Hey girls. Work is a little weird lately. Not busy, but I lose myself in other things and the day whizzes by. I shouldn't complain I guess haha.

Good to hear you are clean eating again Mette. I haven't called about the riding lessons, I will do that this weekend. If he answers. I am excited and a little bit nervous about it. We'll see how it goes I guess.

My weight has tipped back down to hover around the 153-154 area and I am soooo relieved. I guess with the time of month that it was, and a week of too much cheating, it really flipped the teeter totter.

I've been having my 3 main meals and 2-3 snacks a day and feeling good about where I am. Sure those Reeses Peanut Butter cups snuck in yesterday, but I don't feel so bad about that.

Wonder where Ang is!

Sorry that I was gone but I stayed home sick yesterday and proceeded to nap on the couch the entire day. I'm still tired but doing better today. Of course I'm swamped even more than usual at work since I missed a day.

Congratulations Renee on your progress! Positive reinforcement might just be what you need to get to the next step. Right now I'm too scared to take measurements or pictures. I stepped on the scale and I'm just around 200 and I'm too scared to see it go above but not ready to do much about it yet. Did you get to the gym? It sounds like you are doing great and you just need to stay motivated. I'm glad your weight is back down to where you 'want' it. It's amazing what that time of the month can do. I have it now and I'm hoping it is one of the reasons for my recent behavior.

mette - I hope you are enjoying your time off but still have some time for us gals when you start school.

I don't cook much so I go very easy. I don't usually use dry beans. This recipe needs the moisture from the canned stuff I think, even though you drain the beans first. I'm going to make this within the week too. I still need to go grocery shopping though. It's so cold here that it is all I can do to get home and crawl under a blanket. Did you get your intended workout in mette? Don't you love the feeling of being a little sore from exercising? I got in a little walk today at lunch (in the snow).

I'm sorry I'm not much help with cardio songs. I'm listening to a lot of folk and country lately and while I like it, it isn't really up beat enough for cardio.

Mette - was today a chocolate free day for you? Your meal plan seems great. Do you make 'real' oatmeal? Is it easy? I do the instant but realize it's not that nutritious.

I better get back to work for a little before I go home. Someone send some warmer weather my way. I don't do well with winter. I hate to just give in, but I feel like I'm struggling to just hold on until some better weather arrives and I can get some energy back and motivation. Maybe I'll look into one of those lights we were talking about. It would also help if my house was warmer - I'm having heating issues so the house can be at 61 all day - that's pretty cold for me indoors.

Later Ladies - take care.

Good morning!

Good luck on the lessons, Renee – hope it works out for you! And it’s very nice to hear that your weight is back down -

Ang – so sorry to hear you’re sick. Naps, blankets and warm tea – possibly some brandy: those are my best tips! Hope you feel better.
About the weight – sorry you’re gaining a little, but it sounds like you’re doing OK for the time being? I understand what you mean when you say you’re both scared of gaining but at the same time not ready to start losing. Like you say: there’s no point in trying to do something you’re not ready to do!
Let’s all hope that spring will come soon: that the snow goes away and it’ll be light and warm again. Everything will be easier then. I think your small changes in eating and exercise is more than enough right now, and that we should try to just get through winter as best we can.
Take care of yourself; get enough sleep, enough to eat, move a little – and before we all know it, it will be spring again. Hopefully.

I don’t cook much either, but I do make real oatmeal for breakfast. It’s no work at all – it boils while I cut the banana, take my multivitamin, and make the coffee. I just boil it up with water for a couple of minutes, put it in a dish – and put cinnamon, banana and milk on top. It’s nice to start the day with something warm these days. Yeah, I’m no fan of winter either…

I have been doing some good work these last days – reading up and preparing for next week. My eating is going well, and I’m pleasantly sore from my upper body workout yesterday.
Have a nice weekend!

Very quick note for now. I'm feeling fine again but not happy about the blizzard that came yesterday and today. I spent all afternoon fighting with my snowblower to partially clear my driveway. At least it was a little bit of a workout.

In general my weekend has kind of sucked. Short version - I found out my mother's cancer has gotten VERY aggressive and she doesn't have much more time. It was my responsibility to call my brother and then my father to tell them. They didn't know because they didn't get forceful enough with the hospital. Lucky me that I don't sit back and just accept everything. My mother doesn't even know and it is probably going to be my responsibility to tell her and make some decisions. I'm the youngest and the farthest away but I'm in charge because of the dysfunction in my family.

Given that this has happened, I have held it together fairly well this weekend. I hope you both have weathered the storm. Renee, did you get out and have some fun? mette - sounds like you are really getting ready for school again. Good for you. Have some fun also though.

I'll try to come back later or else tomorrow. Things at work are more hectic then ever and the situation with my mother is just going to make it worse. I am planning on going to see her this week so if I disappear for a day or two at a time I apologize but the internet is not always accessible when I go home to visit.

Take care ladies and stay warm.

I just wanted to say good morning. I dug out my 24" of snow and made it to work. It's hard to stay focused but am trying to accomplish something related to work today. How are you doing? I hope you're having fun.

Oh, Ang – I’m so sorry to hear about your mother! I didn’t read your post until now, sorry I didn’t write sooner.
How are you holding up? On top of everything: the amount of snow you’re getting is really brutal! Did you get to work without problems? And are you able to think about work at all?

Do you think that you’ll take some time off and go and visit your family and mother now? I really hope you take care of yourself in the midst of all the stress, Ang. Wish you the best with everything!

Please come here and talk with us whenever you can or need to vent a little. Don’t be afraid to use us, we really do care about you and want you to do as good as possible.

Hi Ang – just a quick note in case you’re reading: I hope you’re having an okay day wherever you are, I don’t know if you’re still at work or if you went home to be with your parents.
I just wanted to say hi, and tell you to hang in there, to try and take care of yourself, and all the other useless advices people tell each other when they don’t have anything useful to say – and I really haven’t, but I just want to tell you that I’m thinking of you.

I can’t imagine how stressful this must be for you and your family, and it sounds like they’re really lucky to have you there. Even though it must be hard for you to be the one who fixes things, and do the hard and difficult tasks.
I think I told you before that I lost my brother a few years back - but he died in an accident, so I have never had to go through anything like you and your family are now, with your mother getting sicker and sicker.

I’m thinking of you Ang, and I’m sending you lots of positive thoughts! Take care of yourself.

mette - thank you so much for your support. I always feel strange trying to find something useful to say, but I guess the useful and helpful part is knowing that there is someone out there who cares enough to say something. I really do appreciate it.

I am actually working (sort of) from home today so I can get some errands done and I made some phone calls for my mother's situation. I just didn't need to do it at work and pretend I was working there. My mother still doesn't know about her cancer but everything else seems to be better and she is moving more so the doctor is thinking of sending her home by the weekend. They will send a PT to the house and of course adjustments will have to be made, but she can sit and watch t.v. there and people can visit her more easily. In the end it will just be a matter of time, but for now we all need to be doing what will make her most comfortable and happy.

From the house she can get some things done. She is being very practical and is ready to talk to a lawyer and do some things that should have been done a long time ago. I am still happy that she is able to do these things. Not that I wouldn't do them, but they are her things to do and she should do them. I think she is going to let me be her medical proxy so that's good. She can have the lawyer draw up papers on that too. She told me her wishes also so I feel better about that. If she goes home I am going to go visit her this weekend.

It's bad enough that she is going to go soon, but I'll be grateful for a little more coherent time with her. It's not quantity, it's definitely quality.

How are you doing? Are you ready for school? Renee - what's going on with you?

Good morning Ang. Just checking in to see if you’re doing OK and to send you some positive vibes!
I completely agree that the important thing is for people to tell you that they care about you – it really isn’t so important *what* they say, as long as they don’t start to avoid you because it’s too uncomfortable to talk to you. It’s very sad but I actually lost friends when my brother died - people just stopped talking to me. Very weird.

I’m sorry I’m so brief these days; my days suddenly became very busy: my two days at the hospital so far have been busy, challenging, and very interesting. So far I’m not scared yet, but I probably will be sooner or later. It’s scary stuff to work as a psychologist alone!
But I do like my supervisor; he seems very good at what he’s doing.

It’s good to hear that your mother is feeling better and is moving around more - it always seems like the better solution to keep people comfortable and taken cared of in their own homes. I really hope you get your wish for more coherent time with your mother!!
I wish you the best in dealing with everything, Ang – but how are you feeling in the midst of everything? Are you sleeping? Do you see the boyfriend or other friends who can take care of you a little? Do you eat well?
You probably know that it’s important to cover the basics in stressful times: get enough sleep, eat proper food, have somebody there to hug you and listen to you. But I just wanted to remind you to take care of yourself!
I hope you’re doing fairly OK.

And yeah – where did Renee go? Hope she’s OK too!

Hey ladies. This is the third time I am dropping in and trying to write stuff up! Work has been busy.

Ang- I lost my mother when I was thirteen, and I know how stressful and anxious it is once they tell you that it's just time left. *hug* I'll be praying for your family hon. It's great that you are going to spend the time there too, snatch up every moment that you can. If you need to talk ever, let me know.

I also agree with Mette - during hard times we tend to turn to food and other crutches for comfort, and it's so important to eat well and keep up positive habits. Stress is exhausting for our physical bodies, so get your sleep and nutrition. If you don't take a multi vitamin daily, I'd recommend that too.

Mette- things picking up for you now huh? Maybe now, ang and I can stop being so jealous of you! Your days of relaxation sounded so nice. It sounds like you are really enthusiastic about your job/school stuff though, I wish I had that here.

As for me. Wow, Cabin Fever, Winter Blahs, moods galore. I have been so down on myself the past while and it's really nervewracking. I want a big change, I want a fresh start, a new life. And on the same coin, I am scared to death to take a leap. I don't even know what direction I'd want to leap to!

I think I might have a hormonal imbalance, and that scares me/frustrates me? Because I hate how in this day and age, 'EVERYONE' has a depression and it's solved by some prescription or another. I'm not saying there isn't validity to these things. But I hate that every solution is a stupid pill. That aside, I think my moods are related to hormonal dips. (Which everyone has) But.. for example. I was put back onto birth control to regulate wacky periods. And now, my fourth month in, in the middle of my cycle, I have cramps, tenderness and enough bleeding that I need to wear a liner? And the kicker is, I am TAKING THE PILL. I thought the pill held back the hormones that tell your body when to start your period. So here's me, on pill 8 of the months packs, and having a mini period? It makes no sense. I am sure that with hormones so strong they bust through the effects of the pill, that there is something fishy. I just need my doc to actually give a crap about it. I'm gonna call her today and see what she thinks. Sigh. So annoying.

I've been doing okay on eating though, so at least that's good.

I only have a moment but wanted to stop in to say hello. Things got really off today with more snow. I've definitely had enough. Renee - I am right there with you about the moods and winter blahs. I have just given in for January and just doing my best to coast along. I do want to mention that I had a friend who started bc pills again and she had bleeding in the month - after a dose adjustment it just took a couple of months for her body to 'get used to it' and then the bleeding stopped. Of course, talk to your doctor, but you may just need some time to adjust or a different pill. Be assertive with your doctor and get what you need. They have lots of patients, so you need to make sure you are number one to them while you are in their office. Good luck and keep us posted.

My mother went to her rehab center today. She seems to like it well enough. It is a good move all around. I am still planning on going down to see her on Saturday. I'm hoping bf is going to accompany me but he doesn't know for sure yet if his schedule will allow it. In general he has been supportive though and that has been nice.

I am trying to take care of myself - at least I'm doing no worse than I was 2 weeks ago. I may have stopped gaining weight (at 197 - under 200 - yea!) and I'm trying to get sleep but it never seems to be enough. Speaking of which, I need to get to bed so I'll be back tomorrow.

Good morning girls.

Renee – good to see you back. Sorry about the stress you’re having – both at work and with your hormones - but at least you’re not stress-eating! I don’t know much about hormones and birth control, but I totally agree with Ang about being assertive and get the answers you need from your doctor.

I find it’s easy to feel enthusiastic about school and work these days – there’s really few dull moments.
And what you’re taking about, Renee – wanting a change, but having no idea what kind of change you want; I lived like that for years while working. When I finally found out that I wanted to study psychology, it started with a course in work and organizational psychology I took on a whim. I just found it very interesting, and wanted to learn more psychology. And I wanted to work as a psychologist. But it took time and a lot of thinking before I eventually quit my job and went back to school – even if it’s the best decision I’ve ever made!
My suggestion is that you start looking around at areas you think you would like to work in; see if you can take some courses to find out more about it, see if you can alter your job to suit you better. If you think you want to do something completely different – like working with animals – maybe you can find some courses or look into learning more about how you can get such jobs? Talk to some people who have jobs you find interesting maybe.
I think it’s smart to figure out the direction before you leap too!

Ang – very good to hear that you’re taking care of yourself and that your boyfriend takes care of you too.

I’m still figuring out how my eating works too. I’ve pretty much always known that I overeat when I’m bored and when I’m feeling bad about my self (it’s the whole blaming myself, thinking I’m bad, ugly and fat - thinking negative thoughts about myself - that makes me overeat). So I’ve thought of myself as an emotional overeater for years and years.
But I’m slowly seeing that I also overeat when I’m very hungry (I need to snack and eat enough throughout the workday), when I’m thirsty (I have to drink enough water throughout the day), when I’m sleepy (I have to get my 7 hours of sleep to function at my best and not spend the day after overeating), and when I’m tired (I have to take breaks throughout the day – and hey! I can combine breaks with snacks and water! ).
So it’s not as easy as just being an emotional overeater – I also have to take care of the more basic needs to keep from overeating.

Wish you both a good Thursday!

mette - brief is fine as long as you can keep in touch. We'd miss you if you left. I'm so happy that you are enjoying your 'work'. I'm sure you will be a great psychologist.

Welcome back Renee. I hope work is busy in a good way and not too stressful. For a while now you seem to be struggling with where you are in life. Can you take some time to explore what would make you happy? If you are definitely young enough to make major changes in your life if that is what is required to make you happy. Of course you need to know where you are going before you start the journey. I believe that if you figure out where you want to go, the journey won't be so scary. It may not be easy but you'll have an end result to look forward too. Right now you are comparing known to unknown and of course that is scary. Do you want to change work only or work and other aspects of your life?

mette - after reading your post it really dawned on me how I have never analyzed my behavioral patterns. As soon as I can dedicate myself to the effort, I am going to take a week or two and record what I'm doing and see if I can pinpoint specific reasons why I overeat. Like you, I bet I eat for lots of reasons and don't even realize it.

My mother is happy at her new facility and took a few steps today with a walker. Except for the cancer she seems to be doing well. One day at a time for now for all of us.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Hey ladies. Well my eating was the pits today! Hahaha, but my god I enjoyed every mouthful. Burritos for breakfast, pizza for lunch, two giant oatmeal cookies (They were made of whole grain - that's allowed haha) and then steak and nachoes for dinner.

The good news is that I worked out for an hour! 5 minute warm up, 30 of weights, pushing myself into weights/reps that made the last few difficult. Then 20 minutes on the precor machine.

Feeling good, and I hope tomorrow I have that nice soreness there to remind me to 'HEY DON'T EAT LIKE A NAUGHTY GIRL!'

The doctor called back and told me to finish out this packet of pills, then come next month I will try a new brand. If that doesn't help, then we'll call her again and see what to do next.

Feeling pretty picked up today. Tomorrow I will have a better eating day, and I plan on going back to the gym on Saturday or Sunday. Maybe both? Do cardio one day, and just weights the next.

*hugs*

EDIT: Duh! Mette - do you use any kind of computer program to chart your lifting? I really want to set one up, but if there is one in existence somewhere, even better! Something that I can type in the name of the exercise/machine - the weight lifted - the reps and sets.

Hi guys! Just checking in again.

Ang – it’s nice to hear that your mother is happy. That must make life much better for you and your family? I hope you’re having a nice Friday – will you disappear for the weekend and go visit your family?
Still sending good thoughts your way, Ang. You seem to be coping very well with the situation.

Renee – you really like your burritos and pizzas, don’t you? Thank god those cookies had grains in them, huh?
Anyway - I’m sure you burned it all off at the gym – your workout sounds great!
I use an Excel worksheet to chart my weight lifting – nothing more complicated than that. I basically just log the exercise, weight, reps, and sets – just like you said. Works perfectly fine for me. But let me know if you find something better!

I’m very happy the weekend is coming up, even if I have to spend it reading up on a paper I’m suppose to write. At least I don’t have to get up at 6.30 in the morning!
I also have to rearrange my workout regime for the next 16 weeks (while I’m in practice) – because I don’t have the time to go to the gym in the mornings anymore.
I'll work it out though - I'm not stopping or slacking now!

Ah well. Have nice Fridays everybody!