I really struggled with the term powerlessness too. I remember coming back from my first OA meeting and saying to DH, "I'm not powerless over anything. How insulting! That's ridiculous." After a lot of reflection, I now see that I am powerless over food. I don't see this powerlessness as a negative thing necessarily, because I can control my problem one day at a time with the help of all the tools of OA and my higher power.
Addicts, by nature, are powerless over whatever it is that they are addicted to. If they were not, they'd be able to put down the drink, drugs, food, etc. without any problem. I consider myself an addict, and I know that I turn to food at times of stress, boredom, loneliness, and anger. Heck, I often turn to food for reasons that I cannot even understand. Food has a very strong hold over me and it always has. It is the first thing that my mind automatically thinks to do when hit by negative emotions. It has also helped me avoid dealing with these emotions in more positive ways.
I'd dig deep and do some reading from the OA literature. Maybe attend a meeting and see how it goes. After reading Step 1 in the book The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA, I was convinced that I was powerless over food. Maybe you'll see that you too feel powerless over food. Perhaps you will learn that you are not at all powerless. I think it takes some deep reflection to make the determination.
greetings, heather! i'm three weeks into OA and i definitely still struggle with the concept of saying that i am "powerless." currently i think of it more as "i need help" than "i am powerless." it sounds more acceptable to me. i don't find it devaluing to me as a woman... for one thing there are men in both OA and AA and i don't find this statement specifically directed to females, but i do find the idea of saying i am powerless over something like eating disconcerting. in a way, though, i suppose we are ALL ultimately powerless over eating as we need to do so to live and eventually our biological and biochemical systems will take over and we instinctually will gravitate toward food.
That’s interesting about the feminist perspective on powerlessness as devaluing women – in an academic sense, I’d love to read about that – do you know who wrote about it?
I have to say that I needed my rock-bottom around food so I could see and feel and touch my powerlessness – and from there become willing to heal as only a person in desperation can be willing! Ironically, I'd be feminist in principle, yet in my experience, I believe my powerlessness did not diminish me in value, but has increased my sense of self-worth. Today, I nourish my body and my soul and feel worthy of good food.
Like Ann shared, it’s tough to feel the ‘power’ of my powerlessness. I too had huge resistance. I saw myself as a fighter, a survivor and very independent. But my independence was a bit of a joke because it was all bound up in food. Oh sure I could be feisty and independent, as long as I had my comfort food to keep me going. As long as I had my food-fix so I did not feel the feelings of loneliness or fear or whatever else was going down.
But when the food bit back at me, I hit bottom, and there was only one way out of that pit. I had to reach up out of my powerlessness and seek help from a power greater than myself. I found that, miraculously, through people suffering from the same disease of compulsive overeating.
Funny enough, I’m comfortable with my powerlessness today. Because of my powerlessness, I’m compelled to connect with good and kind and positive people in the light of recovery. And that is a positive and POWERFUL blessing.
Thanks, you all are great. I do like, "I need help"
I told my husband I was checking out OA, and their meetings, and he said, "you don't overeat." I do at times have difficulty not eating after I'm full. I hardly ever binge, very rarely.
Either way I'd love to change the way I regard food, and just be very healthy, get in better shape, and lose weight for myself.
"OA has been the target of severe feminist criticism for its encouragement that bulimic and binge eating women accept powerlessness over food. They claim that the perception of powerlessness adversely affects women's ongoing struggle for empowerment. Similarly, they claimed that teaching people they are powerless is liable to encourage passivity and prevent binge eaters and bulimics from developing coping skills. Moreover, these effects would be most devastating for women who have suffered oppression, distress, and self-hatred. In these criticisms Twelve Step programs are described as inherently male organizations that force female members to accept self-abasement, powerlessness, external focus, and rejection of responsibility inherent — qualities attributed to male religion and politics. Surrender is described as invoking images of women passively submitting their lives to male doctors, teachers, and ministers. Alternatively, they suggest that women would do better to focus on pride rather than on humility"
Last edited by HeatherRose; 08-30-2007 at 03:26 AM.
Just because we are powerless doesn't mean we lack self-control. Some of us [OAs] have a great deal of self control, and through white-knuckling it have managed to maintain a normal weight. But their lives are still consumed with thoughts of food, with food management, and food behaviors. Powerless means that if we let go our rigid controls, food will always come back. We will turn to food the second our guard is down. After all, if we really had the power in this relationship, would we need to live such strict, controlling lives?
Maybe that will offer a slightly different perspective? In all of my meetings there's never been any sort of differentiation or recognition of gender. You're not powerless because you are female and bulimic--there are male bulimics at my meetings, too. You're powerless because you have turned away from your HP and given that power to food. It's got nothing to do with being female. And I've never heard the part about women being encouraged to submit to male doctors, teachers, and ministers. That just isn't a part of OA.
I wonder if the person who wrote the Wikipedia entry has gone to a meeting?
I struggled very much with step one when I first came to OA ten+ months ago. I had never read the feminist interpretation of OA's step one but kind of had my similar thoughts.
My HP is not traditional in a religious sense. I believe and study the thought that I am not a powerless person. When I am willing to surrender to my HP I become powerful through God/spirit/universe.
I had to admit that in regard to food I have been pretty darn powerless in my life. Like Sidhe said, I gave away a lot of my power to food. I do need help and with OA I'm getting it and finally seeing some healing and recovery like I've never had in my life thus far (after trying almost everything out there).
Because of my addiction to food I feel that I am more aware of myself, others, and feelings than ever before. So in a sense the powerlessness over food became a gift and I am now more empowered to be who I was meant to be and to give back authentically. Strange as that seems.
I had to try not to get into the semantics of the first step words. The Big Book says we can take what we want, leave the rest. That's what I decided to do in regard to step one. I take the fellowship, support, understanding and healing that I get from OA, not the word semantics.
Interesting and fun discussion. Thanks Heather and welcome to you
Powerlessness, huh?
