I'm thinking of quitting Breastfeeding
 

To get some sleep.

I am so exhausted. She's up all of the time, day and night. My breasts are sore and literally bruised - you can see the bruises. I wanted to breastfeed for at least 3 months, but I cannot continue this for another 2.5 months - I am just existing and feel awful most of the time. This is not PPD - I am simply exhausted...

Thanks Mary. I'm going to aim for 6 weeks and re-evaluate how things are going then...I guess I just assumed that formula fed babies sleep longer because the food takes longer to digest - or that someone else could feed her to give me a break.

Can I at least have a coffee or something for a pick-me-up? :)

*passes coffee cup*
 

:coffee:

Here ya go!

:lol:

Hi.. I just wanted to say well done for keeping up the breastfeeding when you are so tired... Nursing is tough going in the beginning, but once it all snaps into place it just gets so much easier. I didn't know anyone who had breastfed, only a friends older mother - she made me promise to keep it up for 6 weeks regardless of how I felt I was going... and she was right. There were many times that I wanted to stop - but in the end my daughter and I developed a very lovely breastfeeding relationship which has continued... Breastfeeding provide you and your bubba lots of benefits for as long as you chose to breastfeed.

I would recommend contacting your local La Leche group and getting some in real life support for those tough days :)

I know how you feel. I have a cracked nipple that is healing sooooo slowly. Before she was born, I just assumed I would bf for a year. Now I find myself setting small goals...1 week, then 2 weeks, then 4 weeks, etc. I'll hit the 4 week mark tomorrow. My next goal is 6 weeks and I'll decide from there. I did give her 1 bottle of formula one night (3 oz) because the thought of bf'ing brought me to tears and I just wanted a break. She did fine with it and now we're back on to bf'ing and I feel better after having the break (mentally).

Thank you Marianna and Donna. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. Even knowing that I'm not alone helps me a lot and encourages me to stick with it for a while longer.

If you're getting sore, it may be improper latching and you might need to reposition the baby until it feels more comfortable on your nipple. You can also try nursing on just one side at a time to give the other side more time to heal.

As for being up all night, I've learned to get to bed much earlier. There are also times that hubby has taken a night shift with either pumped breast milk or formula supplement and let me get a complete night's uninterrupted sleep.

I never want to say people promise themselves six weeks. Please try for at least eight weeks. The problem with saying six is that's usually the time of the first growth spurt, which is a sleeping and eating marathon. It does get easier past six weeks, though. I wouldn't want you to think that the six-week marathon is the way it always will be.

You've already gotten good advice about the bruising. Definitely talk to a lactation consultant (and make sure she is IBLCE-certified, otherwise it's hit-or-miss as to how educated she truly is), or call your local LLL chapter for help. (You can also check out www.breastfeeding.com for advice.)

As far as sleeping--sleep when she sleeps, if you possibly can. I know it's not as simple as it sounds, but if you can manage it at least some of the time, it'll help a lot. Keep her bassinet as close to your bed as you can manage so you can get to her easily. Another thing to consider if you can afford it is the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper--it's a sidecar that attaches to your bed & would make getting her into her sleep space that much easier. Other things that have helped me keep Esther asleep longer are a battery-powered swing (stays on until I turn it off) & covering her up with a shirt I've been wearing (newborns are all about scent).

Hi
I have had one child and she was formula fed from birth. Sure, I did have a medical condition which prevents me from breastfeeding but I must say...she is a beautiful, healthy and strong little girl.
I wanted to breastfeed but I could not and I worried incessantly that she was not getting enough but my obs said that the colostrum from the first few feeds is the number 1 most important thing they get (which she did not get anyway). I am now 15 weeks pregnant with number 2 and he/she will not be breastfed either so take heart. Even if you give yoiur bub formula at night to give yourself a rest would be okay (my own opinion). Lots of mums I know supplemented this way from day 1.
My baby slept through from very early on so I was lucky, all the best..try not to worry so much even though its hard.

The problem with supplementing with formula is this: It will hurt your supply. Breastmilk production is the ultimate in supply and demand. If you start giving formula at night to get more rest, that will lessen even your daytime supply. If you start a very young baby on a bottle, she may well refuse the breast for the simple reason that it's easier to drink from a bottle than from a breast (you have to work for the milk from a breast; milk from a bottle just drips out).

I was formula-fed as an infant, and I must say that I am a robustly healthy individual--I don't even remember the last time I had the flu, for instance, and I never get a shot. This does not, however, put the lie to the health benefits of breastfeeding.

I'll once again recommend the AAP's statement on Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, specifically the section The Need, which outlines the health benefits for mother and child.

Of course, every woman must do what is best for herself and her family, and I will freely admit that I am not the person to look to for assistance in quitting nursing, as I've been doing it for very close to four years, nonstop (I am, in fact, tandem nursing for the second time). :) That doesn't mean it's easy for me, that means it's that important to me.

Any little bit helps, but the longer you can do it, the better.

toybox - All you need to worry about is doing the best you can possibly do, and then letting it go.

I was so excited to start nursing my daughter when she was born, but she had different ideas. She didn't take to the breast until a month later. The entire time I was trying, I was in incredible pain from cracked and bleeding nipples, and she was not even actually nursing. Then at about the four-week mark, something clicked and it all got much easier.

Problem was, I had to go back to work. (Not wanted to go back to work, had to go back to work.) I pumped as often as I could during the day, but my supply started running out when she was about eight months old. I felt bad about it at first, but then I realized I had done the best I could for as long as I could, and I started giving her formula and never looked back.

No one can judge you or your situation or your personal level of exhaustion. If you decide to cut it loose and give formula, your baby will be fine. Really. Just make sure you do yourself the favor of dumping the guilt from the breastfeeding ****s.

On the bottle before breastfeeding thing: I had a lactation consultant help me, and before her visit she suggested to me over the phone that I start using a certain kind of bottle nipple that closely mimics the action of breastfeeding. She said if Beth could get the hang of that, she'd eventually be able to breastfeed. She was right. So for whatever it's worth, there are some bottle nipples out there that can actually help things along if your baby is stuck.

Wow, thank you for all of your advice and support! I really appreciate it :)

My husband and I have decided to give her one formula feeding at night before bed to see how it goes. She took it last night with no issues about getting on the breast again. (I still got up 4 times after that to breastfeed her). She still prefers the breast, but it gave me a bit of a break and helped her settle for a couple of hours.

I think if I do this, it will take some of the pressure off so I won't burnout and quit altogether.

I don't have any great advice to offer, the other ladies have done a good job of that! I just wanted to say, don't feel bad about whatever decision you make. I had to give up BFing before I really wanted to, and it was very emotionally taxing on me - and didn't need to be! Breastfeeding is wonderful and healthy for you both - but if you're miserable, your baby is not going to be happy either, no matter what's in her belly.

You did get some great advice. Regardless, if you are breastfeeding or not the first 6 weeks are the hardest. Babies are not meant to sleep through the night at 3 weeks.

I remember being so committed but in so much pain at first but now that my son is almost one, it is second nature to us. The time spent with him nursing has meant the world to me. At first I felt I had been lied to, all those add with angelic looking breastfeeding mothers, B*llshi*t. I cringed everytime he latched on. But now it is almost over, I am a little sad. I am letting him lead the weening and we are down to some afternoon snacks and right before bedtime.

My advice: co-sleeping is great, having your baby within arms reach and learning to nurse while laying down, saved me.
a bowl of oatmeal a day, does wonders for supply problems
nursing moms tea
lanolin for you nipples, apply right after a nursing session, feels great.

Good Luck,
Amanda

You know, I had a similar problem with my first daughter. The first time I nursed her, the nurses were amazed by how perfectly she latched on. Then the observation nursery (where she had to be because of the meds I was on) gave her a bottle of formula, and we spent the rest of the time I was in the hospital crying because I couldn't get her to latch properly.

And she was the one I had the most trouble nursing, in the beginning. She was the one who would leave little hickies on my areolae (same as bruises, I guess), and even when she did get on the nipple I'd wind up with my nipples sucked to a slant--sure sign of a bad latch. But not breastfeeding wasn't acceptable to me--I'm headstrong like that--so I stuck with it. And if memory serves, it got easier right around 2 or 3 months. She nursed til a week short of her third birthday. (Funny how I started out thinking I'd not nurse past one year, and now I get scared of accidentally weaning my 23-month-old because she's so young. :lol: )

You do what you can, of course. Breastfeeding was so important to me I made darned sure there wasn't a bottle nor can of formula anywhere in the house. It would have been far too easy to start slipping her a bottle here & there, but that's a slippery slope I've seen too many mamas who want to nurse slide down. And now that I know how much soy and milk are allergens...and how exposure to a potential allergen can sensitize you to it...I'm very, very glad I went the route I did.

It is interesting how quickly the nurses in the hospital will give the baby a bottle. Jasmine latched on 2 hours after birth without any problem - but because she was fussy that night the nurse gave her a bottle of formula to quiet her. Thank God Jasmine didn't have any issues with the breast after that. Turns out that the nipple used was pretty similar to mine.

I kept my son in the room w/ me the whole time I was in the hospital. I didn't want anyone even saying bottle around me! I was SO determined to b/f him. I am glad that I did (are still!! yay!). He is 16 months. He doesn't have any of the problems my daughter had (has). We ended up bottle feeding my daughter within a week of her birth. She was on Nutramagen. She has eczema & her skin is super sensitive. She is growing out of these, slowly. I will always be sad that I didn't stick w/ breastfeeding her. But I did what I had to & she is fine. Smart, happy, healthy & beautiful. I also want to add that I had more sleep breastfeeding than I had bottle feeding. Six weeks wasn't the "magic number" for us. But by nine or ten I was at ease b/f & making lunch @ the same time!!! My hubby was in awe & I never felt so wonderful.

carafre

I specifically and adamantly stated "NO BOTTLE". I stressed it repeatedly. And when the nurse begged me to let her take him to the nursery the second night (I was in an extra day for the tubal) because she knew I desperately needed to sleep, I made her promise no bottle. She in fact had to wake him and bring him to me to try and feed him since he slept over 5 hours and wasn't waking up to eat like she thought he would.

Unfortunately, I ended up having to give him a bottle within the week. He lost entirely too much body weight and wasn't eating. My milk wasn't coming through. We had to supplement him with forumula to get him to eat, and then a lactation consultant told me to have hubby dribble the bottle down my breast, while he was latched on, into the corner of his mouth. We had to do this for a couple of days to get my milk flowing. We still have to supplement him for two reasons. One, he had an intestinal infection and has excessive gas, so the doc wants him supplemented on Alamentum. Secondly, we've charted all of his eating habits, his diaper changes, his moods, etc. for a week. Doc noticed that he seems to not be satisified (getting enough) at night and that his gas is worse in the middle of the night. So we supplement him with Alamentum before bed. For some unknown reason, I just don't produce enough milk at night.

I'm jumping in late here and it's way too late at night for me to make much of a coherent post, but I just wanted to add a few things.

About your coffee question, according to The Breastfeeding Answer Book (from La Leche League) you can drink five 5 oz cups of coffee each day without it really affecting baby. I take advantage of this fact and have a morning or afternoon coffee almost day without worry.

One other thing, I notice you're also living in Alberta. I think that there are something like 25 LLL meeting locations in our province. (Man, am I a keener who just read New Beginnings or what??!:^: ) I would strongly recommend stopping by a meeting or at least phoning a leader. The one-on-one support is amazing and you'll probably hear a lot of helpful information. Going to meetings and finding a support system was one of the best parenting decisions I have made.

I hope things smooth out for you! For me, the first six weeks with my son were so tough but it was a breeze after that. This time around I've been blessed with an easy and enthusiastic eater!:D

Thanks!

Kim, I've really started to loosen up the past couple of days. I realized that I've let my baby rule my life instead of getting her to fit into my life. So I'm really working on getting back to my normal self - I started drinking a small coffee every day - I LOVE coffee and so far it has not affected her at all! I also allowed myself a small glass of red wine with dinner last night (which was fine since we gave her the one daily meal of formula at the next feeding).

But guess what! I found the answer to ending my exhaustion!

Last night we moved Jasmine to her own room and used the baby monitor. I still had to get up every 2 hours to feed her, but in between I slept great! I didn't realize how much she was keeping me awake by sleeping next to me - she's a noisy sleeper and I don't think I slept at all when she was right beside me!

So I figure I got about 6-7 hours sleep last night in between feedings. I feel like a brand new woman! I even feel refreshed as far as my breastfeeding goes, and I've been paying extra attention to getting her to latch on better. I use my finger to get her mouth open wide when she's too lazy to do it herself.

So thank you everyone for your advice and support! You helped me through a really tough time :)

We did the same thing and now all three of us are sleeping so much better. :) She's sleeping for longer streches now and I'm only getting up 2 times a night. She's been in her own room for about a week.

Yeah, who woulda thunk it? :) Even Jasmine is taking more naps and sleeping better now. Amazing!

Sleeping is a strange thing. Co-sleeping saved my nursing relationship, but seperate rooms is the answer for a lot of people. Glad you found your solution!

Re: Bottles. My daughter had a lazy latch and jaundice and the only way to get enough liquid in her was via bottle. It helped get the jaundice out and improved her latch. Yet another thing that is different for everyone. Like you said regarding the shape, I bought bottles with slow flow nipples shaped like mine. Worked great. I pumped and had daddy feed her bottles in the middle of the night because 15 minutes of pumping and feeding was much better than an hour of difficult nursing. You just find what works for you.

It seems like you are sticking with it. Good job. I don't know what it is about the 6 week mark, but man, when it hits nursing becomes easy as pie. Then, like Sabra said, the growth spurt hits. I didn't even mind the constant nursing that came with the spurt because I wasn't curling my toes in pain anymore. Shortly after, the hourly night nursings went to only once or twice a night. Just keep trucking.

Congrats on making it this far. It is such an adjustment for mama and baby. It seems only fair to give it a two month trial period. If you have a good pump, you can replace that bottle of formula with breastmilk down the road if you are concerned about supply. I'm 9 months into nursing and I honestly have a hard time remembering the hard times. I suppose it is like labor, you just remember the great stuff after a while.

Thanks for your support Meredith :) I don't think I would've continued if I didn't have the support I did here...I'm looking forward to the 6 week mark! Only 2 weeks to go!

Hi Toybox,
You have received some excellent advice here from these experienced mammas and I am glad that you have found ways to adjust and meet your goals.

To the woman with the "****" comment: I had to comment on the reference to "breastfeeding ****s" above. This makes me very sad. ****s murdered 6 million men, women and children in the most brutal and inhumane manners. Persons who support breastfeeding are not mass murderers or evil. And the use of the term waters down the horrors inflicted by ****s. Let's be aware of language and have some respect for the victims of the Holocaust. Especially at this time of year. I'm sure you weren't thinking of it, but I hope that you might in the future.

Jen

its going to...
 

get better. After about three weeks your nipples become shoe leather. I had a very hard time at the beginning, but with the help of a lactation cunsultant and the wonderful nurses at the birthing center We mastered it. Also if you baby was early I dont recommend making any decisions before thje due date. I kid you not, my son somehow all of a sudden knew what he was doing the day he hit his due date ( he was 3 weeks early). Also if you pump then the hubby can take a feeding for you, or even let you have a nap during the day. Of course you caould always switch to formula at night or even just sometimes to give youreslf a break. Whatever works for you and your baby.
Coffee ???? I checked with my pediatrician and a nursing mother can consume 4 caffeine drinks a day without it affecting her milk. I partake of this luxury!!!!
Tons of luck!!!
Tara

A lot of the BF commentary probably comes from people seeing segments like one my hubby saw the other day (Oprah, I think)...where a woman was BF'ing her 14 YEAR old son. :(

What!? That is odd; I didn't see that..why was she doing that? I know that breastmilk does have healing properties (for cancer, etc. some docs will order breastmilk from the donor banks for their patients because breastmilk has the healing affects and is digested quickly and easily). But even if that was the case..she could pump the milk..I hope that she wasn't *breastfeeding*..that freaks even me out!:dizzy:

Just a comment about 'breastfeeding ****s' - IMO, no harm was intended and people need to calm right down about it. There are women who are adamant about breastfeeding to the point that they look down on women who choose not to or are unable to, for whatever reason. That is just wrong. We are all women and we are all doing what we feel is best for our babies. Lending support is what is needed, not judgement or falsehoods (I did a bit of research on that cancer patient comment and came up with nothing but AMA & Oxford U statements that there's no proof it works) to try to guilt a woman into breastfeeding.

I really like to cook soup, but I'm not offended by the Seinfeld coining of "Soup ****." :lol:

Yep. I stand by my usual statement: You'd think men would be OK with it. Men love multipurpose things, and a milk-filled breast combines two of their favorite things: sex and food. :lol: I guess the problem is that the food isn't for them...Now, if we lactated Cheez Wiz...!

I'm a bit envious of those of you who've successfully managed to get your breastfed kids to take bottles. I'd love to be able to pump & leave a bottle for a sitter or some such, but my daughters have never gone for it. I must have tried five or six different nipples with Linda, all to no avail. I haven't even tried with Esther. (Ah well, I never can pump very much either. Even when I had such an oversupply with Bobbie that I leaked freely, I never could pump more than an ounce at a time.)

And I loathe Dr Phil. I am truly frightened by how many devotees he has. It's trash TV just like Sally Jesse was, just like Montel is. It's like the man has taken it upon himself to trash attachment parenting, because issues like extended nursing, tandem nursing, and co-sleeping are invariably presented in a negative light. I actually had someone say that co-sleeping was bad because Dr Phil said it robs parents of "husband & wife time" (which, of course, means sex). :rolleyes: As if there aren't plenty of parents who put the children before the marriage who have their kids in cribs!

Gah, sorry, I know that's not really what the thread is supposed to be about.

Toybox, I am glad you found something that works for you. That's what matters. I know I never got a jot of sleep with my baby in a basinette beside me because I'd wake up and sit up and check on her every single time she made a noise or moved. Cosleeping worked for me because it meant I need to, at the most, turn my head to check on the baby. If having Jasmine in a different room means you get more sleep, great! Sleep is the emporer of it all in the early days. :lol:

I didn't see it, and hubby only caught some of it. I asked him what they were saying about that woman, and he said she was pretty much ignored, that they didn't focus on it.