Eliana, if it helps, my arms look a lot bigger while I am lifting and then calm down a little bit the rest of the time. I have to admit that I get a kick out of how muscular my arms look when I am lifting. (shhhh....don't tell anyone, but I wear sleevless shirts to the gym on purpose so I can admire my arms---oh, the shame! The shame! )

Anyway, I want you most of all to feel good about yourself, but I hope that you will just continue to be amazed by your fabulous body and accomplishments. You are such an inspiration and I think you look amazing.

I posted about the same issue on this forum about a week ago, and got pretty much the same reassurances - you're just not thin enough; it's really all bodyfat plumping up your muscles, and they look much bigger when you're flexing than when you haven't worked out for a while.

I'm here to say that, while those things are absolutely true (anything more than like 15% body fat will make you look bulkier than you actually are), it is also NOT JUST IN YOUR MIND that you may have built an uncomfortable amount of muscle for your own preference. And it is also true that you can build strength without adding as much size by choosing a weight you can lift for more repetitions, or by doing primarily body-weight-resistance (Pilates/Bosu) type training. I was doing the New Rules of Lifting for Women program 3x/week religiously, and, at ~23% body fat currently, had gotten an uncomfortably "bulked up" look to my arms. I decided to back off on the heavy weights to 2x/week for now, and added more High-intensity Interval training as well as Pilates to the mix. Until I get below 20% body fat, I think this will result in a - to me- much more pleasing upper body shape. And trust me, I am continuing to get stronger anyway - I just managed my first completely assistance-free pull up last week.

Good luck, and midwife is right- just look at how far you've come, and how well you're doing. Muscular arms are WAAAY easier to "undo" than weight gain!

neurodoc - I hope you don't feel your concerns were dismissed. I can definitely understand your concerns. I've been noticing somewhat lately that my arms look more prominent immediately after a workout but also know water retention can cause that.

I also think it is somewhat a shame that conflicting messages are put out about women and muscle. Muscle is sexy but then someone starts pointing to pictures of elite body builders and saying that lifting weights will end up with you looking like them. For some women, they might want that and I say more power to them. To the other women, I say you have to understand that those women have been lifting weights for years, sometimes taking 'supplements' which increase muscle mass and are heavily dehydrated to accentuate the muscle definition. It is true that women can build muscle but I don't think that is a bad thing. If you don't want to, then that is up to you. I don't think muscle showing on women is manly, I think it can be very feminine. And yes, muscle is hard to gain, easy to lose so scaling back on weight can cause atrophy. So if at any point, you want to lose muscle, it is easy to do so.

Overall, I wish there was more mainstream embracement of muscle on women. I think it is a shame that the idealized bodies tend to be those of waif like models with twigs for arms and legs. I think muscle is empowering, I think lifting is empowering and that is why I do it. I also recognize that other women may not feel the same way as I do. That is ok too.

How is toning a made up magazine word if it's in the Mosby's Medical Dictionary as a perfectly good word to use for describing muscle?
It's also in Webster's dictionary: normal tension or responsiveness to stimuli; specifically : muscular tonus

I frequent a predominantly male exercise forum and they use the word tone all the time to describe muscle. Why is it an issue on this forum??

ddc - 'tone' is somewhat of a dirty word because magazines tend to sell the theory that there is a difference between 'toning' and building muscle. So 'toning' is for women, 'build muscle' is for men when truly, there is no difference.

Yeah, that's how I've always heard it:

Horses sweat, men perspire, ladies glow.

Men build muscle, ladies tone.

ddc, I want the muscle in your avatar. That's the arm I'm going for! I DO want muscle, but I want a small arm too. When at rest I want small and when I'm working I want a nice large mound. I think muscle is very sexy.

I think I just need to be patient and wait and see what happens. While I don't feel any fat on the bicep I think there is some in the tricep. There's more to melt, I'm sure of it.

But dang, what an image in the mirror! I too wear sleeveless shirts at the gym so I can admire myself!! LOL!

Eliana - have you actually taken measurements? Mirrors are very deceiving.

Yep. Haven't lost an inch in a long, long time. But I have gone from 14 inches down to 12.5. It's just been 12.5 since April-ish.

It definitely sounds like you are transitioning and since you haven't gained any inches, that seems like a good sign, no? Even though yes I know you want to lose them.

Thanks Eliana
When I took that photo (in May, I think) I was probably still 26-ish% body fat, but I tend to store my fat in my lower body. I still have the stubborn underarm flab
At that time, I was following a dvd workout by Margaret Richard called Sculpture. It's a killer upper body workout. I don't care for the lower body section of the workout though. Anyway, I use 3 and 5 lbs dumbbells. And I would call it high reps. So, I don't know if you might want to go that route for awhile. Also Jari Love's dvds are low weight/high rep.
Oh, btw, I just measured my upper arm and it's 12" unflexed. So, really not much different than yours.

Good luck to you. You've made tremendous progress so far! Good job

Was JUST going to post a new thread on this 'til I stumbled across this thread...my thighs are freakin' HUGE and 2 weeks ago, I was almost back into my size 6 jeans very comfortably and this week, my thighs feel "swollen" and very tight fit (tighter than several lbs ago).

I tend to build muscle in my calves/thighs very easily, not so much in my arms. However, I do NOT aspire to have arms like Madonna or even worse, the new pictures of Cameron Diaz. For me personally, I don't think that would be attractive. I still want to look "soft" in a sleeveless dress.

I am giving Visual Impact for Women by Rusty Moore (founder of Black Book for Fitness) a go and leaving Jillian behind for a while.

He swears that women can bulk up to a degree that they are unhappy and it is not all that hard to do if you are doing the wrong exercises. It is obvious from the results thus far that squats and the elliptical are my enemy if bulking up is not what I want.

He also believes that lifting to failure (or even at 10 reps to failure) is another thing to not do, stop at the point that you become aware 5-10 more reps would be difficult.

He said cardio has gotten a bad rap over the last 6 yrs when it is exactly what a female needs (HIIT specifically) in her fitness routine. I will be doing this for several weeks, it's a 12 week program and let you know if I notice a difference.

Niecy, interesting. That almost goes against everything I have been doing. LOL! Since I started this thread, which was about how big my arms were, I can honestly say I am now quite proud of my arms. But I like a little roundness to them, as in GUNS! I think they're soft when they're relaxed, but boy can I pop a muscle! I've achieved my arms by lifting heavy, 6 reps up to 15 reps, and usually to failure.

As for cardio, yeah I agree. Cardio has gotten a bad rap and that makes me sad. I think cardio and lifting both have their place. Cardio has helped me possibly with weight loss but mostly with my BP, my HR and my heart health over all. I think I probably have a really strong heart. And all that translates to more endurance for daily activities like walking up and down a hill to sled with my kids, running Christmas decorations up and down stairs, hiking, dragging in groceries, etc.

I'm always interested in these threads, because I have "big arms" too. But here's the deal for me: as I lost weight, my skin shrunk much better in some places than in others. (I am 43.) The skin on my back, butt and legs is pretty good and tight, better than I expected! The skin on my belly -- well I don't remember who else brought it up around here. Let's just say in an upright position I look pretty good, but when I'm doing pushups OMG you don't want to know what kind of weird way it sags.

The skin on my arms shrunk to a certain extent and then stopped. Over periods of lifting and not lifting I came this conclusion: I can have upper arms that are 12" around and flop visibly when I gesture -- and I'm a teacher, so I gesture a lot, in front of lots of people -- or arms that are 12" around and don't flop because there are muscles inside. And I have decided to do the work for the not-floppy.

And the measurements really are the same -- I have a mole which is a handy marker for the tape. So something in there is "bulk" or "tone" or whatever you want to call it that is firm, not floppy.

I suppose if I had to categorize a look I am going for, it would be a dancers' body. Definitely not a ballet dancer, a little too lean for my liking, but like one of the "Dancing With the Stars" type physique.

If I didn't feel like such an idiot dancing alone in my living room, I would do it. I used to go to clubs back in my 20's and I have to say, it kept me very fit. So I have to deal with a treadmill at this point.

I do agree, lifting/strength training/resistance is a much needed component. I won't say any of us could ever begin looking extremely "manly", it would seem steroid usage or some other hormonal supplement would have to be in the picture for that, but I've used this term here before on another thread, I have such short legs that a good deal of muscle would in my eyes begin to make me look "squatty" or possibly even a little stout in the lower body. Should have realized to stay away from the squats!