Oh, the GUILT!!!! I'm really close to my mother, and she sent me a very nice package for Easter that I received tonight. It included a really beautiful porcelain bunny .... and the standard candy . I'm thinking great, I just re-dedicated myself... but I think I can pace this out. And share it. I think my night-class mates will appreciate it on thursday!

But... the guilt is about the fact that chocolate does NOT ship well to Arizona this time of year. A lot of things were wrapped in foil, so no big deal, just a little deformed. But then there was this plastic bag with a pretty yellow bow... and inside of it? Stuck to the sides? brown, melted chocolate goo.... one dead chocolate bunny.

Actually, it was pretty funny. I called my mom to tell her I received the package and thank her and have a giggle about the melted chocolate.

But here's the kicker - i felt GUILTY to throw it out. Seriously, what was I supposed to do? take a knife to open the plastic and lick the melted chocolate off?? Why do i feel so awful about this? I still feel like an ungrateful crud.

Iris We attach meaning to food. The food itself is just that - food. The Easter package was a symbol of how much your mom loves you and that she is thinking of you.

I'm sure she doesn't expect you to lick melted bunny off plastic. You have the porcelain bunny to look and remind yourself of how much your mom cares about you.

This post is starting to remind me of Lucy in the Peanuts cartoons .

Dagmar

. . . with my whine .

I watched TV with DH last night and mindlessly ate a bunch of sugar covered rice cakes that he had bought. It was like eating sweetened styrofoam but I kept putting them in my mouth.

I'm stuck right now and don't have the energy to break out of this winter-induced rut. I should be focussing on the positive things to come in spring and summer.

I keep telling myself that I have time to lose the weight before shorts season. I thought I was past that kind of mind set.

I want to move forward but I can't right now. It's getting really frustrating .

There, I'm done ranting. If anyone has any extra positive energy please send it my way. I'll send it back when you need it.

Dagmar (we need a sulking smiley)

Dagmar-- I hear your frustration!!
I'm sending some positive thoughts up north-- do you see them?!?! You can have them....

Do you have an event or something upcoming that you want to look good for? Perhaps you need to set yourself a good old-fashioned goal and work towards achieving it? Or some sort of reward you will give yourself if you lose some weight? That always works for me-- I love the rewards!!

Hi everyone,

Book club was a lot of fun yesterday. Watching the movie with 8 other women was really funny. I was pretty bored by all the staring at each other/teen angst/throw in the vampire thing and probably would have turned it off if I was by myself, but my friends and I kept up a thoroughly entertaining commentary (fueled by their Bloody Mary consumption - get it, Bloody Mary). Plus my friend hosting lives in a duplex and since her male owner/landlord next door has a really big screen TV, she gave him the book, and told him he had to read it since we would be watching the movie at his place. So we had a token male to contribute to our commentary. Very entertaining.

Dagmar, I'm sending you good vibes! When I'm having trouble sticking with my food or exercise plans, or having trouble making a plan, I literally pull out a calendar and write down my plan for the next week. If it's food, I go through all my recipes etc. and try to do the prep work on a free evening, or Saturday or Sunday for at least a week. If it's exercise, I go through my workouts printed out from all over the place, or old Oxygen mags, and plan out a week (depending on what body parts I'm focusing on, or cardio, etc. it will vary). Having everything planned out and written out for me helps me to focus until I actually feel more inspired... maybe planning ahead could help you? I also try to change it up - try new foods, new exercise routines, walking outside instead of at the gym, whatever, to keep things exciting.

Iris, ditto what Dagmar said. You shouldn't feel guilty at all! Focus on the sentiment behind the basket, not the food itself. It can be hard with family to realize that food does not equate love, believe me I know.

Lily, the dogs sound very sweet! I can understand your frustration about the baby shower gifts too. Celebrations shouldn't be a way to "mine" your family & friends for expensive gifts, especially since most people are at least somewhat aware of the financial situations of those family & friends. At least put a range of costs of gifts on your registry, you know? I had to tell two friends yesterday that I couldn't afford to contribute as much as they wanted to get a 4th friend's birthday present - more this year than last year, more than the year before, etc. etc. The gift $ keeps creeping up but my salary hasn't changed!

Pat, how nice to hear good financial news (especially with the economy this way)!

Michele, I'm sorry to hear the biopsy was so difficult. Here's hoping it will be resolved with limited pain and the outcome will be positive.

Shanna, enjoy the sun!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

Dagmar - think about how great you are going to look in those cute pink sandals you got! Now, pair them in your mid with a cute skirt and a snappy little top. Now, snap out of that rut and work towards that cute outfit! Here are some positive vibes...

Iris - my mom does the same thing with the Easter basket each year. Last year she left it in the car while we were at my grandparents and I didn't have the heart to tell her that everything melted! Feel no guilt over discarding melted candy. Or, over giving away good candy. It was a sweet gesture from your mom, and now you have the pretty bunny to keep.

Lily - I've been roped into hosting showers before, it is never a lot of fun that way... Wow, four babies in five years and she didn't still have a crib?

Shelia - did we miss your birthday? Oh no! Happy birthday!

Pat - tax refund, way cool! We owe money to federal but are getting back from state so almost break even.

Megan - sounds like fun last night! I'm not thrilled with the "Twilight" books so far, but I bet the commentary would have made it pretty entertaining!

Michele - hope you are feeling better this morning!

I had a great OP day yesterday. First POP day in over a month - no extra snacks or anything. Woo hoo! Hope to make today a good day, too. We also got the treadmill put together last night - DH gave up his baseball and basketball watching last night to put it together. I think there were other games on tonight that he wanted to see more than the ones last night.

It is snowing at this moment outside my office window...

Michele, I hope your biopsy results are good. Please let us know what is happening.

Good morning everyone!

Michele~hoping today is less painful for you and I hope they got enough for a proper biopsy (and of course, I hope the results of the biopsy are negative).

Megan~my DH is currently reading the series. My in-laws and son also read them, but DH is taking his own sweet time. He hasn't really said if he likes the books or not but we all went to the movie and it certainly wasn't anywhere near as good as the book (but few are).

Sheila~happy birthday!!! It was nice of your son to ask you out.

Dagmar~I wish I had some advice for you, but I feel like I'm stuck in a similar situation. Not so much with my DH bringing home snacks, but my eating what I bring home--and far too much of it, too.

On a good note, DS has been hesitant about retaking his black belt test in Karate. We told him he needs to make and appointment and talk to the Sensi himself. DH asked him last night if he made the appointment, but DS said he's decided to try harder this time and take the test! We're so proud of him. I think it will be easier for him this time as he won't be alone--there will be 1 to 3 other students testing at the same time.

Hi everyone, I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee now and it's quite delicious.

I learned that I can't trust my DH to ever shop a little for our house. He bought cheap dog food and toilet paper that feels like sandpaper. I've got to make a trip today to get more dog food cause Molly refuses to eat the cheap stuff. Plus, Lacy said she'd just as soon chip off some tree bark as to use that toilet paper, LOL. Shane called it John Wayne toilet paper cause "it doesn't take any crap off anybody". LOL.

I've been using my WW slider thing again and it's helping me to stay OP with my eating. I'd sure like to drop a few lbs. so my capris and shorts won't show any muffin top this summer.

Shannon , she doesn't still have any baby stuff cause she's been evicted from everywhere she's ever lived and each time she just took clothes and left all the baby stuff.

I did finally put my foot down though the other night. She asked me what gifts I'm buying for each of her kids for Easter. I told her that I can't afford it and that she needed to buy their Easter baskets. I am hosting the Easter egg hunt and providing all the candy and eggs for the kids already.

I think it's really twisted thinking that she told me "My kids will never do without anything cause they have you and dad". With my own kids I always thought "my kids will never do without anything cause they have ME". I never expected others to provide for my children!

Lacy passed her driving test yesterday. She drove herself to school today for the first time! Shelbey drove herself too. Now with 2 teen drivers , I shouldn't need to leave the house so often to get stuff, LOL.

Hi, I've gotten behind on my reading and replying.

It's beautiful outside again today - sunny and warm. But rain will be back tomorrow. I have munchies today, counting down the minutes until lunch. I should go outside and take a walk before lunch.

Lily, I loved it when the kids finally got their driver's licenses - made it so much easier! I got a while for the little ones though. lol!

Shannon, good job on your POP day. Did you get to use your treadmill? Sorry that it's snowing!

Megan, the book club movie sounds like fun! "Commentary" always helps, lol!

My mom called while I was typing this and now it's almost lunchtime. Woohoo! Maybe I'll go for a quick walk?

____________
Shanna



A bit of my weight loss history and a few pictures

Haha, lily, I love the john wayne TP comment!

And Megan, bloody marys for twilight... nice touch. I haven't seen the movie but I heard from other people as well that it wasn't very good.

Thanks to everyone for the understanding thoughts on the melted bunny. My roommate was NOT as helpful... this morning she said "WHAT?? you threw it out??!? Why didn't you stick it in the freezer and peel off the plastic? You could have still eaten it!" Easily said for the size 0 who walks around eating M&Ms!

Allison, I hope your son does well on his karate test.

Dagmar, I'm sharing with you the positive energy vibes I am attempting to channel for myself!

Iris - Ooo... tell your roomate that chocolate is never as good after it melts and then cools back down. It gets that white film on it and always seems grainy. Or at least that is what I tell myself when I throw out old and melted chocolate.

Shanna - didn't get to use the treadmill last night, it was 9:45 by the time we got it assembled and I was ready for bed... Got up and did some yoga this morning and am planning on using it tonight.

Lily - that sounds a little like the different dynamic between myself and my brother. I never had the habit of going to my parents for anything, my brother on the other hand will go to my parents when he wants things that he and his wife can't (or his wife won't, rather) afford. A couple of years ago Dad bought motorcycles for himself and my brother so they could ride them together. Read: my SIL put her foot down and wouldn't spend the money, bro somehow convinced dad it was a bonding thing and dad wanted to make up for lost time when he worked all the time when my brother was young... Glad you put your foot down on the Easter gifts...

Allison - good luck to DS on his retest!

I forgot to add earlier that this morning I got up and did an hour of yoga, yesterday got up and did an hour of strength training on the Weider. Two days of getting up to exercise down, how many more to make it a habit again?

Iris, it's weird what we can feel guilty about, isn't it? When my DD was living in the Virgin Islands, I sent her Valentine's Day chocolate, not even thinking about what it would end up like when it got there. I recently saw a thing on the Food Network about a chocolate place in New Mexico that puts the same kind of coating around their chocolate as the cheese people put on wheels of cheese. The coating makes the chocolate okay to ship to warmer states. Don't tell your mother, though.

Dagmar, I feel your pain. I'm going through the exact thing. It's frustrating. I'll send good energy your way, you can send good energy my way and maybe we can break out of this.

Michele, got any good ideas for rewards?

Megan, sounds like you had a great time. I like a book club with movies and refreshments. Good ideas for getting out of a rut. I know I really need a new workout routine--will have to check out some magazines at the library for inspiration.

Shannon, kudos for the POP day!

Allison, thanks for the birthday wishes. That's great that your son decided to retake the test. When's he doing it?

Lily, congrats to your DD on passing her driving test--I think. It's always nice that kids can start driving themselves places, but scary for parents. Sounds like SD has a bad case of "gimmes."

Shanna, we must be in the same weather pattern. Beautiful here today, but turning colder tomorrow, maybe some rain. But I know your spring flowers and flowering trees are further along than ours are. Spring was my favorite time in Seattle just because of all the blooming flowers.

Iris, does your roomie eat the cheese paper from a hamburger, too?

Had an exhausting day at the animal shelter--the kind that makes me question if I should keep doing the Tuesday evaluations. The pitbulls were at the end of the day again. Nice dogs, but so strong that they pull me every which way trying to get out of the kennels. And they have tails like whips. I end up with bruises on my legs from wagging tails. Started the day with two Shih Tzus that were so cute and a Jack Russell terrier that looked like a sausage on legs. I'd like to see if the people who turn these chubby dogs in are chubby themselves. I don't think I've ever seen a fat Jack Russell before and can't figure out how such an energetic dog could get that way.

Have a good Wednesday, everyone!

Sheila-- yes, I have good ideas for rewards!
I have done everything from a massage to a manicure or pedicure, to a new item of clothing. I have also done new books or anything else new that I've been eyeing but need an excuse to buy.

Since I've been maintaining (well since last August anyway-- I've been maintaining over a year), I have a pandora bracelet that I buy a new charm for each month that I am at or under my goal. I told myself that if I weigh on the first of the month over my goal, I will not only not get a new charm, but I will take it off and not wear it for the month. I haven't been over goal yet and I love choosing the new charms. I wear the bracelet all the time and it is an anchor to remind me of what I am doing and why.

Sheila to you.

Michele great idea with the bracelet.

Lily men and shopping .

I'm starting to look at the people in my life in terms of their energy (more Cesar Millan stuff) - positive or negative. Everyone has both - bad and good days - but we generally tend toward one state.

I'm kinda weird in that I'm really positive when I'm with the dogs during the day. It's when I come home that all the negative stuff comes out. It may be through fatigue or anxiety - I'll have to monitor it to see.

I've been writing down everything I eat. Maybe it's time to start writing down how I feel instead.

Today will be a hard day because my car broke down yesterday. I'm going to try to see it as being a day to get through to the nice long weekend that I have off - positive - instead of grumbling about it all day - negative.

Have a great hump day all! The long weekend is coming!!!

Dagmar