Good afternoon, all.
I have decided to pay really close attention, and thus have pulled out my journal! I'm writing the time, some sort of blurb about my emotional state, and then if I chose to eat something. Then I'm also writing how I feel
after I eat, physically and emotionally. I figure, if I never learned when to stop eating, I've got to pay attention for awhile and see if I can learn it now. For example,this is what I have for today so far:
"8:15: Tired. Kinda groggy. Not really hungry, but hollow. Will have tea + milk + sugar.
9:00--Had a whole pot with 7 sugars and about 4/5 of a creamer of milk. Tummy feels sloshy--kinda queasy.
10:00--Krak
[a local coffee shop]. Bought chocolate macaroons. Not hungry so I didn't eat them, but wanted to have them.
11:00--Looking at houses with April. Still a bit sloshy, but more toward hollow now.
12:30--I WANT to feel hungry. Still feel hollow. Is that a
precursor of hungry, or is that how my body
does hungry?
1:15--Did some grocery shopping, now headed home. No growling but I'm intensely aware of food and my stomach right now. Tummy hurts.
2:00--Ate a cucumber sandwich and a drink. Tummy still hurts but maybe not as much."
I plan to just take little notes like this and see what consistencies and awarenesses I can build. I was very interested by the fact that when I was driving home from seeing houses (12:30) I was thinking that I would go to Souplantation for lunch. I started to ask myself if I was hungry, started to tell myself that I could eat whatever I wanted, all that sort of patter. I wasn't terribly hungry (I didn't think--like I said, I'm learning!) and decided I would pick up some groceries that we needed and then see if I was more hungry later.
I was reviewing the groceries we needed in my head and the thought of a cucumber sandwich popped to mind, and suddenly THAT was what I wanted. A lot. I tried a bit to steer myself back toward Souplantation (I'll admit that part of me was thinking, "there's more food there!!") but really I wanted a cucumber sandwich. So I went to the store, got what I needed, came home and ate my sandwich. I was perfectly content, too. Hmm.
I will also admit that all of the education I have in the direction of "healthy eating" and "fitness eating" and such things is going nuts in my head. Thoughts are bouncing around like caffeinated monkeys on trampolines!

I've only had tea with sugar and milk and a cucumber sandwich today. How many hours have I been up? How big is my body? How many calories do I need? How long has it been between meals (such as they are)? What about vegetables? Protein? Am I eating enough?

I'm trying to ignore it all and make decisions based entirely off of what my body is telling me.
We'll see where it goes!
Hope everyone else is doing wonderfully today, hope you all check in!