Hi, Ellen! Glad to have you join us! I started on a Tuesday, too, and for the same reason you did - Monday as a start day is awful!

And good morning to all of you, girls!

Gina - I read your LJ. Also, I just want to reassure you that on Day 8 (which is where I am now), you will get some ideas and strategies to help you be able to make time for fulfilling your needs during this process of learning to live healthier. Over the past year or so that I've been married (second marriage), my husband and I have worked out a system of who does what around the house. I have had several meltdowns as a direct result of having to do everything and not having enough "me time" while he sat around on his butt watching me clean up after him, etc. After sitting him down and explaining to him that I was resentful for being the workhorse, we talked it out and came up with some good solutions so that the workload of the house is distributed fairly and more efficiently.

One of the most valuable lessons I took with me after a Cinderella-like childhood, a horrible first marriage and the years of independent singledom thereafter is that I am nobody's slave - and I am much better at recognizing when people do take me for granted. I'm sure you are appreciated in your household, very much so - but for your own sanity, it may be worth it to delegate some responsibilities so you can make the time you're going to need. You'll see what I'm talking about when you get to Day 8.

Woo, boy, that was rambly, wasn't it? Sorry about that.

Anyway - today's a good day. I feel terrific, like for the first time in my life I'm really and truly finding control when it comes to my attitudes toward food. Food's no longer the enemy now.

How's everyone else doing? What days are you on? Bean, did you have any luck finding the book?

Walkthelab - as to the diet plans I've chosen, my first choice is old-fashioned calorie-counting, and although my second choice WAS South Beach, I'm giving consideration to Weight Watchers, mostly because Weight Watchers also focuses much more on calories and much less on good foods/bad foods. I don't think there's such a thing as a "bad food," but rather we need to learn the skill of making smart choices.

OK, girls, lots to do today, so I'd better get to it - have a terrific day, everyone! I will try to check back in later.

I am getting more and more and more excited. I keep looking at my notecards and book - blank and brand new. This reminds me of the "First Day of School" feeling Actually having a start date in the future was one of the things that helped me quit smoking. That was super successful (4 years ago), so this makes a lot of sense to me.

So, here is what I did: I started a new community on Live Journal: Beck_Chicks. I have sent Suz and Gina an invitation to join. If you are interested, sign up for a LJ account and then join the community. I figured this way we could post what we wanted each other to see, and not broadcast to the whole world or other "friends". I know I do this with my MS communities as most of my friends (real and virtual) are not interested in hearing about detailed disease issues and I am not totally comfortable sharing my diet and weight loss issues with the world. Hey, I know we will bring up a lot of emotion and life changing patterns will develop. I can chose to share the results with my friends, but may not want them to see the process - warts and all. We need to be free to post only to our "Coaches" and not the guy who you met at a conference who wants to share writing ideas, right?

Suz, it is great that you are finding control!! The Beck Diet Solution has really opened my eyes. You have to read my journal for today. I found something at the core and never knew that it has to do with self praise, or more importantly, lack of self praise.

Suz, you are so right!! I am glad you have things worked out with your husband. It is so easy for me to be resentful. I think this has brought up some suppressed feelings for me that I am not sure of how to handle. My husband and I own a successful business. He is very dedicated to the degree that he could be a work-a-holic. He appears to feel that because I work 30 hours doing our accounting and secretarial work that it is only fair that I am the one who should pick up the slack. I really am not sure if he is wrong, he probably isn't. The thing is that no one likes doing housework and if given the choice I would put in more hours at work too. But I know that no one else is going to do it so I just buck up and get it done. That doesn't mean that I don't feel resentful. If given the chance I would prefer owning a business and having him do all the mundane yukky stuff. Another feeling that is burbling at the surface is that my job is pretty boring. It can be ok and I can leave when I need to but, in general, it is thankless and doesn't really do anything that makes me feel worthwhile. I know that I am a piece of the puzzle and I also know that he appreciates what I do. I just silently feel resentful at times. I feel selfish for feeling like this because we have a really good life and it is because he works so hard. Anyway, I often suppress this but here it is today at the surface.

Ellen, I sent you a message on livejournal. So, does this mean that everything we say is private now?? I would like that!!

http://schaug.livejournal.com/1635.html

Suz, great solution on the cookies!!

Gina

Ellen - fantastic idea! I have signed up for the community. The addition of a Beck Diet Solution community may also attract others who are in the same boat we are... which is terrific! And I am very excited for you to start the program... can't wait to hear what you think of it!

Gina - - sometimes it is so hard to strike a balance, and I know what you mean about feeling that resentment lurking in your mind. I wonder, have you talked to your DH about it? Would he be understanding of how you feel? Might he be willing to share some of the non-secretarial responsibilities of the job with you and pick up some of the mundanities so that you can feel more challenged, less bored and, more importantly, less resentful for sort of having the "workhorse" role dropped in your lap? It's not healthy to keep your hurt feelings repressed, and that kind of hurt can really build up over years and years and come to a head. Keep in mind that this advice is free (and worth exactly what you pay for it! ) but we all know now how important a role self-esteem plays in our journey towards a healthy weight. Just remember to love your husband - of course! - but don't let your love for your husband overshadow your own needs.

How's everyone else doing? Check in if you get a chance, please! I'd love to hear how everyone's making out with their tasks...

Hey! Now you all REALLY have to take a look at my journal from yesterday. I am really pleased with my breakthrough but that isn't the reason that I want you to take a look. I want you to take a look because of the comments. Make sure to take a look at the comments!!

Gina

http://schaug.livejournal.com/1635.html

Yes, I saw that! She commented on mine, too, last week, and I was so jazzed about that! It's nice to know that Dr. Beck's got her ear to the ground and is paying attention to the feedback on her plan. It's nice to see someone with a face and a name who will stand behind what they write.

How's everyone doing today? I am eating my lunch at the moment... sloooowwwwly, of course. I'm finding that it's becoming a habit. Yesterday, I didn't have my iPod with me for dinner, but I still ate WAY slower than DH did. By the time he was done with dinner, I had only eaten about half of mine. What a difference!

I think I've sold my Dad on TBDS, as well... I had a long chat with him last night, and he expressed so many of the same things that we have gone through... he was a South Beach guy, and he lost a lot only to gain back the weight, and he tends to give up when he gets derailed, etc. I think I'm going to buy him a copy of the book. I know that his lack of success isn't because of any lack of desire to lose weight; I think he just doesn't (yet!) have the skills that we are all learning from the program.

I'm so glad that we're all putting in the hard work on this and seeing it through... It's wonderful to know I'm in good company.

I agree Suz! I think it is great that your Dad is going to get the book!! I want to share it with anyone.

Before I started the journal I read all of your journals and comments and saw that Judith Beck commented on your journal. I thought that was so impressive and now I just feel so special.

I know that you are right about DH and I and that I need to make some changes. It is just really hard to ask him to do any more because his plate is really full. He really is a work-a-holic (or atleast I think so) and he is always adding more and more to our workload. He is swamped and so am I. I know that it is a strange comment from someone who says she is bored--I just sometimes don't like my job. If we don't have a lot of customers I get a little lonely in my office. So, now that you have that information what do you think? My hands are a bit tied. There are several things going through my head. One one hand I can see that he is so so busy. One the other hand he is making choices. He is constantly complicating things by adding more and more but I know he can't turn down a financial opportunity. So, I guess I know I have a good life and need to push a little extra hard to keep up. I don't know. It is just so hard sometimes.

Day 5 for me. Slowing down?? WOW. I haven't done my journal yet but I just couldn't eat a slow breakfast and did eat slow for lunch.

Gina

Gina and Suz - please go cross-post your journals to the beck_chicks community. I plan on only posting my Beck stuff there. Also, it would be nice to have everything in one place so we can review what those before us have learned and see the comments. I hope to learn from your lessons so I can make totally different mistakes (oops, I mean learning opportunities).

I'll post my specific comments to your journals there.

Gina - I am sorry about your cousin, but glad you walked in the MS Walk. 17 is tough. I was just dx last year at 46, but I knew about 6 months before, when I had my attack. I am doing really well now. My biggest issues are fatigue, balance and a buzzing in my right toes. Compared to others I know, I am more inconvieneced that disabled, and I do realize how lucky I am. Thanks for asking

Hi! I have the Beck Diet Solution book and plan to start tomorrow. I would like to join in the discussion here.

I have never used Live journal before, but I did start one today. How do I join the beck_chicks community? Here is the link to my new journal. My Livejournal

Hey Jude - I sent you an invite tojoin the community on LJ. Welcome to the fold.

hey guys, i ordered the book from amazon yesterday and it should be coming on tuesday!! i cant wait but i have finals until thursday and friday is my only day off cuz i have work on saturday so i am gonna sit down and read the entire book!!! oh man im so excited, i feel like its my birthday

Hi Jude and Bean. Welcome!! I think it is really imporatant to do all of the assignments. Even the ones that you feel don't apply--so far those have been surpisingly more meaningful that I thought. I can't wait to read all of your posts!

Gina

Ooh, I joined the Beck_chicks livejournal too. signupsuzy (my LJ) patiently awaits to start posting.

I realized that I am waiting for my volumetrics book to arrive. I completely spaced on the order. Now I have my second diet or third. I have to admit that I hit a short spell of not reading daily. Time to get back on track and I know this group will help me along!