[Me23]

Oh thanks - I'm back from my travels now - I was in India, where a lot of my thinking comes from! I'm glad you guys found that useful anyway. Now I just have to lose the 4lb I gained whilst living off fried bread and vegetables for a month!

[Northgirl]

Originally Posted by hijude

I have an abusive daughter and I am in so much pain over her that I can not stop and look after myself.

Hi hijude -

It occured to me when I read this that you actually have more than one thing keeping you isolated. Being the victim of abuse is VERY isolating, too. I've been there and I know how lonely it can feel when you are trying to carry on a "normal" life in the face of abusive insanity. Have you considered going to an Al Anon meeting? These are meetings specifically for victims of abusers. Like OA it's completely anonymous and is an incredible place for support. When you walk in the room you are instantly surrounded by people that know EXACTLY how you feel.

It too is a split off from AA so you will find the 12 steps are very similar to OA.

Maybe finding support and ways to cope with your abusive situation will also help you deal with your eating issues. If you reduce the stress you might also be able to reduce your food issues?

Just a thought.

[RN BSN 2009]

*Hugs* I hope things work well for you. This really is a struggle. Please let us know about how you're doing.

[beerab]

Originally Posted by hijude

I am doing better. I have started to look at fixing my own life before worrying about anyone elses. I am doing the FAA food plan and it is tough but I can see some hope there.

Good for you hun!

I always remember the words "take care of yourself cuz no one else will."

It's so true- I'm working hard to lose weight while my husband goes out and brings cheeseburgers and other bad foods home- while I eat my grilled meats and salads that he should be joining me in, I think to myself "one day he's going to know what it's like to be fat and he'll realize he should have listened to me." He's already starting to get a gut and people are commenting to him

I used to not take care of myself because I wanted to make food my husband liked and that tasted good- then one day I realized he's a grown man and he can either eat what I cook or do his own thing. I stopped feeling bad that I wasn't cooking for him- I was like what about me!? Why am I not feeling bad for me?!

Back to my point- you can't help your daughter out- she's 28, let her crash and burn and do her own thing- you just take care of yourself.

Good luck!