Greetings everyone!!

I'm a little bit bummed out. I can't see the doctor until NEXT week. You can't schedule appointments. The way it works at the clinic here is that the phone lines open at 6:00 am, and you hit redial until you get through, and hopefully you get seen that day, otherwise you get up early the next day and dial again. So i got up ultra early and dialed for 10 minutes, just to find out that the doctor is out until next week.

So now I guess I will be honest with you guys. No sense keeping it a secret if I'm going to continue posting here. I know how most of you feel about what I'm going to tell you because not too long ago, I felt the same way. I'm going to do what I thought I never would. I'm going to see the doctor about gastric bypass surgery. I meet all the requirements for the surgery so TriCare will pay for the whole thing. I have to see the doctor for tests and counseling before I make a final decision. Here's why I've chosen this path....

I have been doing this my entire life. Loosing and gaining. Everytime I gain it back, I gain a little more. Two years ago I decided to really evaluate my eating habits. I've made great strides in that department. I no longer sit down with a pint of Ben&Jerry's every night. We don't eat out anymore at fast food restaurants. I cook balanced meals. However, I am still fat.
Even though I eat better foods, and don't eat emotionally anymore, I still eat too much. I don't cope well with the hunger. I have to eat between 800 to 1200 calories a day to lose any weight because of my crummy metabolism. That leaves me constantly hungry. I can't deal with that. It affects everything I do or think. The only time I've successfully lost weight and maintained weight is with the use of ephedrine pills or other prescription appetite suppressants, all of which had such horrible side affects that eventually I had to give them up. As soon as I did, the weight began creeping back as well as my appetite. I feel like this is the tool I need to keep my appetite and eating under control. I'm not looking at this as a "quick fix". I know better. I know the risks involved too. But hey, by that same token, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. It's a risk I'm willing to take. I want control of this NOW!! I'm tired of failing and don't want to spend the rest of my life doing so. I want a life I can LIVE.
ARGH!! I really wanted to pour my heart out and make all sorts of valid points and explain my feelings, but my children have interrupted me about a dozen times and I've been typing this in bits and pieces over the last hour and a half, so it's not as clear as I would have liked it to be.
I just hope you understand.
I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.
I'll talk to you later,
Jen

Hey Chickies,

I've had a lot of inquires as to my specific weight loss plan so I just made a MAJOR entry in my online journal that lays it all out! The entry is something I'm working on (still going to have lots of revisions) for the webpage I'm planning on setting up (maybe later this month) chronicling my weight loss. So... check it out!

Jen... I have no negetive judgement about WLS. In fact, I support you in whatever decision you make. I think it's important to do what will make you happy and healthy in the long run! You know what's best for you! I think everyone who is slightly aware of weight loss issues knows that it's really not the easy way out; it takes so much committment to see it through and stay OP afterwards!

Sara

Hi!

JEN: I second Sara's motion. You do whatever you think is best for you. If your choice is WLS be sure you have an excellent Dr. I'm not brave enough to try it but I know folks who have, that have been happier and healthier for it. Good Luck. {hug}

SARA: YOur Journal is full of truths. You've "seen the light" and are generously sharing your knowledge with us. Thanks.

Wow Jen... I know where you are coming from.
That dilema.... to get the surgery or not.
I had a couple of my family members "Suggest" that it might be something I should do. Now, I not only had my own indecisions about it... but I felt like I was letting (some) of my family members down if I didn't. They obviously wanted me to.
I TRULY believe it was for concern for my health and not their shame of me that made them want me to consider it.

I cannot encourage you to do it... or ... ask you not to.
I still don't know my own opinions on the subject.
But I do know this.
It is not a single solution. It will help you lose that first 100lbs but after that... it is up to YOU to not eat, exercise, and change your life style.

I post on another support group site and there are MANY who have had the surgery. One has even had it twice. And not one of them reccommend it. Of course... they gained their weight back. Each and every one of them have health problems now due to their surgery. Plus, 1 in every 100 die. (I also know there are many who love it and have not gained.)


Even knowing those odds... "I too have considered it as a way out." My sister has two friends that had it... one is in a nursing home. She is only in her 40's. She has NEVER left the hospital since the day of her surgery. That was like 9+ months ago. She has lost her job, and the doctors say she may never recover.
The other has complications galore. You would think that would scare me away for life. But no... I still consider it.

I am not trying to scare you away from it. I am just saying.... even after knowing all these facts... I am still desperate enough to think about it. So you see..... I can not encourage you to do it.... nor can I tell you not to. But I will support you in what ever decision you make for yourself.

Gee.... I just am at a loss for the right words to say.
Just remember you will ALWAYS be welcomed here.
No matter if you are fat/ thin/ WW/ LC/ surgery/ whatever.
I will always have an open heart and mind to "your" choices for "your" life.

Hi Everyone!

Just thought I'd introduce myself and stop lurking! I found this site last week and I love it... very inspiring!

On May 29, I committed myself to losing weight. I'd had enough of wishing I'd started last year and decided that today was the day! Since then, I've lost 15 pounds!!! I'm super motivated to keep going until I weigh 150. It's gonna be a long haul but definitely worth it!

I'm 25 and got married in the fall of 2000. You can check it out at www.regnsara.com! We're both trying to get trim and healthly although I'm much stricker on my diet than he is... he just wants to work off all his juicy jumbo hot dogs at the gym!

I'm really looking forward to getting to know everyone! You guys seem so supportive and open!

Thanks,
Sara

In honor of my 300th post, I found a copy of my very first post to you chickies! That was me... at 15 pounds down! I was right; you guys were just the support I needed! Thanks so much!!!

Sara
Highest Weight: 270
Current Weight: 143

Oh, Sara...you are such an inspiration! It is an amazing accomplishment in and of itself, but your upbeat attitude and humor have made it seem like a piece of cake...low fat, of course!

Thank you for your continued love, suppost and inspiration!

Hi again everyone!!

Thanks for your input and support.

Believe me when I tell you I do not take this decision lightly. I've done my home work about this surgery. Not only that, but I've watched my own mother go through it, as well as my mother in law. My mother had many complications with hers and was sick for a year afterwards. I asked her the other day, if she could go back in time, would she do it again?? Even with the complications?? She said, "In a heartbeat." It's been almost 20 years since she had it done, and yes, she does still have to watch what she eats, and she did gain back about 20 pounds, but over the years she has maintained a 160 pound loss.
Now on the other side of that fence is my mother in law. She had hers almost 10 years ago shortly after my DH and I got married. A year later she was a size 5. However, she thought the surgery was a cure-all and that she didn't have to do anything to keep the weight off. Well, here she is 10 years later and 120 pounds heavier. She is ALWAYS snacking, never without food in her hand. Everyone in my family is HUGE!! My grandmother weighed over 400 pounds. One of my cousins is 380, another 280.
So many people that have the surgery have a bunch of weight related problems when they go in for the surgery. I want to do it before I have any more than I already do. I'm still fairly healthy.

I am scared to death to have this surgery.

I am also scared to see what happens if I don't.

I am continuously reading anything I can about it. Especially online journals and messages from people that have had it done recently, so I can get their take on it. I can tell you that the general consensus is this.... The first three months are ****. You will be naseated, tired, cranky, and despite the incredible weight loss, you will more than likely be depressed. Why? Because food has been your friend for all those years, and now you simply CAN'T have it. You feel "left out" at the dinner table. While everyone else eats their pork chop, you have Gerber Strained Carrots. You will miss your food. You will miss eating. HOWEVER, you have to hang in there. After those first few months, most patients are over the depression and are delighted in their weight loss. I see their attitudes change from "Oh my God, what have I done to myself" to "I am so happy to have my life back".

I also know I can't do this without support. I asked my DH what his feelings were. He is scared of me having surgery, but he knows that I am tormented by my weight. He says he loves me the way I am, no matter how much I weigh, but he wants ME to be happy. He will support my decision, and is prepared to take time off work to take care of the kids during my recovery. I ask him if he's sure he wants to deal with the "aftermath" of the surgery-depressed, cranky, tired,- and the smartass just said "You mean more than you are now?"
I guess he can handle it.
And I know I have your support too. Thanks everyone.
Geeezzzz! I've written a book. I guess I'll knock off for now. Gotta take my little one to preschool soon.
Talk at ya later,
Jen

Jen,
I'm sorry I did not answer your post the first time you asked what we all thought of having the surgery. I guess I did not answer because I just did not know what to say. I think it is your decision to make and no matter what we say you will in the end do what is right for you. It seems you have done a lot of homework on the subject and you have people close to you that have had it done. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope if you choose this path that it is the right one for you and all goes well. I know in the end I really didnt give you any advice, but I would hate to give the wrong advice, so, I just want you to know that I will be here to listen through it all!!! And hugs to you!!!

Good luck with your choice,
Sandy

Hello from the land of the sun...FINALLY!!!!!!! Like a dumbbell I am going to be going to where the temp is a brisk 11 degrees! UGH! Do I REALLY miss my son and friends that much!

Sandy: Honeeeee, my poor children are traumatized because of their clean nut mother! I cannot stand clutter either, not just something needing actual cleaning. Funny thing, other people's homes don't bother me. My daughter is definitely NOT the queen of clean and it is most likely because I was so meticulous about everything with them. Poor things, and I am not any better with their poor father. The only difference is he is stubborn and refuses to LEARN, so I just have to go behind him and straighten up!

Jen: Darling, I remember those awful clinic days. I have a daughter because I couldn't get through to the gyn clinic one time! As to the surgery, at Christmas time of last year, I had been communicating with folks that had the surgery because I was going to start the process the first of the year. My stubborn half talked me out of it because for ME, it would indicate failure on my part to control myself. I chose to try and get this weight off the old fashion way, work, work, work. I perfectly understand where you are coming from as I have a total of 220 lbs to lose and YOU MUST DO THIS BECAUSE IT IS WHAT YOU WANT AND NO ONE ELSE!!! You have to know that this group supports everyone in our group no matter what weight loss path they have chosen. You will be in our thoughts and prayers as you endeavor to make this very difficult decision. I think I can safely say though, that just be sure and be openminded about all the effects good and bad and that the one huge thing you HAVE to do is you must still change the way your mind sees food or I guarantee it will be for nothing!


Too all my wonderful friends here, I tip my hat to each one of you. You all have incredible courage and fortitude to continue with your struggle coming to grips with losing weight forever.

I need to go this morning. I have some work I need to get done.

Oh, by the way, I have now started resistance training 4 times a week to try and firm up at least some of my skin. Being my age and the length of time I have been obese, there is not a huge amount that can probably be done, but I need the strength anyway.

Donna
Sare: Thank you so much for sharing with us your first post. What an inspiration to us all.

Hey chick-a-dees! How is everyone this Tuesday? Me? Well I am taking this morning off! Yesterday was crazy, but I did manage to get some 'me' time in. I have jury duty this week, but have today off. Yesterday after I left, I went to the tanning bed. Its something I use to enjoy but I hadnt been in forever, so I've decided its time to do something for me. Another thing on my list is to get my hair cut and colored. I want to be a redhead! LoL.

Now let me tell you about my exercise yesterday. Before I went anywhere, I took a nice 15 min stroll through my house, I figured it wasnt much, but it kept me in the habit of moving. Then I went on to the court house. There is an upper and lower parking lot. The lower being down a hill. Well you guessed it, that was where I had to park, and walk all the way up an incline. Then got in through the doors and made it up 3 flights of stairs! I was killed, I thought I was going to have to call 911!! But I made it, and that is the important thing, and tomorrow, I'm going to do the same thing!

Sandy-For me to get back on the wagon you might should stop the horses!! LoL. I've just been struggling since last week, and now that my WI day is fast upon me, I'm scared. I know I have gained, but as Justin said I still need to go to see where I stand. He is such a wonderful supporter.

Tina- Oy! I can just feel the stress in your words. I wish there was something I could for you to make things better. Have you sat dh down and told him how you feel about the situation, that its just not working for you and maybe try to nudge him into hurrying. Keep us up to date on what is going on.

Donna- Your picture is beautiful. You have done great. We are going to do this girlfriend. We ALL are going to do this.

Wow, talk about out of it. I had forgotten to catch up on the 2nd page. So much is going on.

Jen- Here is my 2 cents, if its worth anything. I agree with everyone else. We all have our own paths to this main goal. We each have to decide what is right for us. We will be here to support you and listen no matter your decission.

Sara- I havent read your journal yet, but I'm about to do that right now. I cant wait to see what you have to say. I love reading your posts, and cant wait to see your journal.

Hey all....thought I would pop in and see how all my sweeties are doing today. I'm still stressed out with the car situation, but I am better. I do have to say though....I have been so hungry lately, I have wanted to eat the doorknobs off the doors!

I'm sure that it's just due to all the stress I've been under lately, but I will NOT give into it. Do you hear me? I will NOT give into it. I had to say OUT LOUD last night to myself as I was meandering around the kitchen looking for something to eat...
"No, Tina. The kitchen is closed." I turned out the light, left the kitchen and did not go back.

I did however do something else I am proud of this week. I ate one of the new thickburgers from Hardees along with some french fries. Now, you might ask..."Why in the heck are you proud of yourself for doing that?" Well, first of all, because I wanted it. So I had it. I didn't deny myself, and then eat everything in the kitchen trying to satisfy my craving and then still end up eating it. I didn't feel guilty. I didn't gripe at myself for spending all those points at one sitting. I didn't beat myself up for days. I simply did a little more exercise. I have been doing the three mile anyways, so I just upped it to it to four miles and VIOLA!

I'm sorry, I don't have time for individual replies today. I've been typing on this post forever even though it's not all that long. Chatty Cathy has been talking my ear off and I can't even complete a thought. I just want to stand up and scream, "SHUT UP!" Oh what I would do to have a muzzle right now.

I do want to say to Jen: Honey, this is your decision. Just make it carefully. I know there's no horror story I could tell you to change your mind. I know there's no success story that I could tell you to inspire you. The bottom line is, each and every person is different and surgery will affect each person differently. I know people that have had the surgery and it has been wonderful for them. I know people that have had the surgery that thought it was great at first and then gained all the weight back. I know people that have had the surgery...and have died. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. The most important thing to us is that your healthy and happy. As long as you're not looking at this as a quick fix. I know that things do happen quickly with it, but at the same time, you are still looking at a major lifestyle and eating change. No matter what you decide, we love you....no matter what. We just want you with us, that's all. We support you no matter what you decide, because that's what friends are for. Ok?

Now, I am really out of here...but I do have one more question.

Guess who's seeing Tony tomorrow?

Hey all...

I went back to WW today...having missed the last 3 weeks due to illness, snow, lack of sleep>(in that order!) Of course the night before I'm going back is when TOM rears it's ugly head! I am a full 3# heavier, on my scale, than I was yesterday! On the bright side, I am 5# down from the last time I was there, so I'm not sweating the gain, next week will be fabulous!

Some quick replies and I'm on my way to bed...

Jen, good luck with whatever decision you make. We are here to support you!

Silver...great job on the exercise! Keep it up!

Donna...your picture shows a definite change!

Tina...I don't even know WHAT to say about your situation! I don't think that I would be as understanding as you are though! Just know we're here anytime you need to vent!
*** you just posted the same time as I...I just had to say I am so impressed with your attitude towards the food and exercise...BY GEORGE, I THINK SHE'S GOT IT!

Sara...thanks for sharing your first post...you've come a long way, baby!

2cute...Geez, that's awful about your sister's friend...to be in a nursing home at any age has got to be traumatic, but in your 40s? My heart goes out to her.

Sandy... YOU TOO??

J-ann! How's your weather up there? We will be in the 50's tomorrow...thank GOD! It was 8 last night.

Well...that's all that posted on this thread, I know if I go back to read the previous one, I'll lose this, so to everyone else...please come out and play!

I have been doing great these past few weeks...I'm exercising at least every other day and staying relatively low-carb, food wise. I'm feeling very pleased with my efforts, and noticing some clothes are looser...I just deleted a comment about wishing the weight would come off faster...WRONG ATTITUDE! I'm (slowly) learning that if I just do what I know I'm supposed to be doing,
I WILL lose this weight!

Okay, enough outta me...this was supposed to be a short post!

Take care all, come out and post!

Hey, everybody!

I just had my lunch and am having my chocolate mousse for desset. ( a carton of chocolate fat free pudding and 2 tbl of fat free cool whip mixed together) It is really very good and only 115 cal and NO FAT! I don't worry about the sugar too much as I am not eating any sweets, (except those darn Mrs. Fields cookies last Friday!).

Tina: I am sure you are over the moon excited. All I can say is have fun honey! As to you other stuff, we are right here for you all the way. I am sure things will turn around for you real soon.

Kat: I like to take the pics once a month for my own encouragement. Like I have said a gazillion times before, I tend to leave the scale alone except once a month or so because I get more encouragement out of the clothes and visual changes.

Crystal: Oooh how I hate stairs. For me they are the biggest enemy and guess who lives in a two-story condo so I am up and down them all day! My right knee cannot take much so the stairs are really hard for me. I did do lower body resistance training today and will do my regular walk tonight after dh gets home and I can go to the mall.

Ok, guys, I need some help here. I need an exercise to help my turkey waddle since losing most of those multiple chins of mine and I also need a good butt exercise that is not out of my ability. So none of that horrendous butt stuff they have on those videos. I couldn't even get in the needed position. I am doing chest, abs and back resistance on upper and situps, leg lifts and leg stretches for inner thighs on lower, but need a neck and butt exercise (preferable one that would work for both! ) I also have a great exercise for your upper and lower arms that is really easy. A medical student on one of the other threads where I post suggested this. The method you use for CPR. You extend your arms, elbows straight and one hand on top of the other, then push down on a cushion or something that gives. She said she discovered this when she had to administer CPR for an hour and her arms the next day were killing her.

I need to go for now. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Donna **Late news flash!! The position I was interested in has been filled. They hired the girl 2 weeks ago and she starts Monday. I guess the other girl flunked her physical (drugs). I am perfectly ok with it. I am just going to keep working hard at getting the weight off!**

Tina I just had to laugh! The doorknobs?? LMAO! I hear you girlfriend!!

One of my customers brought me a coffee and a fruit and yogurt parfait from mc donalds today. He always brings me an egg mcmuffin but I told him I cant' eat that stuff anymore. So the coffee was fine! Let me tell you...that parfait was sooo good! I gotta go check out how many points that is!

Also, Kat..I am going back to WW tomorrow or thursday...depends on Andrew's appointment tomorrow! I can't stand myself...I feel my hiney following me around again! I hate buying clothes! I am mean when I weigh this much! Nasty!!

Anyways...one other thing before I bail out...(once again) I got my final grade in Business Law and I managed to pull a great big fat "C".....I was sure hoping for that C too! I know I got at least a B in my English Comp II class but haven't gotten the final grade yet!

Ok gotta go have some dinner! TTFN Michelle