Yesterday was good all things considered. I waited in my mom's room for the doctor to show up. Finally at 1130, I went to the hospital cafeteria & had some grilled vegetables and chicken tenders, from which I removed as much breading as possible. Per Murphy's Law, the doctor came while I was doing this, but eventually we connected. I was famished and soon after the late breakfast, ate 2 protein bars on the way home. Later ate 3 more protein packets & 6 shrimp. I spent the evening with friends and stuck to my water. I wanted to eat more of the shrimp but didn't.

Calories & carbs have been low enough to march into ketosis. Today is day 3, and usually by day 4 I can sense the shift in my body. It's been a stressful couple of days, but that provided a distraction from hunger. Plan is to spend the day with my mother in the hospital or bring her home. I'll pack up a supply of my food and ginger tea.

Hi Sundove! Thanks for your kind words about my mom. Time indeed has helped a lot. We march on.

Ohhh I so feel your stress and remember it well when my mom was in hospital. So much respect that you are eating healthy to cope! hee hee scraping off breading from chicken fingers. That’s commitment!

Isn’t ketosis awesome? It doesn’t get rid of all my cravings, but once sugar is out of my system... I experience way less hankering for sin foods. I’ll never be one of those people who can just have “one bite” of chocolate cake. I’m an all or nothing person, so it’s better for me to stay completely away from that nasty sugar substance.

Hoping things calm down a bit for you. Do you have family support to make decisions around your mom’s care?

Thanks IPN! Waving at you Hope all is well.

Hi Follena, So nice to read your encouraging words at the end of the day. Thank-you. I do have siblings who help, but they cherry-pick what they will do, and can't seem to get anything done without involving me. Whew, feels good to write that out loud. It is what it is. My mom is developing dementia and that adds a lot of stress and chaos, missed work. And an emotional roller coaster. We are fortunate to have caregivers, but they require so much supervision. Since yesterday, I have felt resentment creep in. It's a reminder that I need to set limits and take care of myself. It will alleviate once I am retired and not in such a perpetual time crunch. Onward!

Silver lining for me is stress took away my appetite. Normally I'd expect said appetite to return with a vengeance eventually, but by then, I'll be in ketosis. Ketosis is a vacation from cravings. I have learned the hard way that, once out of it, the cravings can return as if they never went away. It seems to be associated with calorie restriction. For me, it can be a tightrope walk to restrict enough to lose weight without triggering the binge response.

I'm like you re black & white. And I think sugar is toxic, literally. I plan to be an abstainer. I don't enjoy 'just one bite' of sweets, either. I require a limitless serving to be satisfied. There's no peace to be made with sugar! I do use a limited amount of stevia--mostly to sweeten my daily beverage so that I get my water in (dilute ginger tea). Eventually I would like to try a sweetener-free WOE.

Monday check in all food was eaten, plus an extra packet to keep calories over 1000. Chicken with salad and evoo dressing, broccoli. Drank most of the water. I can do better with water, sitting in a hospital room all day.

Today will be rinse and repeat diet-wise. My body already feels leaner, even though it's too early for even a water loss, let alone fat loss. But it feels like reconnecting with a long lost friend.

I've joined the lost-my-post club. Ate a few packets extra and some chicken soup, low carb low fat, that also was extra. Too tired to write more. I think that is why I didn't stay more closely to plan. Got my mom home from the hospital and happy to her so perky and glad to be home. I have several more trips this week. Spoke to diet coach and although i have been close to the plan, tomorrow is the official Day 1. Better get to bed and sleep.

Wed
Recommitting to my plan after a full night's sleep. Today is a regular day off work, and I have a breather.

Hi Sundove
I'm so glad you had a good night's sleep and mom came home from hospital. Today is official day 1 on an eating plan, is that right?

I quoted above post because there is just SO much I relate to. Siblings cherry picking what they'll do ... at least I was lucky my sister and I made medical care decisions together. My brothers live in other cities so when they breezed into town, it was all emotion.

That's very good resentment is a red flag to take care of YOU. Not everyone has that insight. I confess once I felt resentment against my two brothers (who argued to manage their emotions). I was less than charitable when I asked them to take their debate downstairs so I could sleep.

Dementia ... yeah that's a whole other level of stress. I'm glad there's one upside to that stress ... loss of appetite. I remember that when I went through a divorce 15 years ago.

...restrict enough to lose weight without triggering the binge response... THIS!!! I've been playing around with low carb healthy fat and Intermittent Fasting (IF) and have found the days I go a little too hard on IF are the days leading up to full blown binge mode. My body telling me um, please feed me. Most I can accomplish is 8:16, eat within an 8 hour window of 8-4 sorta thing. Means early supper and nothing after but water or tea. I use Stevia too.

Re-connecting with a long lost friend. Beautifully put. Should be a signature.

Wed
Hi Follena,
Yes, today is Day 1 even though I already started on my own 5 days ago. It feels different today. Since I joined this plan (in order to purchase the food), I'm jumping through the hoops of having a coach, getting measured & weighed, and cheered on. I'm ambivalent because the coach is not familiar with the binge response of ultra low calorie dieting. But I will walk the walk for now, in the interest of staying accountable. She is ok with some tweaks, and I told her I will only do it for 1 month.

Are you on a specific plan right now, Follena? Your stats look great to me. Your 8:16 sounds very doable. oh how I relate to going overboard with IF and ending up in binge mode. I wonder if that binge monster can ever be put back, once it's let out. Did you ever read Brain over Binge? I found it fascinating--a personal narrative of a young woman's eating disorder and how she figured out how to stop. It was eye-opening, although I did not try her method.
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I tried 8:16 and liked it, but I fell off the wagon in the long dark days of winter. I love IF for it's feeling of flexibility, and food tastes so good when you let yourself get good and hungry. Thanks for that reminder--I get anxious at the first hunger pangs, like I will faint or spontaneously combust. I need to remember that it is a good thing to get hungry. this Optavia (Medifast) diet is the opposite--6 small "fuelings". I lost well with this type of diet but it is not good for me in maintenance. The more I eat the more I want to eat, so generally i'm happier with 2-3 meals + maybe a snack.

Lol the cherry-picking siblings. We have a lot in common. I'm so glad your sister was there to help shoulder those responsibilities. Arguing to manage emotions is a whole new concept for me. That must have been difficult to be around. There can sure be arguing in my family, sometimes so thanks for that insight--I'll keep it in mind.

I had today to myself after lengthy follow up phone calls from the hospital. I'm glad they do this for patients. I attended a retirement health care workshop and got my workout with the trainer. I heard my phone ring in the middle of the abdominal exercise & could not focus enough to properly engage my abs. That takes a LOT of concentration as my abs are usually in low gear. Note to self: silence the phone next time. I'm happy to see the weights increase each week. It means I'm making progress.

Food was ok. The coach said to be strict about eating every 2.5-3hrs. I forgot to eat in the morning. Later in the day I forgot that I had just eaten and accidentally had another packet. I need to drink some more water.

All in all a low energy, low enthusiasm day. But a good chance to unwind, and catch up a little. I feel my diet commitment solidifying.

Sleep was erratic. I experience sleep disruption on very low carb. It seems to have kicked in already. Before, I experienced it for many months before I figured out the culprit and it didn't kill me. I think I'll be okay for the next few weeks while I get my weight loss kick-started. Being this overweight is a bigger threat to my health than temporary sleep disruption. I love naps. even in the evening. Cumulatively, I'll get my rest, despite what Fitbit says.

Coffee, shake, 6 more packets- chips, soup, bar, and a shake
tofu, cauli rice.
Varied off program a little but calories, carbs are on track. I'm at the point where my body is noticing that less food is coming in.

workout with trainer
water

Wintering birds that visit my feeder are leaving now. Any day now, the last Golden-crowned Sparrow will head for Alaska.

70 days until retirement. It's too slow and too fast. I want to savor every moment of time left with my co-workers. Thanks to social media, I get to stay in touch, but I'll miss the day to day face time with them. Good co-workers are sustaining, and I have been fortunate to have many.

Sat
A whopping 6hrs and 40 min of sleep. On the way to workout session, I got stuck in traffic and cancelled the appt last minute rather than keep the trainer waiting. I could feel my fatigue while sitting still. It was an exhausting day, not because of work but because of trying to on board the new caregiver remotely in between work assignments, and talk to home health, & medical equipmt company. Sibs are not helpful at all. Hunger was there too. I ended up eating a lot of things that were okay as far as carbs, but just too much. On my former big weight loss with similar plan, i remember a pattern of hunger catching up on Fridays and eating a lot of extra calories of protein. Maybe it's something my body needs. As long as I am right back on plan today, I'll be fine.

This morning I feel rested, but still overwhelmed. Driving again to my mothers to orient the new caregiver in person. I'm thankful thatshe seems very good. Then take my mother to get lab work. I'm dreading this, as she has extremely difficult veins to access. Then back home and hopefully a restful weekend.

70 days .. oh my goodness. I totally understand that mixed emotion of happy to leave work but not happy to leave friends/co-workers.

Lovely birds switching out for the season.

I get insomnia from low carb sometimes if I’m not putting enough healthy fat in my diet. It’s surprises me how tough it is to get enuf healthy fat! So sometimes I take a taplespoon of coconut or MCT oil. Sometimes even a tablespoon of butter.

And you’re working out with a trainer so maybe you need to up calories to match workouts? I can’t lift weights or do cardio without upping my daily calorie intake.

I hope appointment for your mom and on boarding the new caregiver went well and that you do have some rest this weekend. You so deserve it.

Thanks, Follena! Actually it's 68 days, please try to keep up

Did you find the healthy fat fixed your insomnia? Mine was only cured by carbs, go figure. I'll play with fats, once I get fully into ketosis.

I think you're right re muscle work. I don't think I ever really got by on less than 1100/day on average, counting cheating-on-chicken.

Thanks for the good thoughts. I'm unplugging tomorrow, will enjoy time with a friend, and watching the bird show.