firstly im a male, and i came here cause it seems ther is nothing really for guys
anyway
i used to be 94kgs, eating macdonalds BK and any and everything bad,
heavy butter, and sauces, taking no consideration as to wat i eaten
i didnt know i was 94kgs untill i weighted my self and was in shock.
the last time prior was 83kgs 1 month earlier,,,
i always thought i wouldnt be fat but suddenly i realised i was,
then and there i made a packed with myself that i would loose all the fat
at first i was smoking P and loosing a light bit from having no abitite *which i dont smoke anymore*
then it turned into throwing up food.
it soon got worse and i was throwing up nearly everymeal,
yet before each meal i was telling my self "il just keep this one down"
which never did happen,,,as after depression and regret would kick in, leaving me no choice ....
soon enough i was loosing kg's left right and centre
and had gotten down to a 67kg figure , not looking overly thin but very slim
, my nose had started to bleed now from my left side everytime i would throw up, leaving a discusting mess of food and blood in the toilet and leaving my red face looking battered and beaten..
i slowly turned my throwing up* into only throwing up bad stuff, and keeping good stuff down, as i am a EX-food-a-holic, not eating my favorite things wasnt going to work.....
so every 2nd or third day, i would have a patheticaly oversized meal until
i basicly looked pregnant, and could barley breath without pain, and i couldnt controll the speed i was eating so fast i need drinks to wash it down my throat,
now 7 months down the track i still weight 67kgs and only throw up every 2-3 weeks, and eat more bad things, i.e the odd biscuit or chip, and keep down the healthy meals my mother makes.
today i just overeaten , starting with a healthy lunch, then noticing a large bag of chips in the pantary, eating them all and downing it with wat other snacks i could find, then going back to the toilet and throwing up again .. my nose bleeding everywhere, and feeling like crap again.....
i dont know why but im so affraid to go back to fat in anyway, i cannot remeber looking this good since i was 10 years old, and i am 19 now,
is there anyone else out there that compusivly over eats or has oversized binges in the middle of the night?, am i alone?...anyway
thanks for reading my crap ,,, but finaly iv let it all out...
Welcome to the site. I hope that you find some support here and some information that will help you on your way to healing.
You most certainly are not alone in your disease.
I honestly am concerned that you may have ruptured your esophagus w/ all the purging. It may be partially healing inbetween throwing up sessions and re-injurying it when you purge. This is serious and I highly recommend you get to the doctor pronto.
We all have our demons when it comes to food, how me manage what we eat, how we get rid of it or don't. The stories are never ending. I have just joined Overeaters Anonymous in the states. I am not sure that they have them where you live, but you can go to the OA site and look. www.oa.org Please start seeking out people who understand your struggles. You may look good, but you are killing yourself.
Overeating, binging, purging are all aspects of our disease. There is hope out there. There is a way out and a way to have a healthy body without abusing your body!!!!
Good luck to you, and keep us posted if you would like.
I too overeat to the point of being so stuffed it hurts! I have thought of throwing it up, but have never allowed myself to do that because I think if I did it even once - I would be hooked and wouldn't be able to stop myself.
It is really hard to be overweight - that is for sure. Not only do I feel unattractive, but I also feel unhealthy. I think that has to be included in the goal of a diet or food program - to feel healthy too.
I will offer my opinion - only because you seem to be reaching out - I think you should seek professional assistance. You aren't the only one that is handling things this way - because you are bleeding, etc., you could be causing irrepairable damage to your body - your mind is also affected. There is help out there and you shouldn't have to battle this alone.
I wish you health and success! I am pulling for you!!!
Welcome to the site. Men are very welcome both here and at OA meetings. Compulsive overeating is a disease. Binging and purging are part of the disease. It doesn't matter how much or how little fat we are wearing on our bodies, the disease is an obsession of the mind, an allergy of the body, and an illness of spirit.
You are not alone. You are not the only person who feels this way, does these things, or feels at a loss of what to do. That's what OA is all about. It provides support, fellowship, a program of recovery, tools to cope with our feelings, sponsors to guide us, and meetings for consistency and accountability.
I highly recommend that you find out where and when your local OA meeting is and attend. Get a copy of "The 12 Steps and Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous". Read step one. You will probably feel like it was written about you.
thanks guys, i erally do appreciate the help,,, my nose started bleeding randomly at work today *chef* and it really was pouring out, . may i ask
wat it means and how it mayy affect me without seeing a doctor,,,
thanks again, and im really glad i joined this forum,
best wishes.....
Your bloody nose may be caused from broken blood vessels inside your nose, most likely from vomiting. Vomiting can also rupture your esophagus, vessels in your eyes and across your cheeks and cause other serious complications.
I broke a vessel once in my nose (not from vomiting) but the bleeding was pretty substantial off and on for a month or so. I also have broken capillaries around my nose--I'm not sure if they are from bulimia or not. I was a "sporadic" bulimic in my 20's (I'm 39 now) and had problems with my esophagus, but because I was singing professionally at the time, that was enough for me to quit purging, but I still continued to binge and starve until October of last year.
Going to OA is the one of the best things I've ever done. One of my meetings is half male. The support I receive there, the friends I've made, and the people I'm able to help because of my own experience has been life-changing. My life is happy and when it's not, I'm learning other ways to cope. I'm productive, active, energetic. Awesome!
Please get help. You deserve to be well and not live life in pain.
I did a little research via the internet and what I have found is not good news. There is a high probability that you have ruptured the blood vessels within your espophagus and/or your nasopharaynx (behind you nose). These can both lead to significant medical complications. I highly recommend you get to see a doctor a.s.a.p.!! Please just take the time, spend the money, etc....to get the help you need.
You are in my thoughts! Let us know how you are doing.
cant controll myself...
