lilturtle, try to calm down. It will all be worth it when your knees are healed. Take lots of deep breaths, calming breaths. Breath in calm, breath out the anxiety.

It will all be ok.

Trish: I just saw your post and I am praying for you right this moment. I hope and pray that all goes/went well with your knee surgery and that you will be able to go to a rehab facility where you will get the care that you need and deserve. My heart breaks for you that you don't have anyone to take care of you. I wish this whole group could be with you at that hospital and pitch in to take care of you at home. Please, if you are able, check in each day and we will be here caring about you, cheering you on and wanting the BEST for you! And, I personally will be keeping you in my prayers! All will be well! I promise!

Lisa: Thank you so much for being here for lilturtle (Trish)!!!

Kathleen, I know what anxiety is like and it is absolutely terrible. I know about deep breathing and when overcome it can help and keep you from freaking out. I feel so bad for Trish. I will keep her in my thoughts.

I have some good news. I go back to work at my second job on Sunday, they called me today with my schedule for next week. I REALLY need the money, I've been struggling so much financially. I washed up all my scrubs yesterday just incase I got the call. I officially have 2 incomes now. yay!!!!!!

lilturtle I'm very sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing with your surgery. My mother would be equally unsupportive. I hope that the hospital provides you with the best care before during after surgery and through recovery.

Lisa, congrats on the job!

I have been really sick lately. Haven't been feeling 100% for a few weeks now. Yesterday I woke up at 2am and couldn't breathe, managed to cough my way to breathing but struggled for a while. It stopped then I started having trouble breathing again about 4am, so took my Dad's car keys and drove myself to the hospital. I have pneumonia and I guess it's bad enough that under good conditions I'd be admitted into the hospital, but mild enough that since beds are limited they sent me home instead with meds and a very firm "if you stop breathing again come back to the hospital" which is incredibly reassuring (not). So I may be a bit more absent than I intended to be. But I'll try to check in when I can.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

Hi postscriptlove! We can be new together!

You too, LadyKay! We all 3 will be new together. I'm so sorry to hear you have pneumonia!! My sister has had it in the past and it's scary. I hope you don't stop breathing again. Sending you warm hugs and some oxygen

Lisa - I am so glad to hear about your second job!!! That will be so wonderful!

Fiona - I am so jealous of visiting the fall leaves in PA. I love fall. The leaves are so pretty. Growing up in CA, I never really saw fall leaves changing!

lilturtle - I hope your knee surgery went well. I'm so sorry that it feels like no one is supporting you. Having your knees all healed will certainly be a good feeling - and we are all rooting for you.



I just found out that I get to go home for Christmas (one of my coworkers told me he'd cover a couple of my shifts) which I'm really excited about because holidays are the only time I ever get to see my family. I also lost 4.8 pounds this week, which has been really encouraging. I am thankful for 3FC support!

Hope you all have a great weekend! I normally log onto 3FC during lulls at work (sometimes work is completely dead and other times I can barely think straight, we are so busy!) and I don't work this weekend so I may not log back on until Monday.

amy, it is so good to see you, sweetie. So very happy for you that you have lost some weight, wonderful news. Going home for the holidays reminds me of my daughter, she'll hopefully be home for the holidays too. She has a job at college, she is a server at a restaurant. I just hope they let her come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.


LadyKay, I am so sorry you are ill. How terrible for you, that would scare me too if I couldn't breath. Please take their advice, if you can't breath go to the hospital.

Kathleen, I feel so bad for Trish. I would have support from my family if I were in her place and I feel bad that she does not. I hope she is alright!!!!!!


Much love ladies and be well.

It is so great to log on and see lots of support flowing here!!! I have been doing much better with healthier eating and exercise. The Abilify taper is going so well, which I am very thankful for. It has given me some hope again that I will be able to lose weight; that and my upcoming appointment with the endocrinologist. Can't wait until I get my thyroid functioning at an optimal level. I have high hopes for some serious weight loss then. I am just working now on getting healthy habits consistently in place so that, once all my weight loss resistance problems are addressed, I will be on my way!!!

Lisa (ohiofreespirit): CONGRATS on getting your 2nd job back!!! So good that you are all prepared already with fresh clean scrubs! I hope this will help to ease your financial burdens a bit. It has been great to see you here often lately! Your support to everyone means a lot to me, too! I am also so worried about Trish! I HATE that she doesn't have the support of family and friends, like she deserves! I wish we could all transport ourselves there and take good care of her. We are there in spirit, though, that's for sure!

LadyKay: So very sorry to hear that you have pneumonia! That must have been so scary when you couldn't breathe!!! I am glad you went to the hospital. I hope it clears up as soon as possible! I will keep you in my prayers.

AmyLynne: I am very happy for you that you will be able to go home for Christmas!!! Very kind of your coworker to cover your shifts! CONGRATS on losing 4.8 pounds!!!!! That IS so encouraging!!! Have a great weekend!

Waving hello to everyone else!!! Hope all is well! Have a fantastic weekend everyone!!!

Trish (lilturtle): I just wanted to check to see if you are able to get online and see our words of support and encouragement. I sure hope so! How did the surgery go??? Thinking about you LOTS and keeping you in my prayers!!! Hang in there!!!

I've been having a good weekend, continuing, with just one dip into -1, having 0/0/0 days. I've been running errands related to our trip to Pennsylvania—such as picking up my Kasimir Malevich print from the framer's, where I had it foam-mounted, and buying a big wooden easel to use for the large collage backgrounds I intend to create in my new auxiliary studio at the farm.

Friday night my 14-yr-old great-niece Grace, who's a freshman in high school, came over. It was the first time in some weeks, because we had to wait until the kittens were officially clear of the ringworm fungus, and until we had vacuumed and mopped the house very thoroughly to get rid of any remaining cat hairs that might have fungus spores. I picked up Grace around 3:30 PM from school, and she stayed until late, about 10:30 to 11. Grace was eager to spend time petting and playing with the kittens, since she wants to be a vet when she grows up, and she only has a dog in her house. So we devoted a few hours to kitten time, but Grace also sat at the table in my collage studio and did some of her math and Latin homework. After that, she helped me out for a couple of hours with sorting my clippings into their appropriate boxes, which range from categories like "animals" and "text" to colors like "black/grey" and "orange." Friday will be her regular night for coming over once a week. But we will have to miss two weeks while Bob & I are at the farm, so her next Friday won't be until the 31st, Hallowe'en night. If her parents give the OK for her coming to my place on Hallowe'en, we have some special plans for that holiday (my favorite). =grin=

Today Bob needs to take care of some financial stuff (bills and deferred tax forms), and I'll be busy packing up my art supplies for the farm (including paint!) and other stuff I'll need for the trip. If all goes well, we should pack our old Toyota Land Cruiser on Monday—we need its ample space for my supplies, such as a mat and a chair I purchased for my studio—and then head for the farm, the kittens traveling in their snug little crate.

I'm still doing my Qigong exercises multiple times a day, plus my nightly leg lifts, which are especially important now for helping with my mildly injured knees. My eating is OK, but somewhat off plan, but starting today, or Monday at the latest, I plan to go fully back on my low-carb weight-loss diet, and stay on plan while we're up at the farm.

As I mentioned before, I'll be off the Net starting tomorrow until the 26th. I hope all of y'all are doing well: I'll get back to doing personals after we get back from the farm. Take care! =smile=

Fi: It sounds like you are doing really well. That is great! I just wanted to say have a wonderful time at the farm! I hope that, in addition to collages and art, you have time to just relax and rejuvenate! Sounds like Fridays will be a special day for you and for Grace. That is awesome! So the kittens are all better now? I hope so! Thanks for reminding me that you will be off the Net for awhile, so that I don't worry about you. Take good care while you are gone!

Hello friends,

Fi, thanks for letting us know you'll be gone for a while. Have a great time!!

Kathleen, it's good to see you, as always. I love when the thread is active.


I worked 10-1 today so no church for me today. Even though it was a short shift, I am tired. I came home and preceded to take a 2 hour nap. I'm not sure if I will be working every Sunday or not? I will just have to wait and see? I love going to church so I kinda hope they have me working every other Sunday.

Kurt (my favorite driver) finished 11th last night in the Nascar race, just outside the top 10.


Jennifer will be coming home for Fall Break, I think next weekend. Will let you all know, when I know, for sure.

I just turned on the furnace to warm up the house, it was pretty cold in here. I hate being cold.

I hope this post finds everyone well and healthy. I will keep you all in my thoughts. *hugs*

Hi Everyone

This is a great thread. The struggles of having depression AND trying to lose weight and stay healthy are not always understood, I know that. I'm back this month, but I joined here in January of this year, but stopped posting a little while later because I had an injury.

I'm not sure if I told my story before but here it is in a nutshell. I was diagnosed in 2003 when I burned out at work, though I knew something was wrong well before that. On meds for 7 years, gained 97 pounds, I was never overweight before and this made the depression worse.

I decided on my own to get off the meds and try for a more natural but manageable approach. Took me 3-4 years to get off the meds (on my own, doc didn't approve) and lose the 97 pounds, I actually did reach my goal in 2012. I'd been alone, no relationship for 18 years at that point and I was lonely so I was motivated to get myself healthy and look for romance.

I found my bf in 2013 and we've been together since. He is SO supportive of my depression, which is 60% of the time manageable and in the background. Since I met him, and having a car accident last spring, I regained 27 pounds which I'm now trying to lose again.

One thing that scares me is that I'm 46, he's 26. He doesn't see my age, I don't see his...but I KNOW I'm 20 years older and sometimes it makes me feel desperate to have a 20 year old body again, which makes me work too hard, I get injured and I fall into depression again. I KNOW he loves me, I know he doesn't care about the age difference...but in my own mind, I worry he'll lose interest if I'm not "perfect" - and that judgment is 100% on me, not on him, I don't know how to deal with it at times, and since I have no friends, I can't really talk about it.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I'll be a regular here to support and look for support!!

Hello again,


I was thinking about something today. I used to be skinny back in my 20s and I was so unhappy and depressed. Today, I am fat, yes, I do use that word, and I am so happy. I decided that I like myself better today than I did way back then. Now I'm not saying that I'm not going to try to lose weight, I was just thinking how ironic it is how happy I am today even though my body isn't perfect.


Welcome to the thread, Chardonnay. Thanks for filling us in on your story. We are so glad you are here.

Chardonnay: to the group! So happy that you posted! A big CONGRATULATIONS to you for getting off of the meds and losing so much weight and reaching your goal ~ all on your own!!! I am currently tapering off of Abilify, which my doc isn't thrilled about, but he agreed to write the prescriptions for the taper. I am very much a rule follower and "do what the doctor says" kind of person, or I would have tried this sooner, but my hubby went to my last appointment with me, which gave me the strength to request getting off of Abilify. Anyway, so happy to hear that your boyfriend is very supportive of your depression. Sorry to hear about your car accident and that you regained SOME (not nearly all) of the weight. You are smart to reach out for help before you put back on any more weight. You don't have to do this alone. We are here to help you and cheer you on. But, you said that your depression is manageable and in the background 60% of the time. What is your plan for the OTHER 40% of the time? Are you managing to "just get by" on your own and with his support, or do you think it might be time for some professional help again? I know the thought of this probably scares you, since you worked so hard to get off the meds you were on before, but the issue of body image that you are currently struggling with because of the age difference in your relationship sounds like something you should talk about with a qualified professional counselor. I can't be much help here, because I would probably have the same fears if I were dating a 26 year old. (I am 47.) Have you talked to your boyfriend about your fears and feelings surrounding this issue? If not, I would highly encourage you to discuss it with him and get his feedback. It might be helpful. Regardless, thank you for posting. Hope you will get some good feedback from the other ladies in the group. Best of luck to you with your weight loss journey and with the body image issues!