Thank you both for that idea. I'd never even really thought about it, but I think that seeing a nutritionist/nutritional therapist might actually be REALLY helpful. I will look into some in the area and see how affordable they are.
And I know I could add more healthy food, but I feel as though I eat a ton. 1100 calories of lean, healthy foods seems like a lot of volume of food! And I have been losing pretty steadily at a pretty fast rate. Talking to a trainer at the gym, he said as long as I kept my protein really high, my body would break down my stored fat to use as energy. But I am sure a nutritionist would be a much, much better source of information.
Yes! If you find someone who is familiar with eating disorders, they understand that it's not so easy as making up a plan with someone who doesn't have major food issues. I loved the fact that it was talk therapy and we focused on exercising and eating an appropriate amount of food and my feelings regarding it all, NEVER on the numbers on the scale or the way I looked.
As much as I hate to admit it, I understand. The more weight I lose the worse I am feeling about myself, I think maybe I expected to much. I thought at 130 I would look semi-normal, I mean that was 45lbs from my starting weight! Well now I am here and I am just as unhappy with my body as I was 45lbs ago. I don't see much of a difference in my body, I still have my dreaded muffin top, , after 5 months of running my thighs still giggly uncontrollably, my stomach is horrific. I am dealing with a huge amount of self-hatred and it is only getting worse.
I guess I had a weird thought in my head that when I lost the weight I was so depressed about somehow it would "fix" everything else that was wrong. Now that I realize the problem is my head, I am at a loss for what to do. I have now changed my goal weight down another 10lbs but am not sure I will be happy when I hit that either. I see other people my weight and they look so much better then I do and it bugs me. I know I should not be comparing myself to others but lets be realistic, we all do it from time to time. I am noticing my flaws more and more and its a constant battle. Looking in the mirror is horrible because all i do is stand there and analyze myself, so I try to avoid mirrors as much as possible still.
I hate to sound like such a downer, I wish I could help more. Just know that you are definitely not alone!
I think I do this as well, though in a milder form. I think at my highest weight in was in denial. Now I can see that I've lost weight but sometimes I still look in the mirror and feel disgusted with myself. I can't believe I let myself get so big and not realize what I was doing. And I worry that when I get to my goal weight I won't be happy. On the other hand, I think that the fact that I'm aware of that is good. What's important is being healthy. If there are still bumps and lumps when I'm at a healthy weight, I hope I can accept them and be happy with my body. After all, if I could say I was happy at 230, shouldn't I be happy at 135?
I think everyone needs to do what makes them happy. If being overweight was making you happy, then be overweight. If the health risks were worrying you, then start changing your outlook to see that being healthier will make you live longer in theory, so you should be happy because of that. If you can't, well then be overweight again if that's going to make you happy.
For me, I'm just one big ball of happiness now I've lost weight. I was dreadfully depressed being obese, I hated my body and thought I looked like a hippo. Now I've lost a lot of weight I'm happy with my body, because I know how bad it looked before. The act of losing weight showed me I can doing anything that I put my mind to; I have grown in so many different ways for the better. Reflection is very important when looking at ones body after weight loss.
I'm all about doing what makes you happy, not what you feel like you "should" do. If someone is morbidly obese but could look me straight in the eye and said "I'm 100% happy" then good for that person. Same goes for those of you who feel critical now that you're losing weight. You've got to find what you love about yourself. I'll always have big boobs which make it painfully hard to fit into some nice clothes, where I get stared at by men just because of them which is degrading I find - but you know what? I've lost 5 inches from them so they're not nearly as bad as they were before - so I can live with them now! My nose is crooked, I hate my profile...but unless I want surgery I can't change that - so I'll concentrate on my eyes and my smile instead.
We all have our nitpicks about our bodies, but it's a shame because sometimes there are amazing parts of our bodies that we can overlook because we're too busy being negative Nancy's. I know I sound like a big slab of cheese, but look on the bright side of life! Look at what you have, how lucky you are. I've seen people who were born without limbs, who are born deformed but always try and think positively and it's so inspiring. We really are all beautiful in one way or another, it's just a shame that we pressure ourselves into being somewhat perfect that we can't see it.
Last edited by Riestrella; 02-10-2012 at 04:02 AM.
There are a lot of great words of advice here. However, I just wanted to give my two cents...
I am trying to lose about 10 lbs of vanity weight now, but about two years ago, I lost a substantial amount of weight. And I maintained most of that loss for the past two years.
I felt the exact same way at first. The thinner I got, the more critical I became, and the worse I thought I looked.
It changes... but it takes time.
Someone here said that it probably takes a while to get your mind out of the same rut of seeing yourself as "fat", and I think that is what it was for me, and what it may be for you. It takes a long time to adjust your perception of yourself after losing a lot of weight. You literally look in the mirror and see a different person than everyone else sees. My husband was complaining the last time that he could see my ribs... and I still thought I was fat!
But, 2 years later, my brain has adjusted to the new me and I feel much more comfortable with how I look. Is my body perfect? Of course not. And, I am working to lose more weight. But, I feel comfortable with my body now- I feel confident, sexy, strong... and it just took time.
By the way, I should mention that I did also see a therapist. But, we didn't really talk about body image because there were other more pressing matters to attend to. That said, my overweight childhood did come up, and I used to HATE that fat little girl I used to be. Now I just feel sympathy and love toward her because I know she was using food to comfort herself because she didn't have anything else. And I think my shift in thinking toward little me did transcend time somewhat and effect my love and perception of current me. So, therapy could definitely help.
Judging from your avatar, I think you look great. But, if you aren't happy, nothing I could say could make you change how you see yourself We're all stubborn like that. Just don't do anything crazy/unhealthy and give your brain time to see the new you- and you'll get there.
Does your body not look better now than it did when you were 60lb heavier? I think you should pride yourself on that more than anything. Pick 3 things that have become better since you've started losing weight. I'm sure you can find something that's been positive since your weight loss journey. A smaller waistline? Skinnier legs? Being able to wear smaller clothes? I mean personally I really admire the fact you've been able to stick to a healthy lean meat fruit filled diet. (I'm also going for the 1100-1200 calorie limit, but sometimes don't get enough fruits and veggies in my diet, which I'm trying to change!)
Also, your goal weight is 30lb away and your body is going to change SOOO much between now and then. Plus, it's not always about just being at 125lb, there's also other things to think about in the future, such as toning and shaping your body, that will also change the way your body looks.
Also, logically and scientifically, you're not fatter the more weight you lose. It is, however, a scientific fact that you are slimmer and have less fat on your body. So this is really just a mental thing that is not based on any fact whatsoever. You need to learn to accept and love yourself and realise you are more than just your body. Everyone is! And remember that you are becoming so much healthier through losing weight, and each pound you lose is one pound away from the increased risks in diseases one can have from being obese and unheathy.
Don't be so hard on yourself, seriously. You've accomplished so much already. Don't let silly insignificant thoughts distract you from your goal and all the hard work you've accomplished so far! Keep fighting and stay positive! We're all here to support you along the way!!
And I have been losing pretty steadily at a pretty fast rate. Talking to a trainer at the gym, he said as long as I kept my protein really high, my body would break down my stored fat to use as energy. But I am sure a nutritionist would be a much, much better source of information. 
