Quote:
Once I've let that little "sin" in the attitude tends to be "in for an inch, in for a mile". Why not let the inch be it? For many people it is enough. Thin people, don't deny themselves everything they love, they just make up thier minds how much of something they can have and then they stop themselves from going further. Us fatties tend to say "Oh well I blew it for today, I'll start again tomorrow." And then sometimes if we are really on a roll, tomorrow never comes.
I agree with you that you shouldn't have the first one if you know yourself and know that you can't stop at one. I tend to be the same way. I think that is STRENGTH, not weakness.
I would just like to find a way to train myself to know my limits, and find a way to limit quantity and still feel as good about myself as I feel when I don't have any. I really think that if I could reach that point, where I can say "yes" but in limited amounts, I will have conquered my weight issues.
My mother once told me something about conscience that I thought was really valuable. She told me that a strong conscience isn't something that says no to everything. Sometimes a strong conscience knows how to say yes too. A person who condemns themselves for every thing they do, doesn't have a strong conscience they can have a weak one, because they don't understand that there are times when it is ok to say yes to some things.
I realize that matters of conscience aren't the same as matters of weight loss and weight management, but I think there are parallels. If we feel guilty about every choice we make, we aren't strong. Someone strong is able to make choices without guilt, and make wise choices. I'm not there. I'd like to be, but I'm not. Sometimes I decide to lose weight and before I know it I'm feeling guilty about everything I eat and everything I don't eat. I'm feeling like I am not doing anything right. That state of mind is crazy making and scary, and it is counter productive too. Because after awhile of feeling that confused and bad, all I want to do is give up on my diet. NOT because I can't do it physically. Not because the foods I've made up my mind to not eat are calling to me so intensely, but because if I do screw up a little I condemn myself so fiercely for being "weak".
In reality, some elements of being strong are knowing when it is ok to allow a "little" but also to know how to limit that little. I wish I was there. Wish I knew how to do that. But I usually don't. I'm working on it though. Perfectionism defeats me, and so I'm working on trying to learn to be good "most of the time" rather than "all of the time" (until I'm not).
I tend to think deeply about the processes we are all going through, but mostly anything I write about is about myself and my personal thoughts and feelings on a matter. No one has to agree with me. If it doesn't hold true for you, that is fine. But please don't feel offended and please don't feel I'm attacking anyone, because I'm not. In reality I was agreeing with you, but also pointing out how I feel I should be able to handle it differently. It was not meant as any sort of judgment on anyone else.
Sometimes a cookie is not just a cookie. And I'm not talking about quantity - I'm talking components. For me, that seductive cocktail of sugar and flour is a very real physical trigger for hunger and leads to bingeing. It isn't about weakness or perfection - believe me, I can indulge in a greasy plate of enchiladas or dig into a bag of Doritos with no lasting behavioral consequences. Originally Posted by SherryA
good heavens Glory I didn't mean at all that you are mentally weak. I think sugar does affect us physically, but I don't think that one cookie means we have to eat the whole bag. I think that we just FEEL like we've failed when we eat the one, and then afterwards that feeling of no longer being proud of ourselves leads to more "failure". Most people CAN stop after one cookie if they are determined enough to. I mean if you are determined enough to not have the first one, isn't it possible to be AS determined to not have the second, but allow the first? I feel like for me it should be. But it isn't. Why? Because of my all or nothing attitude that I keep trying to get the better of.Once I've let that little "sin" in the attitude tends to be "in for an inch, in for a mile". Why not let the inch be it? For many people it is enough. Thin people, don't deny themselves everything they love, they just make up thier minds how much of something they can have and then they stop themselves from going further. Us fatties tend to say "Oh well I blew it for today, I'll start again tomorrow." And then sometimes if we are really on a roll, tomorrow never comes.
I agree with you that you shouldn't have the first one if you know yourself and know that you can't stop at one. I tend to be the same way. I think that is STRENGTH, not weakness.
I would just like to find a way to train myself to know my limits, and find a way to limit quantity and still feel as good about myself as I feel when I don't have any. I really think that if I could reach that point, where I can say "yes" but in limited amounts, I will have conquered my weight issues.
My mother once told me something about conscience that I thought was really valuable. She told me that a strong conscience isn't something that says no to everything. Sometimes a strong conscience knows how to say yes too. A person who condemns themselves for every thing they do, doesn't have a strong conscience they can have a weak one, because they don't understand that there are times when it is ok to say yes to some things.
I realize that matters of conscience aren't the same as matters of weight loss and weight management, but I think there are parallels. If we feel guilty about every choice we make, we aren't strong. Someone strong is able to make choices without guilt, and make wise choices. I'm not there. I'd like to be, but I'm not. Sometimes I decide to lose weight and before I know it I'm feeling guilty about everything I eat and everything I don't eat. I'm feeling like I am not doing anything right. That state of mind is crazy making and scary, and it is counter productive too. Because after awhile of feeling that confused and bad, all I want to do is give up on my diet. NOT because I can't do it physically. Not because the foods I've made up my mind to not eat are calling to me so intensely, but because if I do screw up a little I condemn myself so fiercely for being "weak".
In reality, some elements of being strong are knowing when it is ok to allow a "little" but also to know how to limit that little. I wish I was there. Wish I knew how to do that. But I usually don't. I'm working on it though. Perfectionism defeats me, and so I'm working on trying to learn to be good "most of the time" rather than "all of the time" (until I'm not).
I tend to think deeply about the processes we are all going through, but mostly anything I write about is about myself and my personal thoughts and feelings on a matter. No one has to agree with me. If it doesn't hold true for you, that is fine. But please don't feel offended and please don't feel I'm attacking anyone, because I'm not. In reality I was agreeing with you, but also pointing out how I feel I should be able to handle it differently. It was not meant as any sort of judgment on anyone else.
It's the high levels of sugar that start that downward spiral for me. I'm no biologist, but I assume that it's linked to blood sugar levels and the spike/drop that follows consumption. Believe what you will, but I have abstained from refined sugar since the beginning of the year and have had not one binge since then... and as they say, the proof is in the pudding!
)
) I am so sorry I am so late in responding to your plea for help -- and now it seems that you've ridden that cold and scary wave all the way to a place of newfound resolve and self-knowledge. 
I want you to remember -- just as I'm working to keep the memory alive in myself -- that you achieved your loss through your own hard work and diligence....noone else did it. It was YOU. And you are now who you were then -- noone came in the night and snatched the wise, strong successful Linda and replaced her with a defective one. You earned that loss by being then the person you ALLOWED yourself to be. You gave yourself permission to succeed. Keep looking within yourself at this Linda who is strong and achieves wondrous things -- and know that she is YOU and you are one and the same -- and try to remember that the reward -- that carrot which lies in the great unknown of virgin loss -- is one you've already earned. Please be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else on the planet, ok? 
C'mon, get over here, people...... 
)
