[CrispyMama]

If I was at a meeting right now, this is what I would say.

I attended my first OA meeting in 2003. I went to meetings on and off for years. Then in 2005 I got serious, got a sponser and tried to be abstinent. I could only follow my plan for a week or 2 or 3. Never reaching the 30 day mark I left program even though I had lost 30 pounds over 5 or 6 months.

A year later (fall 2006) I realized I needed program, I went back, became abstinent and followed my commitment for 4 months, loosing the same 30 pounds again.

Then I found a book I had purchased long ago but never read while unpacking called Overcoming Overeating. Curious, I started reading. Long story short, it lead me to decide to try another path. It was that path that promises normal eating and normal weight if I just learn to love myself, love my body, and become connected to myself.

That was March, now it is August I am again lost and ashamed and have gained back much weight. I have been considering weight loss surgery but I know that will not heal my compulsion. The desperation I felt this morning led me to pray, something that is hard for me to do. Prayer led me to read my old journal, to read my thoughts over the last year. and that led me back to OA and back to this board.

I want peace, I want hope, I want happiness.

I have marked a meeting to attend on my calender. It is scary to go back, to feel ashamed over my choice to leave.

Thanks for listening, or I should say reading .

[Magic Flute]

Welcome back Crispy Mama,
Your story is my story. I am so happy you will be going to a meeting. I know the moment you sit down and the meeting begins you will feel like you have come home.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Bumps

[searsha]

Hi Crispy-Mama,
I’m so glad you posted your message, because when I was in the depths of despair, and having tried OA before, I started to read the posts here and got some little glimmer of hope from reading them.

The healing really commenced once I started to share. And very soon, I found myself back in the OA rooms, because I needed the f2f. OA seemed to be more open and relaxed – or maybe it was me who came to it with a more open mind.

I wish you well – and like Bumps said – I hope you keep posting here.

I can relate to the shame – but OA tells me that I’m not a bad person just because my recovery takes time to take shape and become part of me. COE was a huge part of us. The AA big-book tells me that ‘no human power can remove my disease’. I believe my COE will have it’s solution on a spiritual path. I can already see the solution working in my life.

All the best,

[charlenej]

Hi Crispy Mama!

Great to hear from you again; I do remember you

Please don't be ashamed. Noone is here to judge you. We've all had our trials with food and recovery. It takes courage to come back and I'd give you a big hug if I could

You aren't alone. You can get well, physically and spiritually. You can

I can't remember if you have meetings near you or not? I would urge you to get to as many meetings as possible.

There is a woman at my meetings who was struggling in and out of OA. She always looked like a wreck, so emotional and down on herself for not being able to stay with program. She has a significant amount of weight to lose and can't walk or climb stairs due to her weight without a cane. Her sponsor told her if she wanted to continue with her she needed to do 90 meetings in 90 days. She thought she was crazy but didn't want to lose her sponsor. She's on her 80th something meeting (face to face, online, & phone). What a drastic change I've seen in this woman! She is confidant, happy, spiritually fit and losing weight. She actually glows. She calls it a miracle and is so thankful for her sponsor recommending the 90 in 90 days. Just thought I'd share.

Keep coming back!

xo
Charlene

[CrispyMama]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words.

I am feeling better today, still lost and scared, but better.

I know at some point in the future I will look back and see what I was suppose to learn from this time in my life. There is no shame in learning and that is what mistakes are.

I try so hard to tell my kids that mistakes are good, that's how you learn. Funny I can't seem to accept that for myself.

Thanks again.

[marny]

Hey there crispy mama!!
So great to have you back again!

I recommend getting out your Big Book and reading Ch.5 How It Works.

If you are willing, post what new insights it brings to you.

I'm really glad that you're back.