I have to join. I was a dieting QUEEN until I got pregnant. I don't know if I am a wuss or I had a super hormonal pregnancy, but I was a biotch. I started at 180 topped out at 274 and have settled at 240 :( I feel like I just have fat hanging off of me. I want to get back to who I used to be but (let the excuses begin) Its freaking HOT, I'm hungry all.the.time I've noticed if I eat I pump better (s I should eat good things right! Duh.) With both of us working FT where is the time to exercise or to cook healthy? My DH eats like a freaking toddler if it isn't fried or at least breaded he doesn't want it.

Man, I am full of excuses. So what if its hot? It wouldn't be so hot if I wasn't so fat, I don't have to eat cookies when I am hungry, there is nothing wrong with the bag of carrots in the fridge, my son naps at LEAST 2 hours when I get home from work. Can we say time to get on the elliptical!? What it wrong with me! I need to get my head in the game!

I think I am secretly worried about losing my supply. It seems like no one breastfeeds anymore. Except you ladies. With working and breastfeeding and being a new mom and needing to lose weight, I am really starting to feel the pressure. I know that if I can get healthier I will feel better all round. I MUST be a food role model for my baby. I don't want him to struggle like I do. He looks a lot like me, I just prey he has his dads genetics.

[/QUOTE]We splurged last night and had pizza. Another food that is like crack to me![/QUOTE]

Oh my gosh i am totally there with you! i LOVE pizza, i can have it till it comes out my ears, it really is a drug! upset, angry, bored, whatever, pizza was always the answer! ive done well keeping away from it so far;) well see how long it lasts.

Anyhow, ive lost 2lb! :carrot: and thats including a slight slip one evening and ive been exercising everyday, yay! its starting to get easier, im actually beginning to think i could do this :D

I'm so proud of my self! I pushed my butt out the door today and walked for 35 minutes with both kids! (Gabe in the carrier and Isaac in the stroller) I think bringing them with counts for a lot of extra calories burned. Eating has been going good all day, but I am banking for calories tonight at dinner, we're going out with my parents before they head back to MN in the morning.

Kriket I know what you mean. I work in a school full of women--so there are preg women and new babies constantly. Not ONE...and I mean not ONE is breastfeeding. I just hit my YEAR milestone of breastfeeding and they don't seem to understand why I keep going. *sigh*

I too was terrified of losing my supply--and my supply did drop when I tried to lower my calories. Now that she's 12 months I'm not so freaked out. Good luck to you. I figured I'd get disgusted by my own self at some point and straighten out (I was diet queen too...lol).

I'm not running tonight. I try to run 5 days a week, so as long as I do it tomorrow, I'm good. I don't really need to take those 2 days off. I should at least walk on the days I don't run. Ugh. I feel like the weight should be dropping off me but it doesn't seem like it. I did buy pants 2 sizes smaller today, BUT (before I get too excited) I started back to work and no one has noticed I lost this last 24 lbs. Greeeeaaat. That's fat, my friends. When you can lose 24 lbs and no one can even tell!!! ARRRGGG

Kriket and Saikin - I'm right there with ya. I nursed my 3rd baby to 12 mnths (she just lost interest) and plan on going to 12-15 months with this baby. I also went back to work full time and pumped (in an office full of men only) That was a nightmare.

My mom didn't bf, nor my MIL, nor any of my friends...kinda hard to figure it out and even harder to keep going. You can do it! And we're going to loose this weight!!

Kayla - good job on getting out there with the kiddos! I have a double stroller that I put the baby and the toddler in, then have my 7 and 10 year olds ride their bikes. I bribe them with a stop at the park on the way back! :)

Saikan - I feel your pain with no one noticing the weightloss. I lost 70lbs before I got pregnant & not a single person noticed until I had lost 50lbs. 50lbs!!! SOOO discouraging. My Mom figures people are just too polite to say anything until they know for sure. I tell people they look slimmer anytime I think they've lost anything - I would like that myself.

I'm super unmotivated right now. I've never felt this unwilling to lose weight - it's not that I don't want to lose the weight I just have no desire to do the work 'cause it feels so impossible. I need a serious attitude adjustment - sigh. Doesn't help that my ankle is mysteriously swollen & sore making doing anything painful (even driving is hard).

Sorry to groan so much - hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Yeah, the hardest part about "dieting" is getting started...that first stretch where you are making it a habit. I maintained an 80 lb loss for 5 years (gained 20 while trying to conceive and 60 during preg--yikes) and that maintaining was a piece of cake vs trying to get back on the wagon.

I wish I knew what to tell you to motivate you--if I knew I woulnd't be in this shape and I'd be a millionaire!! For me, it takes humiliation and fear of humiliation. I have to really get disgusted with myself to get started. I know I'm strong...and I know I can do this...so that negative mentality doesn't guide me through...it just gets me started.

I had my baby with zero pain meds...and I was WIDE awake for two solid days after she was born. In those two days I felt so powerful and so...STRONG! I swore that I could do anything...I knew it. I try to channel that. Wish I could bottle that feeling.

It's sad because the road ahead looks VERY long. I have 16 weeks til my in laws come to visit. That's helping to motivate me. Sort of. She thinks fat people are sub human...and I'm dead serious when I say that. So part of me wants to be a blob to spite her--but I really don't want that. I don't care to impress her...I just don't want her to have ammunition. And being judged for a solid week would kill me. Last time she visitied I was pregnant and she asked if I ever did nutri system. OMG.

Sooooo I'm thinking...Thanksgiving will be here before I know it. If I can stick with this for 16 weeks...that's hopefully 30 more lbs. I am thinking short term here.

16 weeks.

Wow, there's really only one word that comes to mind when you describe your in-law. But, unfortunately, it's not fit for discussion boards. Some people can be really cruel. :(

Oh Saikan - I feel for you & your impending visit. My MIL made a comment ONCE about dh's weight (basically that it was my fault he'd gained weight) & I LOST it on her (sooooo not like me). Told that yeah, we were fat, it was all my fat & that I didn't want to hear about it again. It worked - although I felt like a big jerk afterwards for being so rude - lol!

I think a huge source of my unmotivation right now is that it just feels neverending. I have hard time picturing it ever not being a struggle.

But today I started a new log for my diet/exercise/sleep & along with that I am going to start a list of reasons to stick with it & things I like about my body to help me stay focussed.

You're right - getting started is so much of the challenge.

Great idea.. and I love the list of reasons idea.

I'm not doing great these days. I can't stay away from the peanut butter :( I haven't exercised in a week and a half and I'm doing horrible putting my food in my fitday. Part of the fitday is that I'm trying to stay off the computer... maybe I should do it the old fashioned way... with a pencil and paper. I seem to never have enough sleep again all of a sudden. Cameron is still sleeping 10+ hours a night, but I find myself falling asleep while I'm nursing him like I did the first few weeks. Hard to believe he will be 3 months old in a few days!

Two things that helped me start counting cals better (since having a baby, getting to the computer and entering Fitday has been a challenge):

1. I always have a calendar on my fridge. I put a D for diet if I was on target, and I put an E for exercise if I did that (or R for run). Having that visual helps and I feel really ashamed if there are no initials on my calendar. I use a big black sharpie so it's very obvious where I'm slacking or if I'm rocking out that month.

2. I put a sticky note on that calendar every morning and have a pen stuck to fridge. I write down every time I eat something and keep my tally that way.

3. We survive on one paycheck basically, so live pretty modestly. BUT, I recently bought a blackberry. Weee! I downloaded a free app on it to keep up with calories. It's called Brio Calorie Tracker and it's very simple and straightforward. I can now put in my cals pretty much anywhere.

HOWEVER, this first week back to work has been brutal. Every single day is different. And every single day I'm bombarded with a table of sweets for breakfast. Lunches have been provided some days... Tomorrow is pot luck, Friday is lunch with colleagues. VERY difficult. I knew this week would be bad. It's the first time I haven't really been in control since May. I am not scared though--because I am in control. I AM.

Wow Kestrel, that is awesome. I'm nursing my 16 month old and plan to until she weans herself or goes to college, whichever comes first :D