Only you can decide what's best for you and your baby. You and your baby are going to be FINE! Breast feeding advocates can border on near-evangelism, so don't let them make you feel guilty or bad. Concentrate on what's important - your beautiful, healthy new baby!
Ignore them. All the pregnancy hormones have made the women posting on that forum go mad, lol. You have a medical condition and can't change that. Congrats on the baby!
You don't have to justify your choices to anyone. That being said, I certainly hope no one is giving you grief based on what you need to do for your health and your child's health. Don't feel guilty. And don't let anyone else make you feel guilty either.
Lots of us couldn't do it for whatever reason. Sometimes med conditions can prevent your milk from even coming in. I was under a lot of pressure until my pediatrician assured me that formula fed babies do just fine. What matters is that they are getting fed, growing, and have lots of love.
Maybe you are feeling bad because the choice was "taken away from you"?? You should not feel bad -- your job is to make sure your baby receives the best care possible, that all their needs are met and that they are loved -- breast feeding (or not) is a VERY small part of that job. I breast feed both my boys and am happy with my decision -- but it was MY decision. It isn't right for everyone, nor can everyone do it. I was terribly upset at the time when mom's in my childbirth class were looked down on for not doing it -- many had to return to work soon after the baby was born, were not comfortable doing it, etc. Having a baby is a personal choice, as is how you raise that child.
Having a baby will cause you guilt over many things you do -- that's their little, tiny job Enjoy the baby and pick a good formula!!
I was a breastfeeding mother, but with my second child, I had a situation where I had to stop nursing much sooner than I would have liked. My son, when he was only a couple of months old, was gravely ill and ended up in the intensive care unit. I was not allowed to feed him for a few days (he was on apparatus to help with breathing, and was getting sustenance through an IV)
The stress, and the lack of regular nursing caused my milk supply to plummet. I pumped a few times a day next to his bedside at the hospital religiously...but because of the stress I was under, it dried me up pretty good. (From what I read, the lack of the baby feeding, and the trauma I was experiencing made my body think that something HAPPENED to my son...and that I was done nursing, if you get the picture...) After he was released, I tried 24/7 nursing, taking fenugreek, and doing everything I possibly could to get my supply back up. I was nursing him, and then supplementing with formula. I fought for over a month to get my supply back up, every hour of every day. I was also giving my son aftercare at home-nebulizer treatments every couple of hours, etc.
I finally came to the realization that it was no longer going to work. I felt EXTREMELY guilty that nursing had been going so well...and then his hospitalization cut our nursing relationship short. I ended up having to switch to formula full time. I cried.
I UNDERSTAND. Some people don't think that nursing is all that important...but I do, and I was really disappointed about what happened. I just had to change my thinking, and tell myself that he nursed for his first two months, and I did everything humanly possible...and realize that it wasn't MY FAULT, it was the situation that I didn't ask for.
You didn't ask for your medical condition, and it isn't your fault that the specific medication that you need is not good for a nursing baby. That isn't your fault. It isn't like you aren't nursing "just because". You have a medical reason, and that isn't your fault.
I understand your feelings of guilt completely. I couldn't breast feed my 2nd baby and I went through so much desperately trying to and my midwife finally told me to let go of it and focus on keeping my baby happy. It was painful to let go of breastfeeding and I felt like crying every single time someone asked me if I was breastfeeding. After about six months, I stopped being so hard on myself and I let go. The funny thing is my second baby (who I did not breastfeed) is way more attached to me than my first who I did breastfeed.
Take it from a mom who has been there. I only breastfed for a few months. I had lumps out of my breasts many years ago and had to pump and every friggin' time to breastfeed. It was painful, it was awful. I only had one breast that could even produce milk. I got all the snide remarks too when I switched to formula.
My kids are smart, healthy and beautiful in every way. I have remained very involved with them as they have grown. They are on organic, whole foods diets, do extremely well at school and are socially acceptable. Funny, SO many of the crappy moms that made crappy comments can't say those things about their kids. I actually laugh at some of those people now (in my head) because I hear about some of the stuff their kids are doing. Whoa! I guess the breastfeeding thing didn't get them as far as mom hoped it would.
Do what works for you. Screw the rest of the moms that get into that "super mom" mindset. Its' the poor man's game of "keeping up with the Jone's." Don't hang with tongue waggers!
I felt that same guilt when I had to have c-sections with my second and third babies because of something I couldn't help....since that option was taken away by something you can't help it can just give you an overwhelming sense of guilt.
Try not to worry too much over it...in the end you will have a beautiful baby and it really won't matter to them if you breastfed or formula fed Just like it doesn't even cross my kids mind that I didn't push them out of a tiny hole lol
*hugs*
Oh yeah and I had to add....I breastfed all but my oldest and when they fight I don't hear "Mom breastfed me but she gave YOU the bottle!"
Last edited by TJFitnessDiva; 11-20-2008 at 09:17 AM.
I did breast feed my three boys, but my bestfriend had severe post partum depression, and was simply unable to breastfeed. She needed medication that was not safe for her baby. And her son is, perhaps, the most brilliant child I have ever met. I am not kidding...he was READING at 2 1/2, really. At age 5, he took home the piano book from his first lesson and came back the next week and asked for the next book...he could play ALL the songs. He was doing long division before kindergarten. His parents are not crazy, pushy people, he is just flippin', insanely bright -- child prodigy kind of smart.
While breastfeeding is good for your baby, being a loving, caring, attentive parent, is way more important. Just hold you head up high, feed your baby...and do what you need to for yourself and your family.
Congrats, by the way! I'm done having babies, and I'm jealous...
Don't feel bad about not being able to do it. I tried and tried with my son and he just wasn't getting enough so after 4 weeks he switched to formula and was much much happier. I want to with my next baby, but I have since had a breast reduction and was told that my chances of being able to do it are slim to none...just take care of you and the baby...don't stress over it.
I think breast feeding regardless of a medical condition, is your decision and no one elses. Alot of women choose to not breastfeed at all believe it or not. A little secret: There babies turn out just fine. I have 4 sisters all of us have kids...3 of us did and 2 of us didnt. My son was in the NICU and was fed through a feeding tube so i had to pump for over a month then became dry, it was very difficult . by the time I could try breastfeeding on him he got so frustrated so i just bottle fed. Its ok. Dont let other people get you down at all. You need the medicine so you can be healthy to take care of your beautiful, precious baby .
Last edited by calimodel1; 11-20-2008 at 04:40 PM.
I couldn't breast feed like a normal Mom because both of my nipples were inverted.I tried with the plastic suction nipple to place over my breast to help draw out the milk, but that didn't do anything and I had to use an electric pump to get the milk out- talk about exhausting. To add insult to injury, the third week after my oldest was born, we found out she had colic and I had to stop giving her my breast milk as she had to be put on a special formula.
With my son- I couldn't pump it out fast enough, and I was so tired from trying to keep up feeding him and chasing his two year old sister around- and believe me, she was a very active toddler! With my youngest child, I didn't even bother as I just didn't have the time to pump it out, with her siblings being 2 and 4 years old. Sure, I felt bad about that and wish things could have been different, but what can I do? I didn't ask to have inverted nipples, nor did I ask for my oldest to have colic.
I did, however, make my own baby food with a baby food grinder. Best investment I ever made, and I never worried about what chemicals was in the baby food. There's other ways to be a great Mom without breast feeding, so give yourself a break.
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