OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I want something sweet. I want something good. I want to go down the street and have a cherry cheesecake milk shake. HELLLLPPP. It's been over a week since I had any serious cravings but I just can't shake this tonight. I have NOTHING in the house to cure this, but I want to go out and get something and I'm fighting it SO hard. I'm making supper, so hopefully eating a meal will stop this!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, just wanted to type here before I grabbed the keys and hit the front door. Can't do it until dinner anyway, but I really don't want to give in. None of my healthy alternatives are working because I don't want them I'm going to eat and then exercise....YES that is what I AM GOING TO DO.

Does this ever get any easier????

Theresa

Theresa...you REALLY don't want that junk. It'll just make you feel rotten afterwards. Do you have any extra sweet fruit in the house? Pineapple? Watermelon? Try having you supper first and then exercising like you planned....exercise is a great appetite supressant for me. You KNOW it isn't worth how you will feel afterwards to go have that shake...that's why you came here and posted first. YOU CAN RESIST! I know it's hard but YOU ARE WORTH IT and it DOES get easier, it just takes time. Before you know it the craving will pass and you will feel so good that you were able to resist!

theresa, you can do it! you don't really want that milkshake! it will get easier, don't worry. if you are craving something sweet, there are always low-cal alternatives. everyone needs something sweet now and then. how about frozen yogurt? the chain out here that's really good only has about 20 cals per oz for all their flavors (so like 100 for a small or something like that). sometimes veggies or fruit doesn't cut it (this is the case for me all the time).

Oooh Theresa, I am with you!!! I sure hope it gets easier!! I hope you found something sweet that was good for you! I have had the same problem today, but not for sweet, for salty. I ate some Cheetos earlier, even though I know I could have found something way better We just need to come here and get encouragement and healthy alternatives. I know I could sit and read this site for hours-if my kids and hubby would let me!
Other than the Cheetos I have done pretty good, one waffle and 1/2 cup milk for breakfast, large salad with LF dressing for lunch. Gotta get moving on dinner before hubby gets home!

Suzy-Our prayers are with you and your son! I know we are only names on a computer, but we really care and you can come here and lean on us! Vent if you need to, whatever, we are here for you!!


I better go get dinner done!! Have a great night everyone!!

Kathy

You guys are so wonderful, you just don't know how you have all helped tonight. It's turned out to be a rough night. After I typed my panic message here I hurried supper done, then kind of picked through it because I really didn't feel that hungry. Soon as it was over and hubby was in the chair with Tyler (allie is with grandma tonight) I did hurry out with the intent on loading up on junk food. I felt like a drug addict that just HAD to have that fix or I would die. It was THAT bad, and it was a huge flashback to where I used to be all the time but DON"T want to be again.

Well, I have to drive across town to the grocery store and on the way I started thinking about what has me in need of a binge...I'm an emotional eater so I knew there was a cause for this. Well, through the drive I put my finger on it. Hubby is going to buy a motorcycle and tonight while we were driving home from MILs he started talking about us riding together and said he wants to get me some leather pants, some chaps, and that he thinks I'll look amazing on the back of a motorcycle. I was excited about this, thinking with the weight I've lost before long I will look HOT in some leather pants.

And that's what brought on the need to binge feeling. Due to some things in my past I have always had this sense that to be pretty, or sexy, or just to be seen womanly brings trouble, it brings bad things. Fat is the ultimate way to cover up, isn't it? It's like hiding who you are beneath a whole other person made out of blubber...and no one wants to look at you. Same reason when hubby says he loves me how I am and still finds me attractive, that used to make me eat all night...subconscious message: you're not fat enough yet! He still wants you!!!

Okay, so just the idea of going into something new, wearing biker chic clothes, that just set off those internal thoughts and the urge to eat is what I've always done when it comes to that. Well, I came home and dropped the junk food on the kitchen table, locked myself in the bathroom and cried myself silly in the bathtub. Hubby thought something was seriously wrong with me, but I told him no, that for once I am just dealing with emotions instead of stuffing them down and ignoring them. For once, I am figuring out what is REALLY going on inside my head instead of running from it.

I realized through all this that I"m not just excited about him getting this motorcycle, I'm terrified about what changes it will bring for me. I know they are dangerous and I worry about what if we wreck and our children are left alone? What if I DO look hot on a bike and hubby isn't the only one who thinks so? Most importantly, can I handle the attention that weight loss and this combined might bring my way?

I don't like attention on myself, would much rather sit back and quietly go unnoticed. I definitely have issues with men looking at me with any sign of attraction. I just have to deal with it, get beyond it. I've been hiding these emotions and fears most of my life and it is time to just deal with it. I am so proud of myself though, because I didn't eat the junk food. I don't even want it now because I know what's going on and I've dealt with it in a more mature, healthy fashion.

Okay, I've dumped enough on y'all for one night. I still feel like just crying my eyes out so I guess I have more dealing to get through. But at least by the time I get through this, the weight will be off for good and I am confident of that this time. I have never dealt with the issues before, so I feel like I've broken a milestone here in this journey. When I came back here and saw all the support I was so happy to have found you all. You are such a huge help. It would be hard to deal like this all alone.

Theresa

ooh theresa,I hope you did NOT get the milkshake..how about keeping some ff yougurt and some fruit in the freezer?? If you have a blender or smoothie maker you can make your own and it'll be healthier for you..
One of my fav's is to take some ff plain yougurt and skim milk, I put a 1/2 tsp of peanut butter in and a zip of chocolate syrup and and whirl away.. has some fat as it has PB in it but it's a good treat and helps when my family is tanking on ice cream- I also make sf/ff choclate pudding and have it with coolwhip free and it helps kill my chocolate cravings..

we had a great BBQ but I ate too much. Nothing bad just too much of good foods. I had extra grilled veggies when I was already full...
I am stressing some - my oldest has to move out of her BF's cause all they do is fight. He is always mad at her - she told her dad not to tell me so I couldn't find out she has decided to move becasue she does'nt want to hear my opinions. So I again need to let go and let her find a place to live that she can afford and keep my nose out of her business, but I worry about stupid stuff like can she find a place? what will she do if she can't? and I worry that the BF is mad at her alot.. My first hubby was so abusive and I deal with abused women at work so I panic at certain signs.

I don't know if they sell this bacon around anyone else But Gwaltney brand sells a bacon that is only 1 -2pts. per serving for WW and is low in calories and fat.. It's in a green box, I don't have any in the fridge so I don't know the exact name. I think it tastes good and I crumble some in a few scramble egg whites with a handful of veggies and pack it into a pita.
I hope everyone is having a great weekend- some places are getting gas deliveries and places have milk again so things may be looking up..
Night all !
And I hope it does get easier.. for all of us.

I will aim for a loss of 4 lbs and a 8 hours of exercise for the month.
Right now I able not able to 10 hours of exercise a month because I am working 50 hours/weekly and returned to school with 5 classes.

you are awesome thersea! it's so amazingly hard to have to deal with these kinds of issues but you are hanging in there. i am so proud of you!
and also brave i would be scared to death to be on a motorcycle. or wear chaps, even if i was at my goal weight
what are y'all planning on doing for the holiday? anyone dreading bbqs and pie out there, or do we all have plans in place for dealing with the temptations of yummy holiday-type food? i am cooking carne asada bbq with dh tomorrow, so i am planning on 325 cals of two tacos with the fixins i like. not too bad. going to stay away from tortilla chips with guacacream though. gosh i love that stuff. maybe there is some way to make it low-cal.
sounds like you have a lot on your plate allie! busy schedule! good luck with meeting your exercise goal though. i'm sure that's plenty with all your activities.

Well that about sums up my absense for the past couple of weeks. I started into the downward spiral of bad eating and finding every excuse not to exercise. I don't know what the actual trigger was - possibly people noticing that I had lost some weight. It seems ridiculous that compliments would cause me to do the opposite of what got me them in the first place. Shouldn't I be happy and proud of myself for finally taking steps to get my body to a healthier state?

One suggestion someone wrote when I first wrote of my spiral when it was beginning to happen was to make a list of all the reasons to lose the weight and then place them on the refrigerator as a reminder when I feel the urge for the fix. After I exercise this morning that is exactly what I intend to do.

hey theresa, my post posted right after yours and I was in the middle of a second post when we lost power. I am so proud of you and your decision NOT to binge! You rock!
As I said above my ex hubby was abusive and one of his abuses was that I had to look a certain way- I had to keep at a certain weight, my hair and makeup had to be just so and I had to dress very proper (no jeans in public) If another man even glanced at me , he took it out on me, it was my fault. When he was gone on 6 month deployments I would eat what he wouldn't let me eat when he was around for 3 months and then I would do whatever it took to lose the weight in the next 3 months. It took me 8 years before I woke up and left. it's been 17 years since the divorce and I still have issues with eating. I gave up drinking 18 years ago and I gave up smoking cold turkey 10 years ago and I can't seem to let go of the eating issues. I know my now hubby (we'll be married 10 years in Feb.) has no problem with me , my weight or losing any weight. I still have fears that if I look better/ lose weight he may get upset with me if someone else pays attention to me , even though I know he won't. He's not like that at all- So I understand where those feeling may come from.

I have such bad cravings that I shake and get mean or I cry, try to convince myself 1 cookie, candy bar, "d" word won't hurt and I have to battle NOT to eat it. - just like a person going thru withdrawls. my dr. said it can last up to 3 months. if you eat one food that triggers your cravings it starts all over again.
Jeane welcome back!! You can jump back on the wagon and get going again.
Cadwell - i have a recipe for Lf guac- have to look it up and post later. I think we used LF sour cream and although the avocado has fat it is a good fat, like those good omegas etc..
I am dreading the BBQ at inlaws to a point- Grandma makes like 3 kinds of cake and they always have munchies out.. I did get LF hot dogs for us so that'll help and I bought baked lays for me and made a big salad so that will help too-
Have good day everyone.

Kathy ~ You all are so much more than names and words on a computer screen! I know I never would have stuck to this "diet" if it weren't for everyone here! And now all the love and support that you are showing me towards my son's deployment...well I just can't thank you enough!

Sandi ~ I believe that!!! My sister just quit smoking a few weeks ago and she describes wanting a cigarette the same way as I would describe wanting a cookie or dish of ice cream! I honestly think that the secret lies in replacing that addiction with some sort of healthy alternative. I'm a quilter, so when I get a craving I've been running to my sewing room and working on a project for a few minutes until the craving passes. Not only am I not eating as much, but I am completing a lot more quilting projects!

Jeanne ~ I wondered where you were! Welcome back!

Theresa ~ Good for you! I'd say you're over one really big hurdle!

Theresa- You are terrrific, to be able to stop and think and try to figure out what is driving you is so great. and if you can do it this time, you will be able to do it next time.
You have really turned a corner.
I think we all have issues with men looking at us. Sometimes it makes me feel good and sometimes I hate it.
My dh used to try to support me in my food issues. Then it became me against him and I would sneak and eat when I was annoyed with him. I felt like I was defying him. Now we don't discuss it at all. I'm sure he has noticed that I am eating differently, but he is absolutely quiet about it. Only one of my friends knows I'm trying and we hardly talk about it. I don't want attention drawn to me. I keep thinking about how huge I look in my son's wedding photo proofs. I hope that by the time the albums are printed, (they have paid for a mother's album for me that will be lots of our family, including me, ) I will look a bit different and I won't be too miserable.
BTW-I don't try too hard to find substitutes for foods I like. If the substitute is going to make it taste really different, I would rather have a small amount of the real thing. I bought little Dove Bars thingys. They are 60 calories and so good and not makebelieve ice cream. I'd rather have that than 60 calories of ice cream substitute stuff, that ultimately is disapointing.
Laura

Welcome back Jeanne. You can get over the downward spiral, you just need to get moving and refocus your mind. Do you have any pictures of yourself that really make you want to just rip them up so no one else sees them? Or some pictures of you at a smaller size where you'd like to be again? Sitting and just looking at those, I mean really looking and studying them, can make you feel motivated again. I found some pictures of me when i was 180 and I would just love to be there again. I want to go a bit below that, but it is still so motivating to look at them.

I did yoga this AM and I LOVE it! I am going to start doing it every morning! I pulled out all my old workout tapes and made a schedule for September that uses all of them, trying to shake things up a bit ya know. I have this AM Yoga tape (can't find the PM now) and I have had it for like 5 years or more and this was the first time I ever actually put it in the VCR...shows how old it is since I get DVDs now lol but I just LOVED it. I felt so relaxed and peaceful and ready for the day. It was great and will be my new best friend for waking up at 5AM.

I feel so much better today Even though our husky ran away and we can't find her anywhere. We just got her and now she is gone already. Frustrating, considering we took her from a tiny cage where she had lived her entire life not even able to move, let alone run. Put her in a very large backyard where she could run to her heart's content, and that wasn't good enough. I was brushing her every morning, she always had food and water, kids loved her to death...so, why she wanted to runaway is beyond me. Her brother got out as well, but he was just sitting on the front porch and willingly went back into the yard.

Cadwell, I am scared of the motorcycle as well. They are so dangerous. Hubby hasn't gone out to get it yet, so I keep convincing myself he will just forget about it...NOT. I won't have to ride it much, since we have the kids and no one to watch them for us to go out riding that often. So, I will mostly just be worrying about him on it. He thinks now is the time since gas is so high and his truck just guzzles it up and takes lots of $ to fill. He's right, but I still dont' like the idea. I said we should just go buy him a small car that will take the regular gas, but he didnt' like that idea

Theresa

Jeanne so glad you are back! I had a similar thing happen to me few weeks ago and was incognito for about a week. You made the right choice-forget it and move on.

Theresa-very proud of you! I am hoping they get better over time too and I know alot of my stuff stems from issues with men also. Alot of lousy boyfriends when I was young and two really crappy husbands-almost a tossup which one was the worst. While the one thing I want more than anything is a healthy loving marriage, I also am scared to death to make yet another really bad choice in men and wind up starting all over again. I am still trying to dig myself out financially from the last marriage while he walks away when it was all his freakin fault in the first place. To add insult to injury he owes me a huge amount of money in child support and it doesnt' even bother him. So obviously I still have issues LOL. Good thing I have alot of weight to lose to work through it all.

I have an old pic of me in the hallway and I see it and want to cry! Course I want to cry when I see more recent pictures of myself also. I also identify with sabatoging myself when people start to notice that I am losing weight. I haven't really told anyone about what I am doing other than my mother but geez I tell her everything. Makes a person wonder why we do that-take it to a negative level when it should be something completely possitive and make us feel all warm and cozy inside. Maybe because I fear then men will notice too-dag nab-is this a viscious circle or what????

Ok need to take Josh's bike up to put air in the tire and drop off an invoice to my mother since she sold another doll dress on auction yesterday. Keep soul searching-the answer is there!
Melissa

My goal this month is 10 pounds to be at 213. I am doing weekly goals also which really help me along the way.