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View Poll Results: Parenting Style
Can't spoil a child/ feed on demand 21 70.00%
Parenting Style? you're lucky I took a shower today! 9 30.00%
Children should be seen/not heard 0 0%
Baby Wise / Cry it out 0 0%
Voters: 30. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-29-2005, 09:41 AM   #1
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Default Parenting Style?

I don't really want to start any debates.. just wondering what your parenting style is. Or what you plan on your parenting style to be.
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Old 06-29-2005, 09:55 AM   #2
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Some days I go from one extreme to the other. For the most part I try to follow the babywise style. Some where in the middle is more me. I found this great book called: Good Night, sleep tight" http://www.thesleeplady.com/ I would strongly recommend her book. I got it from her web site at 30% off. I liked it because it's for kids 0-5 years old. You can use it based on your child's age. Starts off for just the first 2 weeks of life. This way you don't have to read through chapters and chapters of reading. And who has time for that!

One piece of advice - if you want to read up on any parenting styles - do so BEFORE you give birth - because by the time you get the time later.. it's too late!
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Old 06-29-2005, 10:32 AM   #3
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I don't know what my style will be once I become a parent. I know in my mind that I have guidelines and what I plan to do-- which category it falls under, I don't know. I plan to have a definite schedule/routine for Carson. I know it won't be perfect at first but with a little dilligence, I am hoping to get something routine going. I would like to allow the baby to cry and me not pick him up every time. I plan to use a play-pen and get him used to that right off the bat. As I said, these are all my thoughts, now if it all really happens, we'll just have to wait and see. I am hoping to follow my moms parenting style used with us. My mom always says that we were excellent kids growing up. It's scary for me. I want to raise a good boy, who behaves, respects and is kind, polite etc. I'm sure we all want that. I really plan on being the type of parent that doesn't just yell and get mad all the time and make my kid always do what I say. I'd like to give my child the opportunity to "say his part" and for me to explain my resoning and give Re-direction. Hopefully that will allow my child to make his own decision but the best decision as well. On the same note, I think the child must know who is in charge but respectfully so because I don't want the child calling all the shots.. I just hope my husband and I do all the right things to achieve it. All children are different so each "plan" will be too? I'll take any advice!
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Old 06-29-2005, 01:26 PM   #4
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What parenting style?! OK, I started out with both kids feeding on demand and letting them work themselves into a schedule...which they did, then I try to stick to that schedule. I'm not perfect, I've tried lots of methods.

#1 had a lot of sleep issues and I tried CIO, or Ferber...my version of it. Nothing seemed to work, and honestly, he still ends up in our bed some nights...it's just not worth the fight to me...someday he will sleep in his own bed, all night, every night.

#2 sleeps much better, and in his own crib, every night. Of course we're only 5.5 months into it, and I"m sure it could get worse, but hopefully it won't! If it does, I will try not to stress about it, and just go with the flow...it's just not worth the stress to fight it sometimes, especially when you work F/T outside the home.

Regardless of what your style is, just make sure you and DH work together to raise your kids, that's most important.
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Old 06-29-2005, 01:50 PM   #5
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I did let my kids CIO. I also had to get them both to turn their nights and days around shortly after birth. Lilly was sleeping through the night by 6-8 weeks of age and william by 3 months.

As for parenting style mine don't really fit into any of those categories.
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Old 06-30-2005, 02:30 AM   #6
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Much as my title says, I'm a crunchy mama. I practice attachment parenting and believe that CIO is at odds with a child's psychological development. Especially in the first couple of months after they are born, children do not have wants but only needs. And yes, being held is a need. I feed on demand, I always have. I co-sleep as well, and once I got out of the hospital with the first two and was able to do that, I slept quite well.

I don't equate "good child" with "child whom I don't have to do much with." A friend of the family was very proud of how she took care of her kids when they were babies...she would nurse them, then swaddle them and put them back in their cribs til time for the next feeding. So she considered them "good kids" because she didn't do much of anything with them...

I SAH, so I can afford to have a very flexible schedule. I don't want to do the same things at the same time every single day, so I don't expect the same of my kids. Of course, most kids will schedule themselves, when given the chance. The only schedule I have a problem with is feeding on a schedule. The earliest versions of BabyWise prompted several cases of malnoutrition. When babies go through growth spurts (and the first is at about 4 - 6 weeks), they need to nurse more often than every three hours, so that mama's milk supply has a chance to catch up. It's not a parenting style, it's physiology.
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Old 06-30-2005, 01:21 PM   #7
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I guess I should clarify that when mine were newborns I did not let them CIO. It wasn't until they were at least 6-7 months. When we switched Lilly to a toddler bed we would let her cry as well for about 10 minutes and then go back in put her back to bed and repeat that pattern until she went to sleep.
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Old 06-30-2005, 05:29 PM   #8
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I chose the "you're lucky I took a shower today" option because nothing else really fit. I'm very into breastfeeding and slings are my favorite invention ever. But, I sleep trained both my kids around 9-10 months old (when cosleeping turned into climbing all over mama and daddy all night long instead of sleeping) and vaccinate mostly on schedule. I let my kids figure out the regular "schedule" for the day as far as meal times and naps, but once they settled into a pattern I made sure we stuck to it. We do not spank but I have no opposition to time-outs. Etcetera.

To be completely honest, I tend to dislike the labels in general because so often it seems that labelling parenting styles tends to be divisive among groups of mothers. I try to avoid parenting labels most of the time, but even if I wasn't opposed to labels I wouldn't know what to call myself. I do what works for us and I'm thrilled that other people do what works for them . We're all individuals and we all have unique children, so what works for one may be disasterous for another. As long as families are happy, healthy, and secure, that's good enough for me.
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Old 07-01-2005, 01:19 AM   #9
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I am an AP mom so I do the whole NO CIO, co-sleep, extended breastfeeding, etc!
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Old 07-01-2005, 03:17 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gray eyed girla
I do what works for us and I'm thrilled that other people do what works for them . We're all individuals and we all have unique children, so what works for one may be disasterous for another. As long as families are happy, healthy, and secure, that's good enough for me.
how refreshing!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!

Sometimes I find myself so easily influenced by others that it drives me nuts
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Old 07-01-2005, 08:36 AM   #11
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Co-sleeping means climbing over mama? And here I thought it meant turning sideways and trying to shove mama out of the bed with your feet...

I just call myself AP because it's easiest, though some people would throw me completely out of the club for vaccinating at all. (I vax late.) Or for using disposable diapers. It's just for easy identification, sort of like how I call myself a Republican because it's easier than explaining social Libertarianism/strict Constitutionalism. Come to think of it, I could get kicked out of the crunchy club for that...

And I am a fan of doing what works. As long as your baby is fed well & happy. And you're not, as many of my relatives are fond of, leaving him in a freaking swing or bouncy seat all day while you go on about your business...
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Old 07-01-2005, 08:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatBigMonsterMomma
sort of like how I call myself a Republican because it's easier than explaining social Libertarianism/strict Constitutionalism. Come to think of it, I could get kicked out of the crunchy club for that...
get out of here!!

My husband is member of the constitution party We are a rare breed! I can't vote yet in this country - I'm still a Canadian citizen. Next month I can apply - I've only been here for 7 years!!!! (you have to wait 3 years after you get your green card to apply. (I was born and raised in the social country of Canada) Talk about a switch, eh?
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Old 07-01-2005, 04:41 PM   #13
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LOL Sabra that is funny about the crunchy club.

I think parents who do the attachment parenting are awesome. I've done some research on it and I just can't see myself personally doing it.
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Old 07-07-2005, 06:39 PM   #14
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I would be considered AP, but not the crunchiest. We cloth diaper (part-time because of daycare), baby wear, breastfeed, don't start solids before 6 months, don't CIO or put baby on a schedule. I do vaccinate on the recommended schedule and I work afternoons so at least at daycare my daughter isn't held constantly!

This works for us, now. In a few months or years or when another baby comes along, everything could change. People do look at me strange when they see me with a sling or talking about cloth because I live in small town, USA, but I like it. My daughter is a lot of fun and I like bonding with her as much as possible. Daddy is a baby wearer, too. As long as people are good to their children, they are good parents. I know plenty of people that formula feed, push strollers, CIO, and use sposies that are awesome parents.
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Old 07-07-2005, 08:37 PM   #15
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I must say.. we have different styles... but we have kept things civil.. Honestly, I was a bit worried posting this thread - I think we can all learn a bit from each style
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