[marny]

I've been struggling with consistency in working my program. I'll "feel like it" for a moment, and then won't for days. I know that this is a program of action. I know that if I do it, the feelings will follow. I know that I have to develop the habits. I know, I know, I know.

But, knowing it doesn't make it happen, and it certainly doesn't guarantee any form of desire or willingness.

I haven't been wanting to go to meetings, call anyone, or do work in any way.

Last night I took action. I got my booty to Wednesday night worship at my church. My higher power took me by the hand and led me through a whole series of honest emotions, and let me see myself clearly. I cried lots. Program has helped me to be able to cry in front of people without being horrified.

This morning I got up, went to my women's group and then to an OA meeting. This is what it used to feel like to work my program every day.

At my meeting today I shared that I've gained a few pounds. I went to put on a pair of jeans that I don't often wear and they didn't button... uh oh. I have not weighed myself. I think that would only serve to get me to obsess over numbers. Numbers aren't my goal. Fitting back into my jeans and tightening up my food plan and program are my goals.

I'm here. I'm writing, and I read, I prayed, I worshipped, I shared, I listened, I gave service at a meeting, and I 12th stepped today. It feels good to be in the action rather than just the thought of the action.

[KendraLynn]

It's great that you know what works for you. Good job staying on track today!

[tommy]

Thank you for sharing your kind of stumble in the journey and your recovery. I was absolutely blessed today to be at a Valentine's "party" and meet other women in recovery. As others were sharing about how yucky they felt from all the sugar I just gave an aside comment to the lady next to me about being "off sugar" and she asked me how long. I told her and she asked if I was in a 12 step program for it. We just quickly shared that we both wrote our food for he day down and that I still called a sponsor daily. This is a really pulled together lady and I felt so good. the power of connecting to others in our situation is priceless.

[junebug69]

marny,

thank you for being open, honest and transparent. it's much easier to hide than to come into the light, especially when we carry fear or guilt. thank you for stepping into the light! You are a testament to the power of what our HP will do for us once we lay down our will. I pray your program continues to be refreshed. You are a such a bright spot on my journey...so glad you are here!

[marny]

Thanks guys. I can't do it alone-- I need your support, and am so thankful to have it.

I'm sick and losing my voice, but it didn't stop me from singing along with my worship music in the car last night. I want to stay close to my higher power-- that's my safe place.

This morning, I've prayed for others, checked in here, listened and thoughtfully helped my husband, and once I'm off here, I'll finish up my prayers and devotion time. Today I'll make an outreach call and I'll read For Today.

I'm happy to share that I'm feeling fantastic about my tightened up food plan. I went out to eat last night, and I thoughtfully made choices and felt good about them.

I'm so thankful for all of you being here. You are a blessing to me.

[pamatga]

Although I have almost thirteen years of recovery with OA, I am always reminded at how much I have yet to learn.

I always know that I can take it up a notch. I need to but willingness keeps me from doing so. Step 6 is a toughie for me. So is Step 3!!

Thanks for sharing.