You guys are the best, seriously, thank you so much for your kind words. I missed everyone here! I'm already dropping a couple bloat pounds and I made it 48 hours without a smoke (then had half of a friend's, but it's still better than 5 a day?). Went for long walks the past couple days. Today is nice weather and a slow work day, so I think I'll spend my lunch hour outside enjoying the beautiful architecture here in downtown Albany!
As for getting hung up on the past, it really is silly to beat myself up because I used to weigh less. Almost every adult has weighed less in their adult life than they currently do - instead I think celebrating my health and feeding myself nutritious foods should take priority over my weight. Vices will be vices.
In small victorious news, I almost feel like I have overcome emotional eating. About once a week I have a small breakdown re: guilt about breaking up with my boyfriend I was with for 5 years, but I haven't turned to food once to cope.
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