DH and I decided together that #3 was the last for many reasons.
#1. Kids are expensive. I'm a SAHM mom now and DH is the only income. He makes a good living but without my income we can't really move foward (paydown debt, eventually sell this house buy a bigger one that we will need as the boys get older)
#2. I hate being pregnant. I get deathly ill during the first trimester. I cannot move off the couch, I puke non stop and I was in the hospital with hte last pregnancy for fluids b/c dehydration. I cannot care for my current children during that time. I wish for death and after this time swore never again. I am also fat and in lots of pain at the end.
#3. I had trouble getting pregnant with my 3rd baby. I had two miscarriages and ended up needing progesterone with my third son.
#4. I'm going to be 33. Not old but as I creep up there, I think about how lucky I am that my kids are healthy. I worry that I might have a child that is not healthy.
#5 Speaking of healthy, My oldest son is high functioning autistic which I consider healthy, but he has a lot of challenges. We don't know if our new little baby is on the spectrum, he;s only 2 1/2 months old. So all we can do is wait. I worry about having another baby that is serverly autistic.
#6 We'd like to get on with life that is hard to do with little babies. Travel, sleep through the night...I need to get back to school. I'm a few classes away from finishing my BSN. It has taken me a lifetime because I keep stopping to have babies!
#7 I will not get pregnant at this weight. I'd have to get back down to around 160 for me to feel ok getting pregnant again. But I dont want to rush. I'm really struggling with the weightloss this time, and that would put me under the gun to get the weight off.
#8. I dont want to regain only to have to lose it again.
#9 My last baby was 9 lb 6 oz...I am still having pelvic pain...I am terrified of having another baby that big. The labor was the worst pain ever. Exponetially worse than my 7 lb and 8 lb kids. And I had an epi! But the puching part, I felt ike I was splittin in half...seriously I'm scared to do that ever again. If I knew another baby was going to be an easy 7 lbs...well that would be different...
So DH and I have all these logical reasons. And I felt at peace with 3 kids. I didnt feel "done" at 2...but 3, I felt good.....and the past few weeks I've been seriously loving loving loving my new little guy and the time with him (I had to work with my other two) that I have a little voice in my head saying "I want another"...
I don't know if its because he's my third, and I know he's last, or if its because I'm older, or because I'm home now and not trying to work 40+ hours weekly, or because we are more financially secure, but I'm so much more at peace and enjoying this time, I want to do it again. WIth my other two I was more stressed.
BUt we are done. I dont even want to bring it up to DH...BUt I've literally thought about getting my tubes tied so I cant try again...
How did you know you were done? Did you have doubts? Is there a grieving process moving out of the child bearing stage of life??