-Dating. I know plenty of people have found relationships and even love at larger weights. In my head, any guy who has interest in me is either looking for what he hopes to be an easy lay or he has a fetish. This may very well be entirely false, but I just can't get past it.

-Exercising with friends. I'm so very self-conscious about my heavy breathing when I exercise, that around other people I feel like I'm about to suffocate trying to breathe quietly!

-Lately, shopping. I've always loved shopping at any size. But I'm at this point of not wanting to buy any more in my current size, but still having a good bit to go before dropping a size (usually takes about 20-30 lbs for me). So at the moment, it's just frustrating and depressing for me. Also, my proportions are just different than they ever were before, even at the same weight. My belly is bigger than everything else and nothing fits right. ugh!

-Flimsy patio furniture. I will stand all night long in the most uncomfortable shoes ever before I will sit in some little chair I know is gonna get stuck on my a** when I try to stand back up, and I fear may even break when I sit in it. I've never broken a chair, but some have felt extremely unsteady and it makes me very nervous.

diamondgeog-

I think it's as simple as this: Yes, we need to encourage ourselves and talk ourselves up to be positive. Because (for me at least) positive attitudes and weight loss go hand in hand. But sometimes, you just need to VENT.

The reality is that not all of us are so wonderfully well-adjusted that we go through life without letting our weight hold us back. I dare say most of us aren't. And saying out loud (or writing on screen) the ways in which we let our weight hold us back, can be a step in realizing how ridiculous that behavior is. It helps you acknowledge what you're missing and makes you evaluate whether it's WORTH missing over something as silly as worrying about your weight.

Too often, we can easily tell others that they are being overly self-conscious in a certain situation, but can't say the same to ourselves in that very same situation. Posts like this help us to not feel alone in our struggles. It also helps us to confront whether we are struggling more than we ought to.

I'm not one to drone on about how horrible my fat life is or to call myself names. It's very counter-productive. But I also don't want to block out a part of my reality that I'm NOT happy and I do have a lot of negative thoughts, and it's OKAY to talk about those things.

Eh, maybe I live under a rock and I don’t watch many TV shows, but it seems like there is an equal amount of good looking thin men AND women in the media. If you are not a good looking thin man, then your only option is to do comedies. So yeah, men have a little more leeway in Hollywood... not much though.

...Like many others, at my highest weight I NEVER wanted my picture taken. In fact, I don’t think I have any pictures of me at my highest - sometimes I wish I did, just to compare.

Up until about 16, I was thin. After that point, my weight fluctuated. I was usually around a size 8, but at times I'd be heavier and go up to about a 12 and sometimes be a little lighter and go down to a 4.

Anytime I was above my size 4 weight, I avoided dating someone new because I was avoiding have sex with someone new. I also avoided wearing clothes that were at all revealing -- never wore sleeveless tops or skirts.

I've been a size 2 or 4 for about 3 years now. I'm way more comfortable showing my body now. I don't think my perfectionist tendencies have really changed though; I just happen to be meeting the standards I hold for myself now. I'm pretty sure that if I gained 20 pounds, I'd again feel uncomfortable in my skin and unsexy.

Where did my standards come from? Society? Myself? I'm sure it's a mix of both, but I hold high standards for myself in all areas. So I think it's mostly from me. Weight just happens to be the area where I'm most insecure.

What's crazy is how much my own judgement of myself overrides anyone else's. During my heavier phases, if I was already in a relationship, the guy I was seeing was never critical. From their words, to their actions, to the way they looked at me, it was clear they desired me. But I didn't see myself as desirable so I still felt unsexy. And during my heavier phases when I was single, I'd reject every guy who showed interest because I was "certain" that my clothes and persona were tricking them into seeing me as hot and that once they saw me naked they wouldn't want me anymore. I know these thoughts are false and unhealthy, but they lived in me and probably still would. I never judge anyone else the way I judge myself. I have a really loving, accepting attitude towards others in all ways, but am so strict with myself.

This is true as far as at goes, but choices aren't always available, obvious, or easily recognizable as being needed. That's where things like regulation and education come come into play.

Something I don't do because of my weight:

Horseback riding. I took a few riding lessons as a kid and would love to try it again, but I won't do it until I'm light enough not to hurt the horse.

I don't wear shorts basically ever.

I don't wear shorts basically ever.

Me either but I didn't think of that until you said it. Ditto sleeveless things. I summer in a cool climate where capri or flood pants are fine and short sleeves are cool enough.

Meeting new people and joining social groups. I'm just too self-conscious and feel inferior.

And initiating conversations, especially with men. I just assume I'm totally unattractive so why would anybody be interested in me, especially in a romantic way?

What is very sad is that some people who are avoiding things are at or close to a healthy weight. What's up with that???

i dont wear a bikni my mother has it drilled in my head im not thin enough to wear one yet and it looks bad.she only says this becaue she "loves me" mind you i dont look the best in one yet but id still wear one anyway if it wasnt for her. i dont go clothes shopping yet.

I'm in a funny place...

People see me as confident and vibrant.

I am a department head, and just this year impressed my new principal with how easily I speak in front of crowds.

I have spent a lot of time on stage in the spotlight in my theatre days...

But most of it is a front.

I can do those presentations because I know I'm great at my job and that kind of speaks for itself (third year at the same school, parents and owners know I do a good job too)

But there are so many things I skip out or panic about with my weight:

1- beach/pool.... I hate walking in sand as I sink into it, bathing suits are just torture even though I bought 2 new ones this summer.

2- I panic about chairs....arms that might not quite fit, chairs that might break (old cruddy furniture is frequent here)

3- pictures.... I hate them.... I take selfies and might do like 30 until I get one that doesn't make me look too fat.

4- I can't avoid flying but I panic about it everytime..... though I am a HUGE girl and have never been asked to upgrade or buy a second seat and I fly a combination of international and domestic about 5 returns flights a year.

5- I never went to auditions or tried to pursue acting because of my weight (though I was smaller when in University - okay also money, I like money and wanted to earn it but I know weight played a huge role too)

6- biggest one, dating.... I hate the way I look. I wouldn't date me, I don't even want to think about being intimate with someone... so why would anyone else want to? and I hate this one as I wish I could be dating.....

I can talk to people, I make them laugh, heck I am even 'pretty' or as my dad said "you have a pretty face and would be good looking if you lost weight"....

I just want to be the person I see myself as....

Dressing up, or nicely.
Taking my clothes off in front of my husband
hmmmm.....I'm sure there are more situations I have avoided as well

I avoid wearing a dress, skirt, bikini and trying new things like paddle boarding.

This thread is a bell-ringer.
I avoid my life because of the weight.
I avoid friends.
I avoid parties.
I avoid activities.
I avoid the camera.
I avoid, period.

Just thinking about it so bluntly is disturbing.

Day 1: Confrontation.

I avoid the beach, which is sad, because I live right by it and used to love it. I guess I still love it, but I'm not going anywhere near a bathing suit.

I avoid hanging out with my husband and his friends on game nights because I compare myself to their SO's and just feel worse. I want him to feel proud of me and show me off. This is causing issues because he really wants me there. (Oh last night, we were having a tiff, and I said, I am so unattractive. He just looked at me and said, "If I thought you were unattractive, I wouldn't be with you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. So stop saying that." I didn't know how to cope with that, and I think next week I might just actually go with him and quit being silly.)

I avoid clothes shopping, because it just gets me depressed.

I avoid my family, because as much as I love them, all I hear when I see them is either how fat I've gotten or the obligatory, "you look like you've lost weight", when I haven't.

Lately, I've had to avoid amusement parks. This hurts as much as the beach, because we were annual supporters of Universal Studios in Orlando and Disney World I can't stand the look of the person next to me on rides. Yeah, I know buddy. I'm fat and I know you are miserable. This also goes for airplanes, which thankfully I have to avoid lately for financial reasons LOL I hate the feeling of being squeezed into something.

I avoid cameras. The mirror is bad enough. The extra gain through pictures, yeah, doesn't help.

I avoid looking at pictures of me from the last three years.

I avoid shorts, skirts, and bathing suits. I never looked good in any of them, even when smaller, but this weight? Not going to happen.

Horseback riding - I've had several opportunities in the past year to go, but one stable blatantly told me no and I declined my friend's invite on her's because I feel too sorry for the horse. Next year, this is the first reward I'm giving myself!!!!! I can't wait for horseback rides on the beach!!

All that being said...... I'm actually pretty happy with my life. I don't sit around and lament these things. It just is what it is. Everything on this list is fixable. If I'm going to be sad about something, it's going to be about things I can't control. I can control what goes into my mouth and that's a good start!!!