Heh people. How are you all? Glad to see some posting going on. We've been losing a bit of momentum here.

NBK -- I wish you wouldn't translate your posts. I love not understanding things. Then I go look it up on the Net and learn something. Really adds color I think. I mean usually you can figure it out more or less anyhow. This is how I feel talking with Americans now, being culturally ******ed, at least pop American culture. Your weekend sounds too nice to comment on. I am insanely jealous. Sunny walks up rivers and swimming in them too. I'm freezing here. Hands are cracked and hurt all the time. I am sick of having to swathe myself in scarves, put on thermal underwear and just be weighed down under all these clothes! So, pigging out on bananas, huh? Funny, how that isn't usually the case with me. I wish I liked bananas. Used to as a little girl but my parents practically forcefed them to me and I grew to hate them. Now, I can't eat them.

KJK -- good to hear from you again. Don't fret over 1.5 lbs. At least you have a clear reason for it. Weight loss takes vigilance. We've become comfortable with routines, patterns, habits and breaking them is what makes for change, here, weight loss. It will take time. I struggle so much. A little slip and I'm back hovering at this weight. It seems all I do is lose, slip, hover, lose, slip, hover. Don't try too hard to get motivated. You have to coax it out sometime but just pretending to go away. Try to just maintain. And that's a big "just." Like grasshopper said, we all grow through these slumps, but if you can at least treat it like a pitstop, a little time out without leaping back up to where you were, doing what you always did, then you'll still be ahead in the long run. And also, it doesn't necessarily mean you've gained. It could have just been a high number day. How do you feel? Do you feel any better? Heh, heard about the football game. Bummer, the Steelers lost. I assume you were rooting for them?!?! Who won the other game?

Stormy -- thanks for the reminder to cut things up. I don't like carrots but can eat them. Don't think I would look forward to them though. Apples I could do. In fact, I bought a big bag of apples for just that purpose. Am going to try to always have one on hand, or already cut up in case I can't cut it up outside. I don't mind eating them whole but if I'm in the city it's kind of a major faux pas here. Besides, it's a bit messy. OK, I'm going to think of what veggies I do like and get them and cut them up. Celery, thinly sliced carrot sticks, ok, cucumbers. I will do this. I am going to break through this slump. I am sick of being stuck, stuck, stuck. How 'bout you storm, what are you going to do this week so you can see a minus on that scale come Sunday? Hope that knee gets better quick. Glad to hear it's a bit better. Can you swim? That would be ok for it. Good for you for doing well with the eating! And I want to hear you went to the gym!

Crime girl -- Sorry to hear the weight has jumped. Please try to get back on track. We really need you. Don't focus on the weight. Focus on your eating. I know you're really busy now and that makes it tough. You're concentrating on studying and you, if you're like me, want that time to just faze out and relax and that time is probably coupled with eating. Try to uncouple it. Hot baths, walking the dog. I'm with stormy in thinking you shouldn't postpone your challenge with kjk. You're both great for each other now because you seem to be going through similar things, a bit of a slump, a bit of lost motivation, though perhaps for different reasons. You can always revise your challenge, make it a bit easier for you because that may still be hard enough. But, whatever, you do, just stay here with us, ok?!! So, how much did you gain? I think you should tell us. I think so many people run off and hide the first minute things aren't going glowingly. What for, that's what this place is for. If we were all a bunch of constant success stories, always up, always gung-ho, we wouldn't BE here! Think of it as rehabilitation. You had a fall. Ok, back up and at 'em. Heh, you don't have to run. You can crawl. But at least go through the motions. Speaking of such, where is Jacque!?

Oh and heh, I'm totally with you on the half naked dreams. My dreams would be material for Letters to Penthouse.

ug - high guys. I've been up since 3:30. Can't blame BF this time. Well sort of can - I was FREEZING last night so the sweetheart turned the heat up and now it's hot as **** in here! But that's not the real reason - I didn't eat well yesterday and my whole torso aches. Also didn't drink enough water. I guess my idea of easing into cheating went a little further ahead than i thought it did. I am going to just have to tell Grandma that I can eat stuff, just in moderation - severe moderation. I can't feel like this the whole time I'm there either.

NBK - didn't you go throug this....eating healthy for a long time and then eating junk and WOW you're body isn't ready for it! I confess I had 1 (I promise it was 1) regular taco at taco bell yesterday....I sat in the drive through line thinking "oh my god! I'm eating fast food!! After watching that awful movie - I'm eating fast food!!!!" I had a water with it too.

Crime girl - with your schedule I am really proud of the progress you've made with your weight issues. How you manage to be in school and to read or post anywhere other than school related places is completely beyond me!! So don't sweat the weight - you're on a good path. Keep going! You may take two steps forward and one back but at that rate you're still moving forward!!!! You can and will get there! And we'll all be here cheering for you ! As for being brave after your wreck..brave has many faces. Just going through rehab is brave...plenty of people don't. Seaking treatment is brave...plenty of people give up and going back to school - even though you were made to and had a sort of emotional body guard - is brave! Most people don't feel brave while being so! I think you WERE brave. You were also young and scared. I'm glad you're doing so well now and I'm glad you're brother is doing well too. I agree with you - my little brother got the short end too.

okay guys I'm going to lie down and try to sleep for a bit. Long LONG LOOOONNNNGGG day coming up!

Heh guys. Just in from a reception. I wasn't going to go but then did. Of course, I ate and drank but not much. The ice cream sandwich on the way home didn't help or the chocolate. God, the alcohol just has me letting out the stops. Oh well. At least I went. I almost didn't. Was tired and still have tons of work to do, now with less time to do it in. But I met so many people I know and may have got lines to work so it wasn't a wasted night. It was the racing awards for last year, horse of the year, top sprinter, that kind of thing. There was a buffet party after the award ceremony. Really, I had decided not to go, then with just barely enough time to get there on time I decided, no, **** I'll go. I felt so fat and clothes were tight, on top of being the same old outfit I wear but I thought, oh, who cares, just go, give em all the big smile they seem to like and work the place, so I did and I'm glad I went. Gotta get out there and live, not just sit around waiting to look good. I take my cue from all the guys. God, some of them look horrendous and yet they're out there. So, I'm going to go, looking horrendous or not (which I don't) and the just try to get better for next time. The important thing is showing up they say.

Grasshopper -- I sure hope you feel better. Did you get some sleep finally? I agree with what you said to Crime g. too. So sweet.

Ok, goodnight people. Hope to hear from you all tomorrow morning.

Red I'm rushing out the door for work - I saw your post.

Sleep well!! I'm glad you went - I hope it DOES give you lots of good work leads!! Talk to you tomorrow

HI everyone!

Today will be a better day. We all have ups and downs in our lives and on the scales. There will always be an excuse for us-like I'll start again at a better time. However, we must face the fact that there will always be tough times. Therefore, let's all reaffirm our goals today. We can do this!!! We will do this!!!

I am going to lose twenty to thirty more pounds by summer!
I am going to continue working out six days a week!
I am going to make proper food choices throughout the week and allow myself to cheat once a week and not feel bad about it!

Alright, I want to hear from everyone. Even those who are just lurking around. I read somewhere that Jan 24th is the most depressing day of the year. One of the reasons is that people start not keeping their resolutions. Let's do this!!! Feeling sorry for ourselves will not do anything. In fact it sets you up for a self-fufilling prophecy to fail. We will not!

Okay- first off I want to say "thanks" to stormy because I think I needed to hear that and it got me motivated and fired up again about doing this. I am pausing for a moment to get on the scale because red is right- I need to share the good and the bad ( I think this might be the ugly though)...
Okay I am 287 and that is horrible but I did this to myself- my fault and I am human so I am getting back on board and I will get below 280 by Valentines Day if it kills me! So there- I want to be 230 or below for graduation on April 28th so I need to get my butt in gear.

Stormy- Great job getting motivated! I am glad you are still trying to do some exercise even though I am sure the knee is painful. Upper body is good until you heal. Get better soon!
As for school- I am somewhat caught up but that just means I am OKay for tomorrow's class. I have a huge reading week this week so that will keep me busy. I look at it this way- anything that distracts me from going to the fridge is a good thing.

little grasshopper- Thanks for the encouraging words. I think I took more than 1 step back but you are right- I can do this and the encouragement and support just get me more fired up about it. SO thanks!
Sorry you couldn't sleep- my bf does that too- turns the heat way up and then I sweat to death. I hade to get up this morning and adjust it back down to a normal tempature. It is actually cold for here- 27 degrees. I am so happy and I am going to go for a long walk in the cold later.

red balloon- I am so happy you went to your event. It feels good to get out and socialize sometimes. I am sure you looked great- I know when we are not 100 % like we would like to be it messes with our self perception but I would bet it was all in your mind.
Also thanks for the encouragement but you should read your own advice. You are not the exception to what you are saying. Give yourself some credit! You have done so well!

Your horoscope for today:
Your moons will align today providing a stress free day for you. Take advantage of your good fortune and get out there and enjoy life. Watch out for those that seek to sabatoge you. Rise above their intentions and embrace life. Your lucky color today is blue and your lucky numbers are 11 and 47.

Alright kids- I am going to restate my goals so Stormy does not send the dogs out after me..
I am going to exercise at least 20 minutes a day at least 5 days a week.
I will stay under 1200 calories.
I will drink at least 8 (.5 liter) bottles of water a day
I will try to maintain a positive attitude about weight loss

Okay well I need to go read for class-
Have a wonderful day everyone!!!

Kia Ora!

Well it is another beautiful day here today!! Luckily my bf didn't get a surf in this morning and came back to see if I needed a lift to work as I had fallen asleep with the radio blaring! he had to knock for 5 mins to get me to wake up!! EEEK I think I might have been very late for work this morning otherwise.. but i was still a little late and have missed a black-hole meeting..so the day is going great! lol. Last night we watched the Supersize Me movie. Personally I think he could have been more sensible, like not constantly eat double cheese/quarter pounders or drink coke as much as he did.. and also I believe, like LGH and I have found out, if you have a really healthy diet for even 2-4 weeks and then eat junk you feel like crap, so if he was living with a vegan and then goes on a McD's binge of course his body is going to react so badly! I'm not saying McD's is good for you.. but honestly a little scientific integrity wouldn't have gone astray! But still BF has decided to see how long he can go without McDs.. I know I can go without it easily when he's not here to talk me into it.. so I'll keep you posted!

Red - I'm really pleased to hear you made yourself go to the awards dinner anyway. And as for the "same old outfit" most men won't really notice, and the chicks that do, well you could probably beat them in a battle of wits, and in the end intelligence is far more interesting in the long run than rock hard thighs and flash clothes! Umm yeah bananas, I don't really rate them raw, but baked they are soooooooooo good. They are even better fried in a little butter, but that's just not on at the moment.

CG- Yay.. get back on the wagon! You can do it! I know you can.. Damn it. Just think of it as another class for school! You have to do homework and assignments (eating right and exercising). Maybe if you schedule exercise into your day like that, you might find it easier?? Tips: Ok... did you know that being cold when you sleep requires you to burn more calories?. Also if you drink your water ICY cold then you body has to work to warm it up before you can absorb it properly... so that means burn more calories.

LGH - taco bell, i've never tried that before. I like burritos that I make myself, in fact I generally have a small baggie with a two burrito serving size of chilli that I made myself in the freezer so I can make it at home when I get a craving! I put heaps of veges in the chili too - tomatoes, spinach, courgette, mushroom..as well as mince that i cook then drain and pat dry with paper towels and beans and some mexican type seasonings. Maybe you could try this instead? That way you get the cheat but still have control!

Stormy - Sorry to hear about your knee - do you have a brace for it? But I agree that swimming would be really good for you. Thanks for getting us all motivated today too!

my goals are:
To be under 70 kg by the end of April
To have a body fat below 30% by my 25th birthday in September
To be happy with my body and enjoy all the things it can do
To fit into a pair of NZ size 10 pants/skirt - it only has to be 1 thing and I don't care if it is a big size 10 lol... NZ10 = US 6 I think by the end of the year.

Alright lets do it girls!!!
have a great day
Tiff

Day One!
I got up early this morning and did 15 minutes with Maya and was sweating like a hooker in church when I got finished. So..good first start.

I am eating sensibly and counting calories again so it seems like a project more than a diet. (Thanks NBK- you are right- helps to look at it as a project)
Anyway- I going to take my dog on a walk at dusk and try to get in some more exercise.

Okay- just wanted to check in. Need to get back to the school work.
More later-

Good for you Crime girl!! That's the way! I'm so proud of you!

HA HA HA HA Hooker in church. CLassic

(better than my oh so classy sweating like a rapist)

Good morning. Had a bit of a hard time sleeping last night. Must have been the jasmine tea I drank before going to bed. It has green tea in it and I thought it may keep me awake and I think it did a bit. But, I'm OK. Buying that by the way was my save to end the night even though I was buying it along with that ice cream sandwich. I find that I'm usually just looking for a "taste experience" when I go into the convenience store and this (and barley tea and sparkling water) is one way of keeping the calories down in a great way!

Yes, I'm glad I got to the awards party last night. I really have to force myself to be more adventuresome in getting out and then once I'm out actually talk with people. You see, I'm basically a very shy person. People laugh when I say that which just makes me worry because they must think I'm very arrogant or cold if they don't think I'm shy. Yesterday,I was thinking of all the work I've been putting off and I had all these good reasons for NOT going but then I thought, look, this is a once a year thing. Just go, don't care so much about how you look. You're not the one getting the award. And the kicker was thinking that this is it, the moment will be gone, I'll have missed it, this day, this particular party will never be again and I'll be saying, no, I didn't go. That is what really got me out there.

You know, the other day on the train, in a similar thing, I heard a man talking on his cell phone. At first he was speaking Japanese and I thought he was Japanese, though he looked a little different. Then he started speaking another language and I couldn't recognize it. It was really cool sounding, and I was thinking all these things, it sounded like a lot of languages I'd heard but nothing just right. I was intrigued. I love foreign languages and here was one I couldn't pin down. Then I saw that he did indeed look Caucasian so I was wondering even more what it could be. I really wanted to know and was thinking I should ask him but you never talk to people in trains and I felt silly about it. He was still sitting there when I went to get off so I thought, well, this is my chance, either I ask or I will never know what that language was. So I asked and he was very nice and it turned out to be Spanish. I couldn't believe it. I took Spanish in high school, have heard a lot of Spanish but this sounded totally different from what I'd heard. He said it was Spain Spanish not South America so maybe that was it. Maybe some dialect. I have never liked Spanish but this made me want to learn it. Hmmm. Anyhow, the thing I'm saying here is it was that same feeling of, this is it, this is your chance, take it or lose it. It got me moving. A lot of times I am afraid of this thought and all the things in life I am procrastinating on. So much I make excuses for, so much. And the realization of this sends me deeper into hiding but I HAVE to get out or lose the chances. This is it. Not a rehearsal, as they say. And one of those things is getting this body I want and/or close to it and I'm just going to have to stop missing these opportunities, to be the way I want to be at this age, not somewhere down the line.

OK, over to you all.

grasshopper -- thanks for wishing me well. I will explain about the work leads. Please remind me. One is interesting but a bit involved.

stormy -- great to hear you reaffirming your goals. Yes, I heard about the 24th being the most depressing day. All day long yesterday I was thinking, I have to turn this around, I have to make this NOT a depressing day. The morning was ****, riding, my teacher giving me the same old ****, had me in tears walking back to the station, trying to get a guy to go out in the evening to discuss a possible column for the paper (and way to keep my hand in). He can never find time for me. . . That was all part of why I was bummed and didn't want to go to the awards. But I DID turn it around. Anyhow, what the **** are people doing making prophecies like this anyhow?!! I t shouldn't be allowed. There is too much negativity around anyhow. Makes me mad. You are so right, self-fulfilling is what it becomes. We must resist!

Crime girl -- to you for having the courage to tell us what the damage was. I wanted you to tell us because that's what happened to me the other week, when I had that 4-lb gain and before that, when I finally weighed myself after how many months. It was looking it in the face and telling others, owing up to reality that I think finally gave me the courage and the guts to do something about it, at least, stop the slide into oblivion. And, it's not "horrible." It just IS. That's all. You will have that weight knocked off in no time. Picture it. Feel it. See yourself resisting temptation and enjoying a walk with your dog, being tired from school and looking for a "treat" and then saying, I think I'll have some herbal tea or I think I'll just turn in early. And then see yourself stepping on that scale and having it read, not just 280, but 278! and it'll be before Valentine's Day even!

Thanks for the horoscope. Wow, even lucky numbers! Maybe I should get to the racetrack today. Thank you for writing that for me. It's like a little present in the morning. I am looking forward to it. And when I read it, because it is positive I start thinking of ways to make it happen. And when, for example, you say "take advantage of your good fortune" I think, hmm. what IS my good fortune and I come up with things that I consider my good fortune and it really sets me on a positive track for the day.

As for your remaining positive about weight loss, I think you may have hit on something with stormy's suggestion to consider this a project. You seem very project oriented, well-organized, goal-oriented with your studies and so but it looks like, as we all tend to do, the weight loss is so tied up with emotions and feelings about YOU as a person. Yes, why don't you try to take the emotion out of it, kind of look at this as something separate from you, an assignment from school, truly a project and nothing more. You would surely succeed at doing that, just something to do, just like homework. Hmm. I will try to do the same.

NBK -- good for you too for restating your goals. I will have to think of mine again! Don't try taco bell if you haven't. Fast food joints are nothing you have to give a try to! Do they have them in NZ anyhow? By the way, what does "Kia Ora!" mean?

Hi everyone - lots of motivation today! Yeah!!! I had a LONG DAY! I'm much better now but I had a cheap glass of wine last night (and I do mean CHEAP) I shouldn't have done that....I was throwing up and getting sick from 3:30 this a.m. to 7:00 and then I was still having horrible cramps! My body REALLY doesn't like unhealthy foods anymore! I had the doctor pull my stomach down (when you eat bad foods or get really stressed out your stomach will actually "climb" up under your ribs). After he pulled it down I was fine - I had one more cramp and then it was all over. I didn't ask him to do this until 3:00 this afternoon though, dohhhh!!! At any rate here's what I've eaten today....a TON of water - trying to dilute the stuff in my liver and such.....some sunflower seeds and a few bites of pear. Some london broil and a bite of energy bar. I'm feeling pretty good now though.

Here are my goals....I have short term ones because of vacation with Grandma..

1. to walk every day I'm away
2. to eat 1-2 salads every day and have rice cereal for breakfast daily
3. to stay clear of sugar
4 to drink TONS of water
5. to stay AWAY from the scale while I'm away - these vacations are few and wonderful, I can't let scales get in the way of my happy mood.

Here are my post vacation goals...

1. To cheap on ONE food a week at most
2. To Exericse 6 days a week.
3. to attend yoga and pilates classes regularly
4. To focus on tall, lean and flexible me
5. To only get on the scale once a week - And get below 130..somewhere.

Red,

Firstly Kia Ora means hello or how's it going in Maori, which is the 2nd language of NZ. I don't speak it fluently, although the small town next to mine has a really large maori population so you go to the dairy there (7/11) and hear kids talking to each other in te Reo (the maori language). But it's amazing how much of it is in every day NZ speech or slang. It's a pretty cool language actually!

Secondly, here in NZ we have pizza hut, Macca's (MCD's), KFC, Burger King, Wendy and I have seen dominoes pizzas, as well as pizza haven (aussie/nz brand) and a couple of others. we only have 2 mcd's, 1 bk, 1 kfc, 1 pizza hut and 1 pizza haven in my town, so for 40 000 people that's not too much! but then in NZ our traditional fast food is fish 'n chips! hmmm crab sticks or battered pieces of gurnard freshly fried with lemon wedges.. oh yeah... droool.. he he. but no taco bell. I suppose because we don't have a large latino/hispanic population here.

It was interesting about what you said to the guy on the train. I hate it how if you want to tell someone they look great, or ask them what they are eating/drinking or you know you notice a stranger doing something cool, you can't say anything without seeming like a total weirdo! lol.. happens to me all the time

It was interesting what you said about spanish spanish, as my father lived in spain for a few years and went back there last year. He speaks very fluent spanish. Anyway he taught me a few phrases for when I went to barcelona the year before last.. well before I went I made friends with a couple of people who speak south american spanish and they totally didn't understand me at all.. but when I was in barcelona it was sweet. i like spanish too! It's a really pretty language.

Also the whole taste sensation thing, I totally understand, That's what leads me to most of my snacking.. I try to be smart and have stuff like bubblegum/chewing gum or little boiled sweets with me.. that tends to do it, and 1 lollie is a lot less damage than an eskimo pie! (ice cream sandwich.. hmmm oh so good!!)

Well off for lunch with my boy!
Haere ra (good bye)
Tiffany

LGH- great goals.. how did the doctor pull your stomach down??

NBK - yeah, I guess that does sound wierd huh The doctor starts along your ribs...at the bottom of them, in the front. He goes up under there and digs in - doesn't hurt - and pulls downward, while you breath out. He does this is stages all the way around your lower ribs....then he goes right to the bottom of your sternun (breast plate) and digs in...and then drags his fingers down your stomach. It sounds awful but it's not bad. It takes a few times before the stomach with move but when it does you'll feel it girgle or you'll burp or something like that. You'll know it moved...and you feel better then too.

I had no idea there was more than one language in NZ! I'm getting so much culture on this site