Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car.
Frantically I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.” There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane’s voice, “Ken,” she barked, “I dropped you off!”
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”
Diane retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”
By the way, if anyone needs ice, come and get some. The trees in my lane are shedding their icy coats and my lane looks like a giant waiter dropped his ice bucket.
I've already got a bigger problem. We have only one TV. Super Bowl starts at 6:30 pm ET. Downton Abbey starts at 9:00pm. NOTHING comes between my DW and Downton Abbey.
It was French Merlot but we can get California and it's good. Maybe next time.
The remote can be programmed in either official language though. There is also a choice between ºC or ºF and the YY/MM/DD format or the ba$tardized ones used in the less civilized parts of the world. I really do love metric as I then weigh less than 100!
