Hi guys.
I'm really sleepy, but went to my meeting tonight and felt like checking in.
Abstinence is solid. However, I was hungry today. I ran the checklist through my mind...am I angry, lonely, tired, isolating, working the steps, using the tools? I determined that I was tired and a bit lonely. So, I didn't eat and did step work instead. I ate dinner a little early, but am not hungry now.
I have been really aware of my compulsive diet soda drinking. I drink it to the point of feeling ill, bloated, and burping. It's not a good feeling, so I must do it because it's an addiction. I'm not willing to give it up currently. Maybe on another day...one day at a time. At the very least I'm aware, honest, and thinking about it. I also need to do some thinking about the excuse that the disease gives me: "It's the only vice I have left. It's not food. It doesn't lead to eating. What's so bad about it?"
I can relate as I used to absolutely guzzle the stuff too! Several years ago I pretty much gave it up and it was SUCH a wise decision. Can't imagine how I did it LOL -- but hang in there and don't give up.
Hi guys.
I'm really sleepy, but went to my meeting tonight and felt like checking in.
Abstinence is solid. However, I was hungry today. I ran the checklist through my mind...am I angry, lonely, tired, isolating, working the steps, using the tools? I determined that I was tired and a bit lonely. So, I didn't eat and did step work instead. I ate dinner a little early, but am not hungry now.
I have been really aware of my compulsive diet soda drinking. I drink it to the point of feeling ill, bloated, and burping. It's not a good feeling, so I must do it because it's an addiction. I'm not willing to give it up currently. Maybe on another day...one day at a time. At the very least I'm aware, honest, and thinking about it. I also need to do some thinking about the excuse that the disease gives me: "It's the only vice I have left. It's not food. It doesn't lead to eating. What's so bad about it?"
Marny, being tired is just the worst. It sucks everything right out of you, doesn't it? Good for you for determining what the problem was. That's just great, hon.
As for the diet pop... oh, I can relate to that one, too. And you're right... now is probably not a good time to give it up. You'll know when you're ready.
I hope you got a good sleep last night, and that today is better for you!
Today was okay. I felt a bit lonely. I saw my therapist, called my sponsor, and went shopping. Shopping helped the least...good to remember. I hope the lonely feelings are short lived. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's due to some old habits and coping mechanisms that I've been letting go of. I also have to keep in mind that I'm feeling feelings that I used to suppress with food.
At any rate I ran this morning and feel like I'm ready to do a mile next time I run. Tomorrow is yoga, so it will have to be Thursday. Those are blessings today.
I did get some pretty stuff on my little shopping spree today. Maybe I'll enjoy them even more tomorrow.
Marny, I am sorry that you have been having some rough days, but it does seem that you are coping pretty well! Be proud of that! As I go I am finding that other addictions and triggers are coming to the surface... things that I never really thought were a problem before, I am now having to stop myself from turning to those things for comfort. Some days I feel so solid and on other days things hit me pretty hard. Overall I am feeling pretty good and I KNOW that this program works. We just have to keep going and remember to "Let Go and Let God". Hugs to you! You are doing FANTASTIC!
Thanks water-
Great to hear from you. I've made a concerted effort these past couple of days to stay out of the house and keep busy. It's keeping my mind off going to dark places. However, I'm exhausted!
That's awesome that you can see yourself turning to other stuff for comfort. Seeing it shows reflection and honesty. I'm really working on seeking comfort from God instead of from "stuff" or people.
checking in
Good for you for determining what the problem was. 
That's just great, hon. 
