Hey everyone, thanks for your comments on the buddy thing, and thanks Judy for making me feel so welcome! And I appreciate you commenting on my progress, I was feeling a little down from the gain last week, but I suppose it was only 0.4 and something not to get worked up about. I'm trying to stay really focused on getting the weight off, as I've never weighed my target, 160, since I was say... 10 years old. Coming from having a sister so thin and in the spotlight always tends to make me shy away.
I wanted to talk about last night. I just want to get some feedback on a couple things that are bothering me today.
Alright, so last night I was invited and tagged along to a party. I can't help that even being on the flex plan I need to go out and have some drinks, especially since I'm moving soon so I wanted to spend some time with friends. Well when I got to the party, whereas I'm usually very extroverted and outgoing, I showed up and there was a big crowd of people that I didn't know, being the first reason for me to shy, but the crowd was alot of young, skinny, beautiful girls and I felt so akward and uncomfortable in my own skin it was unfit. I just wanted to run away. And then I went to go to the bathroom, and there were two girls in there, and when one came out she mentioned I was waiting, and the other girl (fixing her makeup) looked at me and glared and slammed the door right in my face! Just because I wasn't part of her mini-hilton groupies. I felt like a huge ball of crap and skipped over the bathroom visit because I knew they were leaving to go to a bar soon and waited until then.
It was a total nightmare and these are the kind of things that really make me insecure and upset. After they left and it was just me and the guys, (I'm a total guys girl, hang out and have a few beer instead of drowning myself in foundation and lip gloss for the bar.) Anyways, once I got home I counted up my drinks, (1 beer, 2 rum and cokes, and 2 glasses of wine), which I went totally over *oops*, and binged a bit on turkey and mozzarella on english muffins. So that means I went way over, and I guess I'm realizing now that it was just an emotional eating thing, and I want to be able to not do that. But I find it very difficult to control because I just felt so in the dumps that I guess it kinda comforted me a little to be at home and away from everything else.
Well that's my rant, my "problem" eating habit, and how I felt last night. The type of thing I'd usually never tell anyone and try and forget it happened, but I think that telling someone on here might be able to help me push forward and teach me how to handle these situations. I also grew up being overweight and secluded all through school until college, so it's a habit I've had my whole life that's brought me to where I am today, and also contributes to the weight problem I have.
Thanks for reading this.




And as Rose said, today is a new day. Keep on going. Don't let one incident turn into many, many days. Get right back up & move on.
) But... never again. NEVER EVER again. I spent nearly $200 for this party... and I don't really think it was appreciated. Deep breath... and move on.




). Now it's getting better.
