Hi guys. This has not been a good night. Bf has been falling down on the job lately, as far as he doens't tell me I look nice - ever. Doesn't notice if I clean the house from top to bottom, has made several really rude comments - in a joking manner (they cease to be jokes when there are no compliments to go with them). I finally sat him down tonight - when he went to bed without saying goodnight, to ask if he was okay. I finally told him that I'm getting scared. He just said huh. FINALLY he asked what it is I'm scared about. I told him I'm worried that he doesn't love me as much anymore or that he's no longer sure I'm the "one". He just sat there for the longest time. FINALLY he said "I don't know why you would say that." Nothing else. Didn't hug me, tell me he loves me, look in my direction, nothing. I just said good night at that point. It's late and he gets up early anyway. But I was sooo hoping he would do what I needed. Tell me he loves me, tell me he's been closed off lately and either tell me why or tell me it has nothing to do with me or SOMETHING. As it is I'm just suppose to take "I don't know why you would say that" as assurance that he does love me as much.

I cooked his dinner tonight - 30 MINUTES LATER he asks me if I'm going to serve it up for him. (joking). I just said, "I did, half an hour ago." He's not a jerk at all, he just doesn't think about how things sound sometimes - or that women are different from men and need the affection. He's the least affectionate person I've ever met - and it's hard because he was just the oposite when I met him and fell in love with him.

okay, I'm dumping a lot on you guys. I'm sorry. I've just been festering with this for a while, trying to tell myself it wasn't bothering me. It is. I'm going to drink water now so I don't eat. luckily I'm not hungry. I have to keep telling myself - he does love me and this is not worth pigging out over because it will blow over and I will feel horrible about myself if I let this derail me. I just wish he could be a little more affectionate.

oh little grasshopper it's going to be okay. I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel that way with my husband. The other day I told him sometimes I feel like I'm just his errand girl. "Do this, do that, get this, get that". Sometimes that's all I hear. I think after you've been with someone for a certain amount of time you tend to take that person for granted. I know me and my husband have that problem sometimes. How long have you two been together? Sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. I think if he really loves you and cares he'll realize that this is very important to you and what's important to you should be important to him. Don't pig out. It's not worth it. Believe me you'll regret it in the morning. It's going to be okay. :-)

Hi guys! Thought I would check in with everyone before I go to bed.

WOW- while I was typing oraki posted again- I love this group!

Little grasshopper- I am in the same boat as you- live with bf. Mine never says anything nice anymore- he is just there. Eating, annoying me, and ocassionally being social. I am with oraki though- don't pig out. It is SO not worth it! Besides the weight loss is for you- it belongs to you- don't let him trip you up and take that from you. For me- I am going to go my own way when I graduate- for you, it is a call you have to make. I also agree with oraki that you need to sit him and down and talk to him.

michimesh- Good job going to WW! Hang in there at your parents. It is so great that you are there to support your mom. I know it is hard so when you need to let it out- come here- we will
be here for you.

oraki- I buy carrots, celery, chicken for chicken salad (Sue Bee's in a vacuum bag), raisins, V8, a lot of veggies, brown rice, lean lunch meat - I also get some Lean Cusines and when my bf is at work at night I have that and a salad. Hope this helps!

kjk-glad you are jumping right in and I liked your list of things you are going to do when you lose weight. I can identify with all of them.

Well, I need to take a shower and go to bed. I have class tomorrow morning and then I have to edit and put cites in my last paper. I am trying to look at the light at the end of the tunnel but it is hard. I will be SO SO SO happy on Saturday when all this is over.

Good night everyone!!! Have a wonderful night and I will see you all tomorrow.

Hi everyone. You guys are so inspiring I've never seen a bunch of people so motivated and really doing something about it. When i get off work I'm anxious to get on here just to see how you all are doing. I'm so motivated the next day. Sorry I'm on here so late. This week so far has been crazy just lack of time to do anything. But I have been eating right trying to stay under 1600 cals. I have been eating oatmeal every morning, some fruit, no junk food or soda so far. It's hard to squeeze in lunch, but today I had some chicken and vegetabe soup from Subway sooo good and turkey and greens and a little mac and cheese for dinner. I'm doing pretty well eating. Crime girl: the lettuce idea great. I love potatoe chips. I work at night and that's the first thing I grab when I want a quick snack- some greasy potatoe chips lately I've been snacking on walnuts or pecans, but that is a great idea. I will give it a try. Exercise hasn't been so good. I have been up early, dressed and ready to go, but with all the things I had going on this week I havn't made it yet. I'm still going to try to get at least two days in this week. At least I'm eating a little better than before I don't think I lost any weight yet but at least I am off to a good start.

The one thing I want to do when I lose weight is to take pictures. I don't even have pictures of me and my son and he is ten years old and that's bad. But it'll happen for me one day. It's a slow process for me because I'm finally learning how to eat like a normal person and it's hard. but I can picture myself so clear- smaller, healthier and happy. So everyone keep up the faith and stay motivated. I'm going to get some rest and I'll post later tonight.

Hi everyone I am really sick, but I am still here in spirit. I am reading everone's posts and keeping up-I am so proud of you!!! You all are so inspiring

Well I was going to write a message addressing each person but Good God! we cant shut up!....lol.... I JUST LOVE THIS!!!....yup, Im a blabber too. And thank you Crime Girl for giving us topics... I need direction and constant attention when I lose weight...(whiny baby comes to mind)....and someone here said it was better to be here blabbing then eating. I AGREE!!

I ate my egg beaters again....now I have to go buy more..

Someone asked for food suggestions...my greatest suggestion is a steamer...the kind that comes as a large saucepan with an inset with holes. When I was succeeding at losing..( long ago).. I would fill the steamer with veggies and white meat either chicken or fish.. and sprinkle with herbs... then steam... the glory part is that you can let it sit there and pick and the food is all healthy with no fat. The whole steamer can even go in the fridge and then pull it out later and it heats back up in minutes. I find I eat whatever is accessable. so you have to make the good food look tempting and accessible.....like egg beaters!

Lets see if I can actually get my butt to the gym somehow today..the schedule is a bit crazy...

Good Luck Everyone! I'll be back later! Hang in and Good Luck Soldiers!

Susanne

Hi guys. Thanks for all the support last night. Today is a new day. I'll talk to him tonight and after a long night of thinking and worrying, I know he loves me...it's just that the way he shows it don't match the things I look for. We've got to meet in the middle on that...makes me worry that the way I show him, doesn't match what he needs either. Does that make sense. communication is soo hard sometimes!!!

Susane you made me laugh with the egg beaters I can't eat eggs either but sometimes I break down and have them. Mine is an allergy thing.

cinisha - I can understand not wanting pictures. I won't put any of mine up right now. I'm developing a website for my business and I need a head shot. I am putting that off as long as I can. If I'm going to be represented in one snap shot I want it to be the best me I can offer, you know?? We'll all get there though!

What do I shop for?? I get lots of veggies, chicken and beef. I make a pot roast and then when we're tired of eating it I turn it into beef BBQ and we eat somemore. (ours is a vinegar, red pepper based bbq sauce, not the heavier surgary red sauces). I also make a lot of soups. And because I can have brown rice I know EVERY PRODUCT made with brown rice I'm like the forest gump of brown rice....rice chips, rice crackers, rice cookies, rice cereal, rice milk......the list goes on and on OH and rice cheese YUM!

One thing that is important for me is to have healthier choices around in case I do crash. I have Heathier corn chips around. (not suppose to eat them but it's a lot better than caving on regular chips...) Or I'll make sure I have access to better chocolate, or I'll get oraganic, non sugar foods so that when I really crave them i can have them but I'm doing as much damage as with what I use to eat. Now when I cheat for the most part it's not as bad as it use to be. (you have to forget the hamburger thing for this story to work )

Well I'd better get going. I have breakfast and a belly dancing tape waiting for me

Oh, before I forget. My exercises for this week looks like this...

Monday - 2 miles walking, yoga and ab/arm stuff.
Tuesday - yoga and longer ab/arm stuff
Wednesday - same as monday

I feel stronger already My plan is to follow a running/walking plan to get in shap and run marathon next year. So far I'm in the Pre training phase so I'm doing walking. Each week you bump the amount of walking or running you're doing and slowly build the joints and ligaments to be able to handle it (and the lungs and heart). I'm adding weight training and yoga for stretching and stress to it.

What do I like to do? I love the outdoors!! I love to hike (my pack doesn't even fit right now) ride bikes, camp, anything outdoors. I use to rock climb - I want to do it again. I like photography and BF and I are planning to take a photography class together. I have two dogs and I'm also beginning to enter them in dog training classes. That is a lot of fun - and helpful too!! And I love to cook!!! Love it! My dream vacation is to go to Tuscany and eat and learn to cook One day......and last but not least - I really do like my job. I get to make people feel better. I feel like I've done something good each day (usually). I'm passionate about it and love learning more about it.

Look forward to reading everyone's. have a great day!!!!

Hi everybody!!! I just got back from class where I turned in megapaper #1 and I am ready to tackle editing megapaper #2. I thought I would pop in and say HI!

cinisha- I am so glad you decided to join and post with us! You are doing really well on your food so I will make a deal with you on exercise- I haven't done anything this week - I will exercise today and tomorrow if you do! Maybe if we buddy up and know someone else is having problems getting motivated - it will get us going. I also understand what you mean about pics- I have maybe 4 pics of myself at this weight- I hide from cameras.

Jazzmine- Get better soon!!! We miss your chatter so get well !

Susanne- A steamer is a great idea!! Is there any particular brand name that is better then others??? I also eat whatever is around so this sounds great.
You better get in your car and go get those egg beaters! Watch out for the screaming ice cream- it will try to get you to take it home. It is a trap!

Little grasshopper- I am glad that you have thought things through with bf and you make a valid point- maybe I need to try to figure out what my bf thinks about the way i treat him...also GREAT JOB with the exercise. That is going to help you so much and I think a marathon is a great goal for you. You can do it!!!

Well as for me- no exercise all week and I have decided I am blaming my papers - don't try to change my mind- that is my story and I am sticking to it! I really need to get off my butt and go walk - I know it will help me think yet I sit here like a big dummy. Sigh!

I really have nothing else going on except papers and that is a boring subject! I will finally have my life back Saturday and I am excited to not have school for a few weeks. ( I love this little guy)

I will write more later-
oh- things I like to do-
play soccer, run, and hike (all things I cant do at this weight) Always wanted to run a marathon and also wanted to learn how to ski.

I don't think I'll every look at the icecream section the same way again Thanks!!!

Today has been hard. I'm eating okay but really want to cheat. I mean REALLY want to cheat. SF candies are out for me (they send me running if you know what I mean ) Having a big bowl of green beans right now. Had soup for lunch. I know the cheat thing is just because I'm down. I feel like this thing with BF and I is a basic communication thing. Learning how to really communicate I love you....and learning how to really meet each other's emotional needs. But feeling this way doens't help me deal with it much. We just need to be active about it. We tend to do better for a couple of days and then he slacks off - but maybe I do too, I don't know. We have to be constant about it. I think we only have so many times of finding ourselves in this place before one of us decides it's not worth it.

Well enough about me. I'm going to reread everyone's posts and be more positive when I come back

HI everyone!

Yes, Crime Girl. I believe that papers have prevented you from working out.... papers can make some people not only not work out but eat all the cookies too. ..so your doing good!! YAY!!! One paper gone!!!

I did mange to to escape the grocery store with only the intended items and no more....YAY!... I got 3 cartons of egg beaters.... I am stocking up for an exam. The weekend will be a study session and thats my greatest time to overeat! Egg beaters have only 30 cals and I love scrambled eggs so its a good substitute and hopefully I can pig out on them and not somehting more devilish.

I did go to the gym..30 mintes of the eliptical rider and 15 minutes of nautilus! Tomorrow I wont get there... I leave at 6am...I wont be home til 7pm and then nap before I go to work at 10. But I am on day four of eating good and working out.

Grasshopper, I love rice too!!... but it sets me off.. if I eat it, I will be devoring pasta, oatmeal and God know what else without any concern for portion control. Grains set me off... I can eat a serving of ice cream and behave... grains I cant.

No advice on the guy thing..Im in the middle of a divorce...

I was going to do some running but my calves were killing from the eliptical rider...in fact they feel crampy...think I will go soak in the tub...

Good Luck Soldiers!!

Susanne

Hey everyone thought i would check in...Been pretty good today i have stayed within my points so far but i still have a dinner and a softball game tonight...

Grasshoper.. totally understand on the bf thing..I don't live with mine because when we lived together we just did get along at all..I just got off the phone w my bf..he is being a dork too..He tells me not to go to his game tonight and if i do go he is going to be mad at me..he says he doesn't want me going because of the whole thing with my mom..but things have been like this for 2 months and he has been telling me that he feels he is not that important to me and that i haven't been with him enough blah blah blah blah...But i have gone to every one of his games and seen him on my days off..So know that my mom has to go into the hospital again he is telling me maybe we shouldn't be together because i won't be able to be there for him and that he will be on the back burner again...Too much drama for me right now...I want to go for the junk and pig out but i am restraining myself from it..Its hard but i just come on here instead and post..

But anyways have to go talk to u guys later

***hugs****

Okay- well...
By no fault of my own (of course) I just ate a foot long sub from Publix with mayo and cheese...the whole sub...eeekkk! I am blaming the paper- I know there is only one but it ganged up on me. What was I suppose to do???

SO- I am feeling disappointed because I have been so good-
I think I am going to have to go walk in my neighborhood tonight to make up for it..Sigh!

Well I am on page 16 out of 18 pages to correct and put citations in for...
susanne- I happy the ice cream did not get you- ice cream can be cruel and demanding sometimes. Are you getting ready for finals?? and what are you studying?? what year are you ?? give me details girl!

Okay- i will be on later and I will catch up with everyone-
Thanks for reading- needed to vent..

Crime Girl - hope that sub didn't hurt you too much when it ganged up on you! - we'll forgive this one don't let it get you again for a while though Don't let that paper have power over you and how you feel about yourself!! You slipped and that's okay, that's life. Time to make sure you don't completely fall of the wagon We're here for you and quite chatty

Susane - look at you go, at the gym good for you!!!! Rest those calf muscles, you don't want them cramping on you. If they do let me know and I'll see if there is anything I know that can help. Make sure you're stretching before and after you work out - the big muscles at least. That'll help. Believe it or not, tight calf muscles can be associated with extra stress too. (wierd but true) To anything you can do for yourself that is relaxing will help them relax too.

Michiemish - boys are strange. Just when things are good they get wierd again. Good luck with your situation!! I know what you mean about the drama. Sometimes it's just too much. Glad you came here though

Well at the risk of sounding like a hick, one of my dogs ate a dead squirrel and she smells like the dang thing!! I have to go give her a bath.

Hi Everyone!! Still sick here, so that is good for my eating plan-I can honestly report that I am not over eating !! :wink:
Hope I am back up and able to feel more social soon!!!

I didn't even do my watp tape today, I felt so cruddy-But I have tomorrow off, so I am hoping to rest and recuperate!!