In one of my first intimate encounters with a man when I was in my late teens, he told me I could "be doing with losing some of that stomach". Heck, no wonder I have body image issues!
Another time, my 4 year old niece came clothes shopping with me. In a changing room, she said in all innocence "I think you are going to have a baby".
My mum "you will need to do something as I am not going into stores and being embarrassed buying Size X clothes for you" She has never complimented me on my weight loss but has told others how proud she is of me.
When I first started my weight loss journey, my boss congratulated me on how well I was doing, adding "I mean, you have always had such a pretty face, but....."
A woman who goes to my Church said "You have lost SO much weight, but then you were really needing to. A young girl like you should never have gotten that big."
My current boss, when he found out how much exercise I do each week said "I'm surprised by that. I'll need to revise the assumptions I had about you". I think he feels bad about it now as he always shows a great interest in the fitness classes I do and calls me "Mrs Motivator".
A co-worker recently exclaimed in such a patronising manner "You eat so healthily. I am SO proud of you." I was so angry, I felt like kicking her in the teeth. She would never have said that to someone who wasn't overweight. I have eaten healthily the whole time I have worked with this person so my eating habits should never have come as seemingly such a big surprise to her.
On the positive side, I have had many many compliments since starting my weight loss journey from such a wide selection of people. I even started jotting them down in a notebook and would look back on these when my motivation was flagging. (I recommend this to everyone!) My favourite was being called "the incredible shrinking woman".
Probably the most supportive people are the women at my fitness classes. They are a constant boost to my self-confidence. Bless them.
Thanks! It took me just about a year...my original goal was 160, but it just kept coming off 'til I hit 140. I had trouble going from weight loss calories to maintenance calories...but I think my body is "happy" where it is now!
At my starting weight, I just hated when I went shopping in a "regular" store and the employees come up to me and ask, "are you having trouble finding your size??" ARRG!! Thats so embarrassing!
Even now at my current weight when I walk into those "skinny people stores" like Forever 21 and such, you can just feel them staring at you waiting for you to realize that I'm still to fat and to just leave the store....
ya know what? they might be, but they're crazy. some of the sizes in h&m and urban outfitters are just so unrealistic. an anecdote: i remember in high school (over 10 years ago) i bought a skirt from urban and could only fit into the largest size possible. i was like, i can only squeeze into the largest size this store makes??!? now that's just grrreat!
and just to provide some context for the absurdity of their size ranges, im attaching a picture of me in the outfit (i'm on the right). you can't see the skirt, but to give you an idea of what we're talking about here, realize that i have always been more top heavy than bottom heavy. i'm a true apple. what's especially absurd bout this all is i vividly remember just how fat and gross i felt at the time. what a joke!
I think the WORST comment I ever received was back when I was a younger teenager. My sister and I (she was also overweight) were eating in the restaurant...just a burger and fries each. This older guy we didn't know walked by us to the restroom, and on his way out stopped at our table. He asked us if we really thought we should be eating those fries, because it really didn't look as if we needed them. And he just walked away.
Oh gosh, so many of these are terrible! I've had my share of those, too, especially back in high school when I was a lot heavier than I am now. But here's a nicer one to balance out the horrifying ones--I'm in a long-distance relationship and saw my boyfriend recently for the first time since I started losing weight.
He made just the right amount of fuss over me losing weight when he first saw me and then we went on with our evening. Later he turned to me and said, "You know, where you can really see the weight loss is in your face."
I was about to respond poorly, since that made me feel like he thought my face was incredibly bloated before! But then he went on to say, "Yeah, your eyes are brighter and you smile more. You seem a lot more confident and happy, and that is really great to see."
A woman I babysit for told me I looked really skinny. I had only lost about five pounds, and I didn't think it was noticeable, so I felt really good, until she added, "is it just starving college student syndrome?" After trying so hard to change my habits and be healthier, she just assumed I was underfed or something.
Also, when I came home from college, up 20-30 pounds from the last time my dad had seen me, he was constantly pointing out my spare-tire fat and commenting on it. I told him I wanted to wear my Mom's wedding dress when I get married someday, and he looked kind of disbelieving and said "you know your Mom was a lot smaller than you when we got married..." That comment is seriously what put me over the edge, and now I am so excited to get married in the dress, weighing exactly what my mom weighed just to show my dad I can!
As for good compliments, a guy I see regularly in class, but don't know very well, told me that a was looking great a few months ago. He said "you definitely didn't look like you needed to lose weight, but you look great now." Just the right compliment that didn't make it seem like he used to think I was gross. Since then, he's commented several times on new pieces of clothing I've gotten (smaller clothing) and how great things look on me.
Also, my boyfriend is pretty oblivious most of the time - he's supportive, and encouraging, but doesn't notice stuff a lot. Every so often, though, he'll put his arms around me and say "You're teeny-tiny!" and I think it is the most adorable thing ever. It's my favorite compliment.
I've been overweight for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a little kid, and my dad and my brother both made a lot of disparaging comments when I was growing up. Phrases like "fat sow" were often hurled my way. I choose not to have much of a relationship with either one of them these days.
Since I started losing weight, I've been getting a lot of positive comments from folks at work. One girl, when she found out I joined a gym and have been working out, said my eyes are brighter and I have more of a bounce in my step. I thought that was pretty nice.
The things people will say. My jaw dropped a few times while reading these.
I've had a couple of mean comments tossed my way. One was from my best friend. I sent her an e-mail with a picture of me now because she wanted to see what I looked like and as I'm talking to her on the phone, she gasps and says, "Oh my God. Your breasts are so tiny now. Awww, I'm so sorry." I was like, WTF?! That's what you notice. My canadian relatives recently came to visit and when they saw me they were like, "Wow, you lost so much weight we almost didn't recognize you. You were so large. But you look great now." I think they meant it as a compliment but ouch. Like I really needed reminding.
I think the one that made me feel the worst was when one of my co-workers offered me a piece of chocolate. My manager immediately said, "Oh, she won't eat that. She's anorexic." How rude! And that was not during my "I shall eat almost nothing" phase. I was eating 1200 - 1500 calories a day.
On the flip side, my nicest compliment was from my co-worker. Me and a few of the girls were talking about weight loss and the guy didn't get why I wanted to lose weight. I told him I wanted to get down to at least 130 if not less and he gave me the most puzzling stare. Finally, he asked how much I weighed and when I told him, he just blinked for a while. Then, he finally said, "No way, you look like you weigh about 110." I was smiling like a fool the whole time. Of course, it helps that he's cute.
best-
1.me and a friend were walking up to her house the one night and i was like "its freezing out here" she than said, "well maybe if you had some meat on your bones you wouldnt be so cold" (loved it!)
2.i ran into a friend i hadnt seen since high school. the first thing she said was "wow you got so skinny" (made my day)
worst-
1. my dad told my mom that he was worried my husband was going to leave me b/c i gained weight. (my husband never once commented on my weight and thought i was perfect no matter what i weighed. my dad on the other hand is very vain)
2. about 6 months after my wedding my mom and i went to visit my grandparents. the first thing my grandfather said to me was "you must be eating good since getting married, you gained a lot of weight", i just gave a funny smile and said thanks grandpop.
The one that stuck the longest was actually a comment that I got when I was only about 150 lbs or so (I'm 5'8).
My father squinted at me walking up in a pair of black pants and said, "You know, WhitePicket, you look so much thinner in pants than in skirts." At the time I wore skirts and dresses often, especially skirts. It was years before I could wear them again regularly, and to this day I still think of it every time I look at/buy/wear a skirt. I know he wouldn't even remember that and that it wasn't meant to be complimentary nor hurtful -- he just says almost everything that pops in his head.
The best was this March, when I went to the dentist for my 6 month checkup and the dental hygenist asked me if I lost weight. I affirmed, and she went on to say that she could really tell in the face, that my face looked thinner. I liked hearing that and actually, it wasn't until then that I realized my face was thinner.
I went home for my grandparents 75the wedding anniversary. I hadn't been home in awhile as my husband was in the military. At the party, in front of everyone, my grandmother says "You've sure got big"!!!
I went home for my grandparents 75the wedding anniversary. I hadn't been home in awhile as my husband was in the military. At the party, in front of everyone, my grandmother says "You've sure got big"!!!
And I thought it was just my family that did stuff like that!
When I was in high school my grandmother always used to tell me "If you would lose some weight you'd be so much prettier than your friends."----This comment really sticks in my head, in high school I was 160lbs, I would do back flips in the street to be that weight now.
A few days ago while my mom and I were taking a walk we ran into one of her friends. While engaging in conversation my mom blurted out "Mikayla has lost 27lbs!" Her friend looked at me and said " WOW that is SOOOOO great! Like I was a 4 yr old who had just put their toys away without having to be asked. I'm surprised she didn't clap. *rolls eyes*
The worse before I lost weight : "You've gained a LOT of weight since the last time I saw you" met the same lady after losing weight "You look awesome"
The worse after I lost weight : "OMG have you been sick!!" With a freaked out expression too ...
When I was a teenager one of my aunts commented on my weight loss, I said that I had lost about 10 lbs, she said : "No way NOT that much" ... I do know how to count you know
This discussion, and seeing the comments that are insulting to some, makes me realize that I may have insulted people inadvertently.
Last edited by 3fcuser1058250; 04-19-2009 at 12:25 AM.
have you been sick!!" 
With a freaked out expression too ...