Quote:
Originally Posted by Samba
It is good to know that I am not alone! Though I realize many people struggle with weight, for myself, it seems to lead to isolation and sense of failure. I am really learning to love and accept myself through this IP process.
I sure don't have all the answers and I imagine all roads lead to Rome as far as finding our individual ways out of eating trouble. I think my relationship with myself is really improving. Now, if I can just get my responses to stress and emotion rewired to not include consumption of comfort foods!
My first lesson with EBT is about learning to check in with myself 10 times a day. It involves taking a couple of minutes to become quiet, diaphragmatic breathing and checking in with one's present state while also being very accepting of it.
Hey, that alone is pretty amazing. I bet I spend a great deal of time trying to avoid and "foodicate" my levels of stress during the day. I have had plenty of stress in my life and, by nature, am pretty susceptible to it. I think I sorta got " stuck on stressed" rather than being able to reach a happy state easily.
I so want to have this seemingly life long struggle with eating and weight gain get better. If I am "stuffing" my emotions, then, I think of the pounds as not only fat but also pounds of anger, fear and shame being shed!
Yeah.... it is easy to get out of touch with yourself. I have been fixing my house to sell, and in the process, the TV broke in my bedroom, and I'm not replacing it. So, I started reading a little in bed, like I used to do. That in itself is centering and I relish it. I'm reading "The Hobbit," and loving it.
The notion of obsession...oh boy, I could write a book on that. Every time I go to the grocery store, I walk past the creme puffs, cheetos, etc., and say 'no no no' but after awhile I get crabby. I think that in order to have done this diet for 15 months, I had to be obsessive, to form the habits. Now, the long term goal is to temper the obsession with a calm knowing, if that makes sense. If I have to stress with every choice I make, that is not sustaining, and I'll build up a bank of frustration that will burst out in a bad choice. My goal is to develop a loving, joyful but knowledgeable way of choosing everyday, every thing I put in my mouth and do. Maybe keeping the bigger picture in mind will help, the why's of health and future. And that is not to say I won't enjoy my cheetos, but I am determined to do it in a conscious, controlled way, whether it's by only buying the little lunch-sized bags or what. I do want to fully enjoy those things, and not live on gruel, but without the out-of-control attitude I had before.
Well now I'm rambling and I need to get up! Have a great day!!!