Hello there friends,
I plan to at least do a quick check in each day-I need to keep my head into being a Beckie!
Bottom line, they think that Henry has hepatitis. They wanted to hospitalize him but I chose to bring him home after being pumped with antibiotics and vitamins intravenously at the hospital. He gets LOTS of meds here but can be with us and in his comfort place. He is keeping the meds down which is GREAT but the true test will be when he gets a blood test tomorrow or the next day to see if there is any progress being made. Yesterday was the ultrasound and that was a long day (emotionally and physically...for me too!).
As far as how I am doing...for several days, I was not eating enough calories but I didn't feel like eating much. Tonight, I got ahold of some chips and am now forgiving myself for indulging. They tasted good but it was so weird to be in that feeding frenzy place in my mind (and mouth and stomach, etc..). In a strange way, it felt good to be reminded about how bad it feels to overeat so much. I was NOT paying attention to hunger or my reasons for losing weight, etc.. it was rebellious and felt out of control but then I stopped and am now drinking water and trying to be gentle with myself.
Credit moi for: cooking some healthy and delicious soup (from Cooking Light-Chickpea, tomato and spelt-it is tasty!), and keeping some of that pasta/veggie number that I make in the fridge. I have also planned out dinner for the week including cooking 2 new dishes with plans for leftovers for lunch. I am also scheduling exercise in for the week. I have been slacking on reading my ARCs and am getting back to it. I like how I feel being lighter/healthier than I was...I would like to continue on my path.
Bill BE asked about my daughter's bond with Henry...she thinks of him as her brother. I have presented it as him being very sick and we are doing everything that we can for him. We are going to appreciate him, love him, keep him comfortable and hope that he can heal. He might die soon. She is so wise for her 5 years and tells me that crying won't make him feel better, etc.. She hugs him and talks to him but is not freaking out or anything. She did yell at him the other day, "Henry!" and then brought her voice to a sweet and soft voice, "Henry, I love you and I don't want you to die..but your head is tickling my leg and I don't like that...".
Sorry about all the dog talk on the Beck list... it is what I am dealing with and what is on my mind.
Onward and forward! Til tomorrow, Heidi

Am so touched by your daughter's sweet words to Henry; that's a lot of wisdom for a 5 year old. Keeping all of you in my thoughts as you administer the medications and await the blood tests.



