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#31

Wabby , 01-12-2004 12:56 PM

I'm all thawed out now. We had a nasty ice storm. It wasn't as cold here as at Bagzie's house, but everything had a 2 inch coating of ice on it. We had to close the business for 3 days. No one could get to work. Even the Portland airport closed for 2 days. We were trapped in our house with 2 grown children. Oh the horror.

My dryer top is clean.
#32

Kiwonk , 01-12-2004 03:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wabby
..We had a nasty ice storm...everything had a 2 inch coating of ice on it...We were trapped in our house with 2 grown children. Oh the horror.

Sounds like a Hitchcock classic. I can hear the scary music now, see the sidelong glances. Who will snap first? If the food runs out, who's the first to go?

Apparently I've been watching too many movies. I did watch a cool one this morning, instead of doing anything productive -- Mirage with Gregory Peck. It would have been better if it had been made by Hitchcock, but it was fun to watch. Peck loses his memory and someone's trying to kill him. Black and white. Things are much classier in black and white, you know. Diane Keaton should stick to black and white.

Gotta go pick up my gigantic order of Barnes and Noble books at the post office. I ordered 8 books for about $50, only one of them at regular price (I'm giving DD a college guide for her birthday; is that mean?)

And unpack my new set of glasses, which just came today.

Hooray the American Consumer...

Kiwi
#33

PainterWoman , 01-12-2004 05:56 PM

Grown children are mysterious even if not suffering "cabin fever"
I kept giving my kids college guides and they didn't act appreciative... But just last week my daughter was kicking herself because she hadn't realized how pretty Oregon was when I took her to Lewis and Clark, Reed and U. of Washington. Granted, she ended up at Mt. Holyoke which was just as pretty, but she finally understands what we West-Coasters loved about it.

Likewise, son doesn't admit to wanting much help... but he looked over at me a week or so ago and said, "Bet you're disappointed that I'm such a slacker." Didn't know what to say really.... Slacker... yeah, kinda... but disappointed in my kids just isn't part of the picture anymore. They are who they are and THEY get to live with the consequences.... (He's not "slacking" so much now... astrophysics AND working two pt jobs.

Dryer top is clear, but closet/clothes hamper is FULL of dirty clothes.... And there are scummy dishes waiting for me when I get home from work. I am a domestic non-goddess... or better, a non-domestic Goddess.
#34

Kiwonk , 01-12-2004 09:10 PM

You should see my kitchen -- I'm avoiding mass quantities of cleanup. I managed to make a nice mess with dinner, plus I want to wash about 18 of the new glasses so I can put them in the cupboard. Think I'll just stay online instead. Can't see the mess from here.

Kiwi
#35

Cowpernia , 01-12-2004 10:27 PM

I need to unload. OK? You know my mom, the paranoid schizophrenic who told me, when I was a child, that she didn't want me? The one who, when I went to college and called home, said "What do you want? This is costing money?" Etc. That one? Now, she's in a convalescent center and has been calling me. She wants me to come get her and take her shopping. My cousin, the saint, has been doing this, apparently, as I am such a bad daughter.

Today, I called and asked for her nurse. She sounds gruff. Then, she finds out who I am, and she sounds sweeeeet. She says my mother misses me. She says she talks about me all the time. I say I don't want to take her shopping because she'll run away or tell me she's coming to live with me. The lying b**** says, "No, she's changed. I've been her nurse for five years." I say, "I was told within the year that she assaulted another patient there." She says, "That's not true." Well, IT IS! A man called me twice about it. They took her to have her scrapes and abrasions treated from this affray and then changed her medication.

I am sick of being the bad daughter in everyone's eyes.

I am sick of her calling me.

At what point is it ok to distance oneself from ones parent? And why must the entire world be unable to see another side to this crap?
#36

Bagzz , 01-13-2004 10:05 AM

No Way
there is no way you should have to give in to this if you are not interested Peachers!!! NO WAY!!!! don't let those bats guilt you into anything that will disturb your own peace of mind-------------it is unfortunate for mother but she has lived like this all her life and i am sure she will carry on just fine without your shopping trip-----it's too bad they are not taking your side of the story into consideration but TOO BAD FOR THEM-------------they are the least of your concern----your concern is YOU and your son and YOUR mental health and NO ONE should disturb this--------------i repeat YOU and YOUR SON are the important players at this time ---------------if you feel like devoting some time to mother at another time,fine,but go with your gut right now-------------------------THAT IS MY LARGE OPINION AND I STAND BY IT---------------------- now i will let the other cows hold forth
#37

Wabby , 01-13-2004 02:26 PM

Dearest darlingest Peaches - this is my advice to you. Take care of you and the one person you are responsible for at this point in your life, DS. Read a few books about the narcisistic personality and throw in a few on schizophrenia and I think you will be able to throw off the guilt and realize that you have no obligation to your mother at this point. Of course, this is advice from a person who has not spoken to her dear Daddy since last Mother's day. Occasionally I feel guilt, but not enough to make me want to talk to him. My parents sent me a check at Christmas for $300 in a Christmas card. No note. Then yesterday I got an envelope in the mail with a check for $700 and note that said "Wabby, enclosed is balance of X-mas gift. Dad" What????!!!! It made me feel like I was a bill they have to pay. I haven't cashed them, or sent them back or even called to say thank you. I'm trying to decide what to do about them. I would rather my Dad would call me and say he was sorry. I'd trade the money for that.

Sorry about the tirade about my parental problems. Anyhoo, Peach, in my opinion, for what it's worth, you're all paid up on your daughterly obligations.
#38

Kiwonk , 01-13-2004 04:05 PM

Perzactly, Peachie, what they said. Trust your instincts. You know what's going on, the nurse seems to have her own agenda. If you ever decide to take her out, bring a leash.

Funny, I've been mulling ex-family responsibilities today too. My late dad's second family who I never see (but stupidly continue to send Christmas presents to) may have to be dealt with again this week. DH talked to his friend, my BIL, and he told DH about a cocktail party in honor of his father's 70th, who is someone we like very much (this would be my half-sister's father-in-law). Not sure if this was an invitation, or where the shindig is being held, but if it's at my sister's house, I really don't want to waste my psychic energy going to another family event there, only to have everyone be all buddy-buddy and we-should-get-together and then have them snub us again for another year or two. I'm sure we wouldn't have heard about this if DH hadn't called BIL, so why should we feel really invited anyway? On the other hand if it's at the FIL's house, I would happily show up -- it's 10 miles away, and we'd be "on our own turf" as opposed to driving 3 hours each way for the priviledge of being set up for future disappointment again. I'm such a sucker, I just know I would end up inviting them to a birthday party for DH (next week) or DD (next month), and getting all upset because they promise to be there and don't show up. Or whatever. It always happens.

Wow. No wonder we are all fat.

The thing that really rankles is that all these half-siblings have kids around DD's age -- I know they would like to spend time together and they should, but there is just zero relationship to build on with my half-sibs.

Wabbit, keep the money. It's his guilt talking; it may be all he has to offer. If I were you I would write a formal little note of thanks ending with hope to hear from you soon, but then you can see what a loser I am with family relationships, so don't listen to me.

Kiwi
#39

Wabby , 01-13-2004 07:01 PM

Kiwi, you are not a loser with family relationships - look how everyone in this family of cows loves you. DH has a half sister that we sporadically see. I'm talking we can go for 5 years without seeing her, and I know she probably feels left out of the family, but the truth is that the rest of the siblings are not really all that close. DH has a brother who lives in Utah that we haven't seen since DH's mother's funeral which was 20 years ago. He has a brother that lives within 3 miles of our house, which we only see once a year at Christmas. I see my sisters at least 2 or 3 times a month. It's so strange why some relationships are strong and others don't seem to take. I'm closer to my ex sister in law than my present sister in law. I don't know why, I just am. Probably because we are a mutual fan club. I'm going to think on this family relationship thing. Hmmm.
#40

Cowpernia , 01-13-2004 07:58 PM

Where are the normal cows?

I relate Kiwi. My cousin, Eeyore, was so glad when I moved here. "I don't have many friends," she said. "You and me can do stuff together." Something like that.

So, I asked her to come to town and have lunch with me about five times and she said "no" because she had to do something with someone else. So I gave up. Now, he hauls my mom around and doesn't speak to me.

I, too, am snubbed.
#41

Kiwonk , 01-13-2004 08:41 PM

Guess what???

I'm a paying member of 3FC forums!!! NO ADS!!!!!

Check it out! http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35036

Also I started back on Beach Body DVDs and did a full 30 minutes weight workout. So I deserve my new subscription.

And no more Atkins slime-down-the page ads!!!! Yay!!!

Kiwi
#42

Bagzz , 01-13-2004 10:18 PM

[B][I][U] i am so glad we all agree ------------SO THE SHOPPING TRIP IS OFF,RIGHT???
#43

Cowpernia , 01-14-2004 07:38 AM

Kiwi, you getting a commission for selling this? Your posts are now SO BIG they don't fit on my screen. I have to slide left to right to left to
#44

Bagzz , 01-14-2004 08:53 AM

me toooooooooo
how come i have to do all that sliding to read posts ---i hate it---KIWI----FIX THIS OR TELL US WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAAAAAAAAAAAA---IT'S MINUS FORTY FOUR WINDCHILL FACTOR----------AND THE HEATER IN THE VAN WON'T WORK-----------IF YOU TURN IT ON,SMOKE COMES OUT OF THE RADIO------------WHAT IS GOING ON???????????
#45

Kiwonk , 01-14-2004 09:36 AM

Whell, golly gee, bovinesses, ah didn't know ah was causing all kina trouble!

School got cancelled today due to the cold -- but not before DH took DD to school for 7am jazz band practice, and I had to go pick her up because he had to get to work. I was soooooooo looking forward to sleeping all morning. Since when do they cancel school for cold weather? I swear I don't think they've ever done that before here. It was -26F on the car thermometer while I was driving into town. Plus a hellacious wind. Our poor furnace can't keep up and it's cold in here. Boohoo. Poor me.

Kiwi

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