It's time for me to stop pretending. It's time for me to face the truth, as cold and hard as it is. This is where I belong.
I AM a compulsive over-eater, and I need help.
I've been trying so hard to lose the weight on my own; counting calories, Weight Watchers, exercising religiously. But then when the lights go off at night and the house is quiet, there I am, raiding the fridge and tearing apart the cabinets.
I can't do this anymore.
I have so much in my life to be happy about. I'm planning my wedding, I've got all this time to spend with my fiancee, I'll be graduating college soon. I've got all these big dreams, but then somehow, food gets in the way. I'm not happy unless I've got something in my mouth, and I hate how that feels.
It's time for me to face it--I can't do this alone anymore.
I have been binge free for almost 2 months so there is hope. Today was a rough day for me but what has really helped me is the support of my husband and my kids.
I told my husband (of 12 years!!) for the first time last month about my eating problem and at first he didn't get it but the more I explained and confided in him, he grew into this big wonderful supportive guy that I never thought he would be.
*shrugs*
Tell your guy. Explain the problem and if he doesn't get it, keep explaining. (in a none nagging way, of course) and stick with us here for support. We are going through the same thing you are and we are getting better.
*hugs*
I did sit down with him today and we talked about it for a long time. He's of the opinion that he loves me for who I am regardless of what I weigh, but he's willing to support me in whatever I decide to do.
And this is what I've decided to do.
There aren't any OA meetings reasonably close to me, as I live in the middle of freaking nowhere, but I'm going to manage as best I can, and maybe do some of the online meetings with TRG.
The 12 Steps and Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Workbook for 12 Steps
Abstinence
All three of them can be ordered from OA at www.oa.org. They will really help you with getting started especially since you don't have a face to face meeting.
I still have the Big Book back from my rehab days, and I figure I can utilize that somehow.
I'm definitely ordering the 12 Steps and Traditions sometime soon, and the other will surely come once I get a paycheck.
Just finally admitting that I need help has left me feeling so much more...empowered, hopeful even. I'm well aware how hard this is going to be, but it's worth it.
I'm worth it.
You are definitely worth it! This will work if you are willing to follow our path and be completely honest with yourself (paraphrase of chapter 5 of the big book). You are demonstrating that you want to be completely honest with yourself and others. Way to go!
It's paradoxical: admitting you're powerless and reaching out for help will bring you more strength than you ever imagined you'd have. Just keep doing the next indicated thing, okay? Baby steps is a good mantra.
Sara - of course you are worth it... and don't ever stop believing that! =) i reached your point of admitting that i really do have a problem just a few weeks ago, and i'm very glad i found OA. there is something empowering in finally acknowledging there is a problem. definitely keep in touch with fellow OAers, even if there's no meeting near you. it's great that your fiancee is supportive, but it's hard for people who don't have this problem to really understand.
Welcome to the forum. Great to read your post – your willingness to be well really shines through.
You remind me that COE is a deadly disease, and comes from deep within us, which can be so confusing when on the outside, it would seem like we have so much abundance and love in our lives.
For me, that means that recovery is an ‘inside job’. WW did not work for me, I need a more spiritual-based solution and I believe I have found it in OA. I need a lot of help to stay abstinent, because the world can seem like a very materialistic place where I am constantly bombarded with adverts and temptations to ‘medicate’ with food that is not good for my body or my soul.
My deep abiding hope is that I can stay connected to you good people so that I can heal from the soul-destroying illness of COE. Keep in touch. Best wishes
Ok, time for me to stop pretending...
