Im 25 nearly 26 and im not preggers nor am i TTC. But "kids" is something that is popping up in our realtionship time again.
It is something we want in the near future, however , i have had a stigma attatched to "preganacy and motherhood" for sometime. My mother never wanted kids and did not enjoy either of her two pregnancys and all ive heard is of the horror storys and ever since being young the whole aspect has terrified me even tho she had twinz when i was 16 and i was practiaclly a 2nd mother.
Basically it has always seemed a negative thing 2 do,( not for me , i would love to have a child one day ) .
I think i need to get a book and read up on it to get my head round it more and stop thinking about other peoples opinions. I am also over weight and would like to get my weight down also before i dedicate my self to TTC.
I just wanted some advice on my situation , some positivity. I need to hear others experiences etc .....otherwise i fear i may never take that step.
I wasn't sure I wanted kids, if fact, little kids tend to irritate me. But I knew my husband really wanted them so I made the leap. I can't tell you what a wonderful, satisfying and challenging experience it has been. While things can be difficult at times I can't tell you how much my son has changed my life and how in love with him I am. It has been a completely indescribably experience that I wouldn't change for the world. He is 19 months now and I can't wait to watch him grow up. Even when I was pregnant I wasn't sure that I would like being a mom, but it's amazing. Pregnancy was fine, of course the first tri sucked, and the last few weeks I could do without, but the experience of having a little person growing inside me was pretty amazing. Good luck with whatever you decide, but try not to overthink it and try to put your baggage aside as best you can, it does not have to define you or influence your life decisions.
You might also want to look into some counseling as well.
Your mom didn't really didn't want kids, she portrayed children in a negative light, and naturally anyone would have issues if all someone ever did was talk negatively about children and their pregnancy experiences.
You say you practically raised your siblings so I'm sure you'll make a great mother. Also the fact your mother didn't want kids she probably made her pregnancy harder on herself than it really was? You know like making mountains out of molehills? Obviously I don't know what her pregnancy was like but could that be the case?
I've never been pregnant but I can't wait! It's one of my BIGGEST motivations for losing weight- I want to be a healthy and fit mom and have as little complications as possible during pregnancy
Thanks for your replys guys.
Im not sure i need councilling i dont think my case is that severe, however suppose i need more educated. (yes i know the bird n bees etc) think i just need to understand what happens to you throughout preganacy , Motherhood in general doesnt bother me as i know i can do that part.
Its also knowing the "right time" and my weight. Is it possible to continue your weightloss during preganacy? i dont want to be in a position where my weight is gona complicate things x
you shouldnt try to lose weight whilst pregnant although you can try and control what weight you put on with eating the right things instead of giving in to everything like me when im hungry i will eat anything as when im sick i cant look at anything!
Counseling isn't just for severe cases. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone who isn't involved in your life and get a different perspective. If you feel you don't need it, you don't have to go that route.
Educate yourself for sure, but keep in mind that every pregnancy is different. You really don't know how it'll be for you until you are in the thick of it. It's a beautiful process and it can be tough for some women. Our bodies are made for this, so when it's your time trust that your body can handle it.
Under no circumstances should you try to lose weight while pregnant. You will gain some, even if you aren't at your ideal weight. Since you are concerned, I would suggest getting to your goal weight and maintaining for a bit before you start ttc or at least getting closer to goal.
yeah i think thats the plan of action........get nerded up on few books ...lose those extra pounds that i really want rid of reguardless.
And im sure things will come naturally and my mind set will relax in 2 it
Been great reading your experiences , thats what i need and more info......gona use it as an aditional motivator along side my leopard print dress in the wardorbe .
What it to be a happy relaxed time when the time comes
like zenor said- counseling isn't just for severe cases
You don't have to sign up for a year of sessions- at my old job they had free counseling sessions for anyone who ever just wanted to pop in. I had a friend who was so stressed one time and ended up going to one person a few times and said she felt so much better.
Start reading some pregnancy sites- particularly the ones that show what happens from week to week. Our bodies are designed to hold babies so while pregnancy isn't a walk in the park you'll be fine.
I agree don't think about losing weight while getting pregnant AND talk to your doctor about how much you should lose before conceiving. My current doctor says she'd prefer I continue to lose weight now before trying to conceive. Which I totally agree. My mom's good friend's daughter was severly overweight when she conceived and her daughter ended up having all these heart issues and multiple surgeries by the time she was one. Her doctor first told her lose weight, you are too overweight for a baby. She didn't listen and got pregnant. Then he told her she needs to be careful about weight gain and again she didn't listen and gained 50 lbs during the pregnancy. You are 2-3 times more likely to have a baby with heart issues or other birth defects.
My husband thinks "I'm fine" and don't need to lose anymore weight- but I don't care what he thinks- I told him when he has a pHD like the doctor I'll listen to him instead
I kno you shouldnt try to lose weight whilst pregnant,however you can still do light exercise??? i like to swim few time s a week when i can and when the time comes i would like to keep it up to keep fit and tone up xxx
I kno you shouldnt try to lose weight whilst pregnant,however you can still do light exercise??? i like to swim few time s a week when i can and when the time comes i would like to keep it up to keep fit and tone up xxx
Pregnancy is a WELLNESS cycle thing not an illness cycle thing. You can pretty much do anything you want to in terms of exercise though as baby develops, your mobility may changes. Swimming, yoga, walking -- all of the low impact stuff is good.
Try not to worry too much about what other people say. Every pregnancy is different.
Some women are resentful during pregnancy and feel that they cannot do anything that they once did. They lose their sense of "self" and feel that they are bound to the "frumpy pregnant woman" stereotype.
OR...
You can use it as an opportunity to keep in shape. Yes, you will gain weight, and yes, your tummy will stretch out a bit. Sure, it's hard to shave your legs or put on shoes. However, I still workout each day, in fact, I did a 3 hour hike yesterday with my dog. I am 8.5 months pregnant now. I worked out before I was pregnant, but now I am even more motivated to stay active just because I know it is good for my baby. It isn't about me anymore, but it is about introducing a healthy, fit lifestyle to my son.
Every morning, I get up and do my hair, makeup, and wear slimming maternity clothes. Even if I'm going to stay in the house all day except my dog walks.
You may have had a poor example of a mother, but in the end, perhaps that will motivate you to be a good mother - because you KNOW that your baby deserves a good mother????
Here's a picture of me from today, at 8.5 months along. Even with this bump in the way, I still walk 1-3 hours per day, or go hiking on a daily basis. And yes, I've already gained more than 30lbs! which is already near the top end of my recommended limit. It really is what you make of it.
To the OP, do you have any friends or family members who feel positive about having children? I'm sorry you grew up with a mom who was bitter about motherhood. That has to affect you in a multitude of way.
Thanks Sacha You have the same name as my sis lol
yeah your right , when the time comes i really need to forget others opinions etc and do it for me , my partner and baby. Y should i let people shun me or be negative about it . im going on 26 and know when time is right. Obviously at min i dont feel i am totally ready weight and fianancial issuse to iron out.
Its still someting to come in near futute im not TTC yet .....but want to be in the right mind set and getting fitter etc when i come off the old pill
Londons baby..............erm not really (my grandmother but shes passed away some yrs ago now ) I have friends that have childern But no close family members id say i would talk about it to.
Advice please???
even tho she had twinz when i was 16 and i was practiaclly a 2nd mother.
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