pjkdreamer , 09-21-2003 09:29 PM
for points
for points for points.
from us all. Wonderful job Julie. Congratulations!
for points and I have gained weight so I have to kick butt this week before going to Chicago. I must be having PMS munchies because this weekend was horrible and I am usually not that bad. It is raining today so can't go outside but am going to do glider work and work on my menus big time and get a grocery list started for them.
for points. I have to tell you Sandy, that I would be down on Jack like white on rice for messing up the house when I was gone. I think you just need to tell him, "Listen, I am your WIFE not your housekeeper, your butler or maid. Since you seem to think of me that way, I am going to 1) take money out of the checking account every week to pay myself for cleaning up your pigsty messes to the tune of a $100 and 2) Either eating out or fixing something to eat for only myself. (if possible feed yourself and the kids early and have it cleaned up). YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN BUDDY! I thought we had discussed this and come to an understanding and that you had respect for me, but obviously you don't and were not serious, but I am." I would absolutely refuse to do anything for him, cook, clean, laundry and see how long he can take it. Even slobs have to eat and need clothes once in awhile. It will be hard for you I know, but sometimes you have to lower the boom and I think you are well past that. I "trained" Jack not to leave stuff around and one of the ways I did it was by letting him have one room where he could keep it anyway he wished. Is that possible in your house? If it is, I would let him have it and insist nothing comes outside those doors into the other part of the house. Jack still leaves his shoes on the floor in the living room and doesn't fold up his "after work sweats" but other than that he is wonderful and I think it is because he has his own personal areas where he doesn't have to answer to anyone. If possible, get him a tv for in there and tell him that he needs to watch it in there if he is going to slob it up. That doesn't mean he is not responsible for household chores. Sandy, do you work during the day outside the home? I know that I shouldered almost all the household responsibilities when I didn't work. Like I said it is all about negotiation and if he is renigging on it, get tough with him. I have been able to get him to help with cooking a lot, cleaning up after meals, carrying up the laundry basket and a lot of times he puts the stuff away. One thing Sandy that I would try is to give him the opportunity to CHOOSE a couple chores to help you out. Who knows, he may hate to take out trash and not mind dishes. Just hang tough though, that is the hardest part. Especially for me because I am OCD and to leave something lying around was agony for me! pjkdreamer , 09-22-2003 10:29 AM
for yesterday
you just your sweet self together and get back in the game. I think 1500 sounds reasonable so try it for a couple weeks and see what happens. 
happy dance dot , 09-22-2003 01:38 PM
. Eventually, I also got him to help me cook on Saturdays until he would cook on his own sometimes on Saturdays. Basically, we formed a routine which consisted of cleaning, cooking, then watching a movie while we ate dinner and relaxing or maybe even playing a game. Now when he comes down to visit he cooks dinner for me. Maybe, if you form a routine with your husband that leads to a rewarding experience (whatever he likes to do) it will motivate him in one way or another. He may also not finding so "overwelming" if you two clean at the same time. Anyway, hope this helps you some how.
