I am new to this group. I have major depression with psychotic features and schizophrenic tendencies. I take 2 mood stabalizers, anti psychotic, anti depressant, and benzo. I am tired a lot and blame it on the meds. My weight seemed to blossom with each episode and new drug tried. I have had a hard time doing the things I used to. Losing weight is my top priority. I am 300lb and am afraid I am on the road of no return. I want to exercise because it releases those good endorphons! I look forward to talking with you and sharing support.

annsokos: to the group! I am glad that you posted. Sorry about your major depression, along with fatigue and weight gain due to meds. Most, if not all, of us can relate to that here, so you have come to the right place. I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey! We will be here to encourage you and cheer you on toward your goals! My advice on exercise would be to keep it simple and start small. Take a walk around the block. Once that becomes a habit, take a walk around 2 blocks. And then 3. And on and on. If you set your sights too high, you run the risk of getting overwhelmed and then crashing and burning out. Do it for YOURSELF, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

Fi: So sorry to hear that you have depression pain again. Sending you a BIG HUG and prayers that you feel better SOON! Think HAPPY thoughts, breathe deep, and do your best to relax!

Kathleen— I appreciate the prayers & the words of support, but you don't seem to understand severe depression. The deal with really bad depression is that you can't think happy thoughts. Your brain is incapable of doing so. I understand you are trying to be helpful, but please don't say that to me again.

Ann— Welcome to the Ups & Downs thread! Another thread you might consider joining is the 300+ Chat thread. If you go to the 300+ community, you'll find it listed as "300+ September Chat." We are a small and very supportive group, and every one of us really knows what it takes to go on a looooong journey of weight loss.

Fi: I am so sorry if I offended you. Not at all intended. Believe me, I have suffered through severe depression, so I do know what it feels like. Thankfully, for me, the very severe depression was years ago, though. If I try to put myself back in that place, I can remember that I, too, was incapable of "thinking happy thoughts." I did NOT realize that when you have depression pain, you are in that state of severe depression. For me, the severity was constant (and perhaps it is for you, too), but you seem so "with it" a lot of the time that I thought your depression came and went for you, and I didn't know that it was that type of severe depression. Anyway, lesson learned. Don't worry..... I won't say that to you again.

I;m back. I took a break for awhile due to some personal stuff. I lost almost 20 lbs in a month but gained a few back the last week or so. I need to get back to my diet.

Hadn't posted for a couple days. Wanted to update that I've been super busy with my employment workshops, interviewing, and computer training this week. I am still walking ALMOST everyday and am back to my original 10 lb loss as of today!!! Need to fit in logging in and posting a bit more regular. I feel really out of the loop with everyone. Thank you to those commenting positives on my journey!

Keep up the good fight everyone one day at a time

fool4fotos— It's nice to see you posting! I'm glad you're busy with employment-oriented things, and way to go on the walking and the 10 lb. weight loss!

Kathleen— We're cool: don't worry about it. I have windows of a few hours of better functioning, even when the greater part of the day I'm in severe depression. I usually post during those windows.

Trish— I'm SO glad to see you back! That's great you lost almost 20 lb in a month, but I hope that wasn't due to depression or anxiety. Keep up with the good work, and please keep posting, now that you're back...

I'm waiting now for Bob to get back from the farm. It will be nice to have someone else around to keep track of the kittens, because they can get pretty rambunctious during their high-activity periods and it's well-nigh impossible for me to always keep an eye on them when I'm in my worse depression (rating -3) periods. 'Been having way too many of those of late.

Hi everyone! Hope everyone has had a great week. Tomorrow is FRIDAY! I've had a good week.

I had a cavity fixed on Tuesday so lost out on my workout. Yesterday I went to cycling class for 30 minutes, was going to swim for another 30 but forgot my towel! Talk about a bummer! Today I stayed for the whole cycling class. It usually isn't anything about not being able to finish, just I usually don't like to work out for a long time earlier in the week because it will make me more tired and I miss out on time with my hubby. Today it worked out because he stayed later at work.

I came in good with my calories, a little over my goal of 1500, but I'm not too worried since I had a really great workout!


Ibelieveinme2- My job is going great! I really love it. Going to work and then going home with no need to think about it again until the next day. I love going to work and that is so nice.

Aryastart- I've told my husband to be stern to me and not let me eat anything except for my two mini reese cups. This keeps my sweet tooth in check! Besides that, if I get hungry, I just drink water and it seems to satisfy me.

Fiona- I think I can relate the dumpy feelings after something good has happened. Hope your kitties are doing well!

Emotionally, the past week and a half has been tough. News that should bring joy to me has brought sadness. My sister in law and her husband are expecting another baby. Their youngest is close to 1 year old. For those of you that don't know, my husband and I lost our first child, our daughter Isabelle Francis on 3-21-14. So this news was really hard for me. I'm trying my best to be happy and of course I am praying for the baby to remain healthy, but I'm just so sad... I want to try for another baby, but I'm definitely not emotionally ready. There are so many moments ahead that will be difficult, Thanksgiving, Christmas, her first birthday. It would be so much more difficult to go through those days while pregnant. Also, since I've just started my job, I don't have insurance until November 1st, so that's another barrier. Basically I feel stuck with no way to make it better. I've cried this week, which I haven't done much lately. I really want to see a therapist or get some type of counseling to help work through these issues, but since my insurance doesn't start until Nov 1 I'm in limbo of really wanting it, but not really being able to get it...

Well, that's it for me for now.

Thank you so much for the lovely welcome everyone. I am so glad today is Friday, after a summer of lie ins I am now back to the school routine and this week I am really feeling it. I am looking forward to taking it easy for the weekend. Last night wasn't great, I binged, I wasn't feeling bad, just a bit bored so I started playing Candy Crush and ate lots of rubbish. Note to self: do not turn on the computer at night, do something else!!!! But I've gone for a nice walk today so feeling a bit better.

Annsokos welcome, nice to see another newbie. We can do this, we're all in it together!!

Fool2fotos you are doing great, keep up the momentum.

FionaW I am sending hugs and positive vibes your way. I haven't got severe depression so I don't really understand how bad it can be. I find it hard to know what the right thing to say is, I know what comments help me but also am aware they may be totally unhelpful to someone else. I love cats and kittens especially but my husband hates them so we have dogs instead, I love them but they are hard work.

FleurdeLis I am so sorry for the loss of Isabelle Francis, I cannot imagine how hard that must be for a parent to go through. I can totally empathise with your feelings. Of course you are happy for them but its tinged with sadness as its a reminder of your own loss. I'm not too familiar with the way counselling services work in the States as we are very lucky to have a lot of voluntary groups that offer free support for all sorts of things. Is there any support group even online you can use? We're here xx

Trish (lilturtle): It is SO great to hear from you!!! CONGRATULATIONS on your 20 pound weight loss!!! How did you do it?

I ate next to nothing and I was very active. It wasn't healthy. The last week or so I have been eating a lot of junk. I had trouble doing my grocery order this month too. Nothing appealed to me and I got mostly junk food.

Still at -3 today. I had a few hours free of it in the morning. Bob and I used them to get caught up on the health issues of the kitties, make plans for going to the farm in the fall, and generally get back in synch with each other. Then the depression hit, and I had to stop talking. I'm still in it now. I'm posting because it's boring to be lying on the couch, depressed and nonfunctional, full of dark thoughts and painful feelings. Anyway...

Hi all, and welcome to our new folks!

I have been really inactive lately and I'm very sorry about that My life has been crazy lately, and I'm sorry I don't really have that much time to respond to everyone's personal posts. Know that I'm thinking about all of you, and I hope your lives and personal health journeys are well

Just so you all know why I might be a little hectic and sporadic checking in, I thought I'd give you an update.

I'm currently working between 55 and 65 hours every week, between both of my jobs. This week it was only 55, but 50 of them were at ONE job. I've been needed a lot more at the group home than was originally expected, and I'm going to be in overtime most weeks this month.

Part of the reason for that is because one of our graveyard staff fell and broke her hip She's going to be out for weeks, so I'm going to be working 3 graveyard and 2 swing shifts each week to cover her shifts. My first grave was last night, and I'm struggling with sleeping during the day, so I'm EXHAUSTED.

Also, on a more exciting note, I might be moving out of my mom's house soon! I'm meeting with a girl who needs her lease signed over right away so she can move back to Montana. It's super close to my main job, and the rent is barely more than I'm paying at home. Whatever extra I'm spending in rent and utilities, I'll make up for in gas. Moving out there in the next week or so (if it works out) is going to take up all of the free time that I'm not working or sleeping.

The only downside to all of this is that I have no eating schedule that makes a lick of sense, and I have no time for any kind of structured exercise, at least until things calm down a little and I'm getting more than 3 hours of sleep per day.

Didn't make my August 31st goal of 250, but I'm sitting around 251 right now, so I know I can get there soon.

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of for now!

Aryastark- This is my online support. As far as any support group I go to, there is a monthly child loss support group on the second tuesday of every month. I plan on going to it next week. My husband and I went to one shortly after our loss, but since the meetings are so far apart, we didn't keep going. I'm definitely in need of something right now though.

Today was a good day at work. It went quick and wasn't too busy. I went to cycling class after work. I was going to swim, but as usual, I always forget something. If I bring my towel I forget my swimsuit, if I bring my swim suit, I forget my towel! It's never ending! Class was good, I really worked up a sweat.

The instructor said there is a 2 hour class tomorrow morning. I think I'm going to go and see how long I can go. It would be a really great calorie burn and I could take a relaxing swim afterwards. I'm kinda looking forward to it!

My hubby is going to help my parents move tomorrow and I'm staying home to work on homework. We're going home for a visit next weekend so I'm going to try to get as much done as possible because I won't have any time next weekend.

Doing well on calorie counting and have had two crazy good workouts two days in a row this week. Feeling really good!