kateful - I know what you mean, everyone is self conscious of their body to think or worry of anybody elses. Yet I still wonder whether there are some people who just call themselves 'fat' for attention of gaining compliments on them being too thin to be fat, and belittle others bigger than them.
lillybelle - If your son's ex-gf sees you now, she will be the one feeling like the big pig.
Louise, unfortunately this just happened a couple months ago and I was at this same wt. then. I used to listen to her constantly say "if I ever weigh 120 lbs., I'm going on a diet, I just hate being so fat". I actually think she was just looking for compliments and the reassurance that she was "skinny".
If anyone every poked my belly I don't think I would have as much control as you guys seem to. That is absolutely rude and disgusting and disrespectful.
And I absolutely HATE it when thin people complain how fat they are. Besides everything else it is extremely rude and disrespectful and HIGHLY insensitive to the heavier people who are surely around them.
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And I absolutely HATE it when thin people complain how fat they are. Besides everything else it is extremely rude and disrespectful and HIGHLY insensitive to the heavier people who are surely around them.
While I understand your perspective, I think calling "thin" people rude, disrespecful and insensitive is a little....well...insensitive.
I'm sure for some people, I might have qualified as "thin people" at 180. Now, at 165, I might qualify even more as "thim people". However, I can assure you that I do have plenty of fat that needs to go. In fact, I'm still 20 pounds of fat overweight, at least.
Because someone may be more sick than I am, does that mean I'm not sick? If someone is more broke than I am, am I not broke? To someone who is 360, maybe you shouldn't complain about your weight or health issues because they have more.
While I understand your perspective, I think calling "thin" people rude, disrespecful and insensitive is a little....well...insensitive.
I'm sure for some people, I might have qualified as "thin people" at 180. Now, at 165, I might qualify even more as "thim people". However, I can assure you that I do have plenty of fat that needs to go. In fact, I'm still 20 pounds of fat overweight, at least.
Because someone may be more sick than I am, does that mean I'm not sick? If someone is more broke than I am, am I not broke? To someone who is 360, maybe you shouldn't complain about your weight or health issues because they have more.
I certainly do not think that all "thin" people are rude and insensitive, not even close. I do think that it is rude to poke someones belly. I think thin people, fat people, medium people and all people should be more aware of what they are saying around other people, myself included. Why offend someone? Why make somebody feel bad? Isn't it better to err on the side of caution? Isn't it better to make people feel good and happy?
And by the way kateful, point well taken about the "if someone is more sick than i does that not mean that I too am sick etc., etc." I hear you and you definitely have a point.
Reading this thread has made me take a good long hard look at my lifetime weight. I am now 43. I was a "chubby" child. I didn't lose my "baby fat" until I was in 7th grade; 12 years old. When I was 18, in college, & weighed 115, and was lifting weights & swimming a lot (I was a lifeguard, had to keep strong & in shape).... I didn't think I was "all that". In fact, I kept trying to get below 110. I considered myself HUGE at 121 pounds (when I graduated hi school) because I had managed to stay 103-108 throughout high school.
I am 165 now. I have had adult weights of 126, 132, 148, 130, 152, 128, 165, 138, and my highest was 178 about 6 years ago. No matter WHAT I've weighed, I always FELT FAT. I think it was ingrained in me from childhood. My brother - always tall & slim, made fun of me when we were kids. The usual brother-sister stuff, "Fatso, fatso 2by4, can't get through the bathroom door!" I remember in 5th grade, my mom always gave me 50cents for a treat at recess. I always bought two Nestle crunch bars. I have a pic my best friend took of me standing at the playground entrance, with a Nestle bar in each hand. I was indeed, a chubby little girl.
Not that I didn't eat healthy! - contrare! - my mother fed us well. I have always been a "fast" eater. I practically inhale my food. Still! to this day! - it is a VERY DIFFICULT struggle for me to eat slowly!
I have lived with myself all my life. I know what my habits are, and how hard it is to break them, and psychologically why I'm having such a difficult time. I was pretty much taught from birth that "fat girls" don't get husbands. They aren't smart. They are disgusting. They won't get a decent job. Etc, etc. And altho I KNOW in my heart those things are NOT true! - they are still little voices in my head, that just WON'T SHUT THE **** UP.
Therefore I know, anytime anyone - whether it's someone I know, someone I work with, a family member, a perfect stanger, whoever - says something "offensive" to me regarding weight, 9 out 10 times, it's not because they were being offensive, but because it is in my nature to take their words offensively.
I certainly do not think that all "thin" people are rude and insensitive, not even close. I do think that it is rude to poke someones belly. I think thin people, fat people, medium people and all people should be more aware of what they are saying around other people, myself included. Why offend someone? Why make somebody feel bad? Isn't it better to err on the side of caution? Isn't it better to make people feel good and happy?
Someone would draw back a nub, as they say, if I ever received a "belly poke", so I agree with you completely on that.
Regarding offending someone--that's a tough one. I can offend someone, these days, by talking about decorating my Christmas tree, you know. I think I agree with the prior poster that we all ought to evaluate the intent of the person speaking more than our reaction to what they said. Just because I was offended doesn't mean you were being offensive. If someone said, (as someone once did say to me), "Wow! You've put on some weight." I think both the reaction and the statement align in the offensive/offended category. However, if someone says, "Man, I've got to do something about this weight. I feel like a cow," I should assume she's not really saying that she thinks I'm a cow.
I was just thinking, my husband is overweight - he's 5ft 8in and 225 lbs., nowhere near as overweight as me and I have heard many people tell him he has to lose weight with me standing right by his side. And you know I thought that was doubly insensitive of them #1 for even mentioning it in the first place and #2 for mentioning it in front of his clearly heavier wife.
I don't know why I just stuck that in there, but anyway Beachpatrol's got a point and I agree and kateful you also have a point with easily offending people with Christmas and stuff. Is it that we women are too sensitive, none of this stuff bothers my husband, why do we take things so personally and let things hurt us so easily?
I think women are naturally more sensitive than men. And, in general, men listen to & operate on the exact words spoken, whereas women, in general, tend to read between the lines & even input a few of their own words!
I'm not all that sensitive to others' harsh remarks, no matter how thoughtless or cruel. Because pretty much all in all, whatever someone has said is something I've already thought about myself. The person who has the most power to hurt me IS ME. I'm so hard on myself. I look in the mirror and just HATE to see the jiggle. I can't STAND the cellulite, it makes me SICK to glance at a reflection of myself in a store window (those windows make you look extra chubby ANYWAY!) and when I get all down on myself & over eat or eat something "bad" instead of making a good healthy choice. I get SO ANGRY when I realize I've lost the weight only to gain it back again.... that's when those voices in my head attack me. And they all sound like my voice!!! So I know .... it's me. And again, that's something I have to work on.
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I remember in 5th grade, my mom always gave me 50cents for a treat at recess. I always bought two Nestle crunch bars. I have a pic my best friend took of me standing at the playground entrance, with a Nestle bar in each hand. I was indeed, a chubby little girl.
