Okay, for the -actual- post, now.
I put on my goal outfit this morning, to see how far away from my real, former body I am. Turns out, not too far.
The pants fit, and so does the tank top, but they're both a little too tight. If I lost 30 lbs, they'd be loose on me, I think. I don't honestly even care about what weight I am anymore, because I've realized the "ideal weight" crap does not apply to me, simple as that. I am a muscular person with a very small frame. When everyone else around me in a size 9 will weigh 110 or so, I will weigh around 140. I just have that much more muscle. Yeah, the boots will never fit over my calves -- but that's awesome. How many other people can hike 15 miles without feeling the burn in their calves?! FEW IF ANY!!
Hubby & I were having a nice convo last night in the car. He was really upset about his job because he's treated differently for being younger than everyone else by about 5 years, which he is. If you're young and in the tech industry, you aren't as respected or trusted by management or customers. Yeah, he's 22, almost 23. But he makes at least $6 less per hour because of his age difference. He was getting really upset, and I supported him and explained to him what I thought would help him out -- just staying confident, and the fact that he CONSTANTLY (like, at least once a week here) gets massive compliments from the customers and internal employees who seek his help, and these folks tell his MANAGER how awesome he is. He's always getting huge compliments from the people in his group, and he goes way out of his way to help a customer, even if that means working 2 hrs overtime w/o OT pay. He's just that kind of overly responsible, awesome guy who actually loves his job. He was really happy. Then he went on and told me that even though he really wants sugar most of the time, and our house is a health-food haven now, he'll live, and he'll be able to keep his body healthy with me. He even noted that he's glad I don't go down the junkfood aisle anymore (except for tortilla chips haha), because he'd just sit and eat it all by himself and gain weight.
I'm a little depressed at the moment. I turn 22 in 2 days. I don't really want to. My birthdays have always kind of sucked, and I just don't want to get any older than I am. I'm running out of time to do everything I want to do, and I'm broke, and I just odn't have the means do to half of what I want to do. It's stupid, I know. I'm only 21!! SHEESH! What the **** am I going to do when I turn 30, or 50?! Freak out and have a nervous breakdown, that's what I think.

This kind of gives me more motivation for losing the weight faster and keeping it off by keeping up my healthy lifestyle. I'd rather spend my youth being skinny and not really worrying about my weight being too high. I'd rather spend it having fun and not feeling like I'm "the fat one."
The fact that my goal outfit actually -fits- me, but looks like ****, gives me great happiness. Nobody else did that, >>I<< did that!! I LOST it!! I DID it. I PUSHED myself and made myself be healthy and work out more and change the way it looked. And I'm happy. Now... somebody kick off the 2 extra sizes for me real fast, okay?
I'm off to keep up with my jobsearch now. I need to make more $$$ and today I've only got 2 tapes. What the **** is up with that?! I need MONEY, not more free time to be bored and wish I had a life!! GAH!