Oh sweetheart you are trying to take control but in a bad, self-destructive way. What your doing is no different than cutting yourself up. I'm not criticizing you, I use to be a cutter myself.

Whatever this news is that has motivated you to take such extreme measures, please, find someone to talk to. Damaging yourself won't solve anything.

If you really wanted to lose weight you can do it! You're obviously a tough cookie. Just take all that anger and determination and channel it into a healthy program.

Having suffered with disordered eating for a good 3 years I can tell you first hand it is not a good way to lose weight.
I filtered between barley eating and binging and sometimes purging too, I pretty much just spent the past few years gaining and losing the same 15-20lbs.

I was miserable all the time,pretty much spent my whole summer before starting sixth form lying in my bed because well I didn't see the point in going out because I was too weak and tired to do anything.

Please just try and eat a steady 1200 a day and exercise,the weight will come off I promise you.