I completely understand! I hadn't weighed myself in probably 15 years. I always assumed I was 165-175 or somewhere around there. Then, I had my fitness assessment and stepped on the scale. 191. What!?! I had no idea. I didn't feel like I weighed that much. But seeing those numbers jump started me into changing my lifestyle.

So even though the numbers where bad, I'm glad I finally had myself weighed or who knows if I would have ever changed.

When I look back at photos from even a few months ago, I realize how much bigger I was than I even realized. Our minds can really play tricks on us...

I do the exact same thing! I was so proud of myself a week or two ago because I hit my "mini-goal" of 185 pounds, so I got all dressed up in a nice new outfit... and was horrified not two hours later when I caught my reflection and realized how far away from my goal I really am.

Story of my life, sister! I was in denial and lying to myself for years about my fat. I have this incredible talent of being able to suck in my flab without exerting too much effort, so whenever I would look in the mirror I would be subconsciously hiding the real me. It sounds strange, and you might think "surely you must've known" and I did in a way...but my mind was just determined to live this lie.

But a few weeks ago I breathed in, closed my eyes, exhaled and looked at the real me. I was fat! There was no way around it! I'd always monitored my weight loss through measuring - but now that was a lie too because I would suck in my stomach when measuring. So now I weigh myself as well and don't suck in my stomach when measuring, so there's no where left to hide!

I feel a lot better about who I am funnily enough, because I want to do everything to lose the weight and just be happy and not feel like I have to suck in my stomach to look good - it'll be automatically sucked in for me!

My husband says I'm the opposite and that I will pick out people who I think are comparable but they are actually quite a bit larger than myself. I feel HUGE and disgusting, like all people can see is my fat.

I was the queen of denial. I'd been trying to find before photos at my heaviest and I noticed there are not a lot, cause I avoided the camera. I'm realizing now mirrors I have avoided. This post has inspired me though. I'm going to Target to buy a full length mirror for my closet door. I realize I have no full length mirrors in my house, only ones from the waist up. I was fine with that when I was a fatty, but now I want to see how an outfit looks. I also realize that for a long time, I never really looked at my body in the mirror...

Same here!!!!!!!!!! I took another set of progress pictures last night since I have lost almost 30 pounds (I meant to do it every 20, but I forgot). I was looking at them and ended up crying and got depressed last night because I am still soooooooooo huge. I just couldn't believe that I am down almost 30 pounds and I am still so fat.

I still can't believe how far I let myself go. I was in total denial, like I said in my earlier post. And, the progress pictures are making me realize that more and more.

BUT, on the bright side, I know for a fact that I will never, ever do that to myself again - this change is for life. And that is a fact.

to everyone!

I realize this topic is somewhat 'old' by now, but I just logged in after a loooong hiatus and couldn't help but reply to this!

Denial is seriously a dangerous thing and I agree with everyone's comments. I've always thought that 'well of course I'm fat, but I'm not THAT fat." Even clearly knowing I was over 300 pounds I always felt, well I'm sorta tall and because my boobs are large I look kinda curvy. I'm a full time RN and I'd get patients who literally cannot wipe their own butts because their so big, or can't roll themselves over, or who are struggling to breathe when lying on their backs, etc and I'd always think to myself "at least I'm not to THAT point". Then while I'm doing their admission assessment and I get to their weight it's a slap in the face when I see that I weigh MORE than them! How is that even possible?! I think to myself "I mean come ON, I walk normally (not waddling), I can bend, lift, maneuver around them, etc etc but I'm still heavier than they are and sometimes by more than 60+ pounds! Then I started realizing well, the fact that I'm only 26 is probably the reason for that.

Then the other night at work I was talking to another nurse who is overweight (not by much in my opinion) and she sighed to herself and said out loud, "it's hard getting old AND being fat". That kinda hit home because I remembered one of my sisters telling me when I was maybe 14 and of course over weight that it gets harder to lose weight as you get older. Well here I am over a decade later living with that same sister and having the same issues.

Anyway, it really hit me a few nights ago when I went out for celebration drinks with my friends (who I should mention are cute tiny girls) and as much as I try to avoid taking pictures with them, they kept wrangling me in for group shots. I saw the pictures yesterday and WHOA, even though I thought I was looking pretty good that night, I saw what I was in denial about for decades - I'm HUMONGOUS! I mean, I'm probably the size of 2-3 of one of my friends. That was truly my wake up call, and part of why I've come back here.