Hmm well my first real boyfriend was when i was 19.
Personally, I'm glad I didn't have any kind of relationship while i was in highschool or anything because then I was just able to focus just on school. I didn't have to worry about So-and-So and who was saying what about whoever. I just worried about good grades and good friends.
My cousin (whom i'm very close to).. had her first boyfriend this year. She's 16. and to tell the truth, there is more drama there than in our college theater group.
I know at that age kids think they know everything. I know because I use to think I knew all about the world when I was 15. They may know alot and be in-tune with the real world, but they haven't matured. They may act mature, but mentally they haven't. I'm still growing and learning and i'm 22.
But on the other side, I think you and your husband are doing grand. I mean I wish my family was more accepting of my friends. my family hated everyone, even the girls @_@. the only time I got to spend time with people was at school. I think it's great that you would let the boy come over for dinner and hang out with your daughter and her family.
I think the key thing here is trust. If there is enough trust in the family, you and your husband shouldn't worry too much about her. i'm sure you've taught her what to look for in a boyfriend, what is acceptable and what isn't.
14 is a bit young. Too young to go on dates by themselves and all. I say, no dates till you learn to drive. If you're responsible enough to take a 1200 pound metal thing and move it around other people in metal things, then you are responsible enough to date. (my twisted logic ^_^ ) Set firm but fair rules. and remember, you're the parent.
My first true boyfriend I was 13. My parents trusted me, but the rule was no boys in the bedroom. He came over to my house, went to dances, I went to his house. I did lose my virginity to him, but because of an open relationship with my parents I was very careful about birth control and condoms. To this day we are still friends. I loved him very much. He moved away by the time I was 14.5.
When he moved back to town I was almost 16 and dating my Husband.
I did have boys that I called my boyfriends but we never saw each other except for at school, and never kissed or talked on the phone so I don't count them.
My first 'boyfriend' was when I was 10 - we held hands, went roller skating, and to the movies a couple of times(but always with my sisters and a few friends). We broke up because he liked my sister lol
My first real relationship was when I was 17 - I met my now fiancé. And yeah, we got pretty serious kind of fast, but we're still together (almost 8 years now).
My 1st boyfriend was when I was 16. We got too serious too soon. I wish my parents had interveened more but then again, there is always other places to go but if parents have a heavy involvement in their kids lives it makes a big difference, Sounds like your doing great with that, Lilly!
As for the pill, yes it does work great, I was on it from age 17 on up. I would just be sure she is aware of STD's, etc that the pill cannot prevent.
Mom.. this is Lacy. For some reason, I believe my account has been terminated. But I just wanted to tell you my response to this thread.
Bahahahahah. I found it now! I appreciate you taking an interest in my personal life and being a motherly figure and all.. but you NEVER told me I could baby-sit at our house. You told me I couldn't baby-sit for them at all. && I already told you.. HE DOESN'T LIVE WITH HIS MOM. Ughhh. See.. told you. You don't listen. && like I said, I'm not so sure I want him to come over anyways; despite Sam's (older sister) advice. && By the way, THIS IS HIM::
Maybe I'm the crazy one here, but I was not really into dating or having a boyfriend at all until my 20's, and even then I wasn't looking. It just happened. DH was my first boyfriend....although I had "crushes" as a little kid, but nothing serious...
I was pretty young, about 6th grade when i started going with boys. My first serious boyfriend was at 14 and we were together for over a year. I think the best thing you can do is get to know the people your kid is with. My parents were great in that everyone was always welcome to come to our house. Most of the time spent with boys was at my house with my folks home. Occasionally I did get myself into trouble, I think it's a natural part of being a teenager, whether we like it or not.
I will say this though - trust your instincts when it comes to the people your kid brings home. My parents loathed one of them, and never did anything about it, and he ended up abusing me, which made things very hard for me growing up and even into my marriage.
The main thing is to know your child, know their companions and trust your own instincts. Good luck!
I don't recall when I was actually out on dates...either 15 or 16, but I had a "boyfriend" at 13. Of course, we just played baseball together at my aunt's house...he was a friend of my cousins and we met by playing ball and ended up holding hands and doing the kissing thing. LOL But that was only place we saw each other. The relationship ended when we moved away and long-distance for kids that age just didn't pan out.
I think age appropriate activities are important at this age. When my DD was 13 they would have school dances that were very well monitored. I would drive her and all her friends there, boys and girls, pick them up at 11pm... When she had her first BF at 14 I didn't chaperone her to the show, come on now, how would you feel about that?? Your mom or dad at the show with you... I would drive them there and pick them up too. When she wanted to got to his place to play guitar or whatever I would call his parents up to make sure it was ok with them and that they would be home. I make sure that I know the kids she hangs around with and their parents... We have to learn to trust them or they will lie to us...
When she did have a BF that I was worried about sexual activity with, I asked her if she needed to be on the pill. She said NO!! I would ask her regularly. One time she said that it would be too awkward to ask ME to take her to the doctor's for the pill, my answer to this was, "Wouldn't it be MORE awkward to tell me you're pregnant?" To this she said "I guess you're right there" and we laughed about it... She's still not on the pill and I still ask her if she needs to be on it, even if she's not going out with him anymore...
DD and I are really close, she tells me things that I know I shouldn't know about her friends, but she swears me to secrecy, and I don't tell for fear of losing her trust...
Bottom line, you gotta trust her and keep the lines of communications open, or she'll clam up and never tell you anything and will start doing things behind your back...
My DD is 16 BTW...So I know what you're going through ...
LOL, I wish she had never found this site. Anyways, I spelled his name wrong. It is Aaron. She just informed me of this. I did re-explain tonite to her that she can babysit over here but not at his house. It's true he lives with his dad, not his mom, but they live across the street from each other. Still too close for me.
Lacy...your mom only looking out for your best interests...she just wants to be sure you're safe and don't get hurt. When you get older, you'll appreciate her for giving you boundaries. I sure wish MY parents had given me boundaries. I was glad to NOT have boundaries when I was 13, but man, would my life have turned out better, emotionally, if I'd had them.
Listen to your mom...she loves you very much!! Noone will ever love you more in your life than your mom.
PS...your boyfriend is cute. Just be smart about it all and everything will be okay...
Lacy, has such a great sense of humor. She laughed when she found out that I had posted on here about her and the BF. I did tell her that she could invite him over this weekend for popcorn and movies. His dad said that they have "a busy weekend planned" and would have to do it some other time. Lacy thinks Aaron is so shy that it would be uncomfortable for him to meet us. She says they have never kissed or held hands even. I believe her, I don't think she has ever kissed any boy. (Admittedly , I could be wrong). She knows how much I love her and she understands my position. She is a smart little cookie. He is kinda cute, that's the first pic I have ever seen of him. She says he is very quiet and "nerdy".
lol 
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