[kmward]

Hey guys I really need some advice. I am a 27 year old mother of 3. I currently weigh 250. I am having trouble sticking to a diet plan. My husband and I have decided to have another baby. I am really concerned about my weight. I weigh the same as i did at 9 mo with my youngest daughter. I cant weigh 300 lbs and I am scared if I get pregnant I will. I just cant be any further away from my goal than now. Does anyone have any advice about dieting and pregnancy. I know it is a really touchy thing. I am not talking about any kind of crazy crash dieting, just trying to be healty and getting some exercise in. I just dont know what to do. I would like to loose like 40 lbs before I get pregnant, but we r gonna start trying next month and that isnt realistic. I really need some advice. Is it safe to lose weight while pregnant or at least maintain? Is it safe to start a new fitness/diet plan while pregnant? Is this even possible or do I have to choose between 300 lbs and a baby. Please help! I could really use some advice!

[guamvixen]

I would suggest talking to your OB/GYN first before you conceive. For me, I knew at my highest weight (250) I wasn't able to conceive b/c the risks were to high and I didn't want a high risk pregnancy. I'm currenlty 6.5 months pregnant and it only took one shot! I would probably say your dr would suggest losing some weight before you have another baby. Maybe you can lost the 30lbs us pregnant gals gain during pregancy BEFORE you get pregnant that way you have a cushion and you won't end up heavy. I believe the recommended weight gain for overweight women while pregnant is about 10-15 lbs if I'm not mistaken. But like I said, consult your dr. If you do want to start before any weight loss, then it will just be about healthy eating and smart choices with foods. Good luck!

[beerab]

Maybe you could hold off on another baby for 6 months to get into shape?

What diets have you tried, why do you think they failed? Do you feel you get enough help with the children so that you can get 1 hour a day to yourself to exercise? I had to learn to let go of housework so that I'd have time to workout- the house being a little dirty is not as important as getting a workout in IMO.

I'd start calorie counting if I were you- at your weight you can eat 1800-1900 calories per day and lose weight. Get rid of all the junk food if you can't have it around you. Sub them with healthier treats, and don't eat out if you can help it.

Ask your husband for help- I'm sure he could use a change in lifestyle also. I'm in the 190s and my doctor STILL says I am too overweight to get pregnant. I wouldn't have another child at your weight because you don't want to have complications for you or your child.

Good luck!

[gottadoit2010]

I lost weight when I was pregnant with both my kids. It wasn't due to any diet plan, but due to walking more and making healthy choices. I swam too. But...mainly I ate great! Every bite I took I remembered it was going to the baby. So...during my pregnancy at the beginning I would lose, middle maintain and end I was only up 10-15 pounds which of course was gone when I had the babies. My doctor was proud of me as she knew what I was doing and knew that all my #'s were great. Both times I was around 240 when I started the pregnancy....and I was also a higher risk...but only due to being over 30. Good luck with your choices and discussions!

[Gale02]

I think if you're ready to have another baby then you should go for it. I was over 250 when I got pregnant with my son and now, 2 weeks postpartum I'm almost back to PPW. I ate healthy for the most part, exercised when I could and I gained way less than I did with my first.

Your Dr will always recommend losing weight if you're overweight. Personally, I wouldn't let it dictate when to have kids. OTOH, if you're not ready or really don't want to be pregnant at this weight, then wait for a few months and try to lose some in the mean time. If you're not already pregnant, it's not too late to change your mind on when to have another baby! This is entirely your and DH's decision.

[kmward]

Thanks for all the advice guys!

[kmward]

Hey everyone,
I want to thank everyone for their comments. I appreciate all of the advice. I also want to say thanks to everyone for being NICE to me. When I posted the same question on my other forum I got some down right nasty responses. I know people mean well, but the implication that I am selfish or stupid or have my prioritys wrong or dont think of my children is simply incorrect. I posted these questions to you guys because I want to make the BEST decision possible for my family as well as a for the child I would carry. I thought I would let you all know the decision that my husband and I have come to. We have decided to wait aprox 8 mo to a year to before trying to have a baby. I would like a chance to get my weight into a more normal level before trying to have another child. Also we feel that there are some other things we need to take care of first before we bring another child into our family. Thanks again to everyone who posted on here. I do appreciate all of the advice.

[boots]

Originally Posted by kmward

Hey everyone,
I want to thank everyone for their comments. I appreciate all of the advice. I also want to say thanks to everyone for being NICE to me. When I posted the same question on my other forum I got some down right nasty responses. I know people mean well, but the implication that I am selfish or stupid or have my prioritys wrong or dont think of my children is simply incorrect. I posted these questions to you guys because I want to make the BEST decision possible for my family as well as a for the child I would carry. I thought I would let you all know the decision that my husband and I have come to. We have decided to wait aprox 8 mo to a year to before trying to have a baby. I would like a chance to get my weight into a more normal level before trying to have another child. Also we feel that there are some other things we need to take care of first before we bring another child into our family. Thanks again to everyone who posted on here. I do appreciate all of the advice.

Since my post in response to you on the other forum was one of the ones that apparently upset you, I'd like to clarify.

a.) you asked for advice, hence you'll get opinions and experiences shared with you.

b.) you can't control people's advice or opinions of you. If my opinion of your decisions is low, thats NOT your problem or your fault. Thats just my opinion.

c.) If I think your priorities are skewed up (i.e. I felt your original post showed more focus on your weight being a problem for you throughout this pregnancy instead of as an overall problem for the baby) than thats just MY OPINION, its not necessarily the way it is. And its my interpretation of ONE post from you. YOU have a far more knowledgeable basis to think "boots misinterpreted my post" vs "ZOMG She's an evil witch for saying that about me!"

d.) I didn't mean any of it as a personal insult or attack, I just feel clarity of perspective is often helpful when someone is asking for advice.


Ultimately, the decision to have a baby and WHEN to have a baby is a personal decision that YOU make. Don't make it based on any other person's opinions. Make sure you're wellinformed of the risks, and be confident with YOUR decisions. It doesn't matter what I think.


Gleaning from other people's experiences can HELP you make a better decision however, and a decision you can feel more confident about. All of my pregnancies were unplanned accidents and failure on my part to properly utilize the birth control methods I was attempting. My second baby I got pregnant at around 190 I think? And my third one I got pregnant at about 170. I was ridiculously surprised at how much better my body handled the third pregnancy based on about a twenty pound weightloss difference. The baby was healthier, I was healthier and the entire thing was safer. When I was pregnant with the second one, my diet was out of control, I had convinced myself that my eating didn't *really* have that much of an affect on the baby. I couldn't have been more wrong. I gave my third baby a MUCH healthier start in this world than I gave my second baby simply because I had more control and was eating healthier during the pregnancy. I had a safer place to conceive in.

So thats all I was saying. If I could choose, between ASAP and 8 months, but provide a healthier place for my baby to grow in in 8 months, thats what *I* would do now after having the experience that I've already had.

But you don't have to make that decision. You make YOUR decision. YOUR the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions. You asked for opinions, I gave you an opinions. You can't make me agree with you, NOR should you make your choices based upon my opinions.

Make a choice that makes YOU happy. Because honestly I don't really care what you do, its YOUR life.


I'm sorry if I hurt with my bluntness on the other post, I just feel that after my experiences, its important to realize the affects of your lifestyle on the baby. But you're the only one that really has to worry about it. I'm also not going to go around volunteering my opinion, I don't do that. I offer it when I'm asked, but I'm sorry it obviously upset you.

[Gale02]

kmward,
It sounds like you and DH are making the decision that's best for you! Good luck with your weight loss. DH and I are in the same position, maybe wanting more kids but me definitely wanting to lose weight before I get pregnant again. If I get pregnant again. I'm only 3 weeks PP so the thought of another baby is several years out right now, at least.

I'm sorry that people were rude to you. Sometimes in a public forum we have to take the bad with the good, unfortunately. I'm glad you were able to get what you needed here, this is a really great group of ladies!

[sacha]

Well, my perspective is a little different. I was a maintainer and got pregnant at 125lbs, gave birth at only 165lbs (still a 40lb gain but not outrageous). Perfectly healthy pregnancy. Gym everyday. 4 day labour/birth nearly ended in cerebral palsy but luckily only some fractures.

So here's my take... you can do as much as you can to maximize your chances but nothing is absolute. Perhaps something like weight watchers, before conceiving, could keep you accountable (re: meetings). Nutritionists that specialize in prenatal women, or even just an accountability chart on your fridge. Some women can lose weight/maintain in pregnancy if they are obese - I'm not sure if you qualify but a doctor can say.

Walking and swimming are always great for pregnant women unless some other complication is present.

Good luck!!

[kirsteng]

I just wanted to add that having a high weight going into pregnancy does not necessarily mean that your pregnancy will be high risk. Lots of overweight and obese women have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies. I'm one of them. I had 3 babies, start weight always in the 240's (for me, that's about 50 pounds overweight as I'm almost 6'1"). All 3 of my pregnancies were textbook, I had 3 natural, medication free deliveries (the last one a homebirth), and 3 perfectly healthy gorgeous babies. With each pregnancy I gained 40-45 pounds, and had lost all but 10 pounds of it or so in the first 6 weeks postpartum ( I think I gain a lot of fluid in pg).

Oh and my age in my pregnancies was 35 for my first, 36 for my second, and almost 41 for my third.

Lose weight before the baby if that's what you want to do to make yourself feel healthier physically and spiritually.. but don't get caught up on the numbers. You'll do great either way! GL!

[livb528]

I think you've made a great choice as it seems that you feel relieved to have some time to get to a healthier weight before another pregnancy. What matters is how you feel about it.

But I also wanted to add in another story of how being overweight doesn't mean you'll automatically have a high risk pregnancy. I was 228 when we found out we were unexpectedly pregnant (but ecstatic!). My entire pregnancy was relatively easy and had no complications. I did have some sciatic pain that sent me to the chiropractor that was probably made worse by the extra weight but I've had that for years.

My OB commented on my weight every appointment (I had only gained 5) and sent me for an early GTT's which I passed with flying colors before the results were even valid (You have to be at least 20 weeks and I was only 18). I eventually got fed up with my OB because she kept commenting on how "Big" my baby was going to be and not even through U/S- just her opinion! I ended up going to a homebirth midwife (a dream of mine!) half way through my pregnancy and with a very quick and relatively "easy" labor, had a 8 lb 4 oz healthy baby girl. She was 5 days late and not "big" at all!

So, I say all this just to prove that just because you're overweight doesn't mean you'll have tons of complications. And if you have an OB who is using scare tactics on you because of your weight with no data to back it up, ask for a 2nd opinion!

Good luck with your weight loss!!!