Does anyone else feel self-conscious about people finding out that you're doing WW (or that you're trying to lose weight at all)?
A couple of nights ago, my friend and I went out to dinner at Chili's (their Guiltless Grill is actually pretty good, and moderate in points). I took out my little WW journal and was writing down the points, and just then the waitress arrived with our food. I felt like I'd been caught with my pants down!
Then, on Superbowl Sunday, we were spending time with friends who (meaning well) kept on offering me pizza...and chips and salsa...and other various yumminess.... But I knew that I shouldn't, so I kept declining... I felt embarrassed, though, because they kept encouraging me to enjoy the food and I kept declining...
Trying to get healthy is certainly nothing to be ashamed about, so why am I so scared for people to know about what I'm doing? Is it just that I don't want people to know because then if I slip-up, my personal failure becomes a public failure? Is it because admitting that you want to change your body makes you vulnerable? What are your thoughts?
I know what your saying, unfortunately my DH has no shame (he's doing ww with me.) . There's just no hiding it for me...just this weekend we went to a family baby shower and he brought his digital scale with him when it was time to eat he yelled across the house asking me how many "points I wanted to spend" (gawd love him was getting me a plate so I could avoid the buffet!)
So everyone knows and I think it bothers me a little for a few reasons.
First being that people feel free to give me advice on weird diets that I should be using instead, or saying oh I tried ww it didn't work for me blah blah blah
The other things that bothers me is that I don't mind being held accountable but if I PLAN for and have the points for a desert I don't need anyone saying are you sure you should be eating that? Aren't you on a diet?
yup, i feel the same way -- whenever I log into the daily plate at work, i get self conscious that someone will see.
I think it's because it's a way of admitting that you need help -- you can't just lose weight on your own. I think that's what embarrasses me. Honestly, though, that's a guess. All I can say is that I understand exactly what you mean!!
I HATE telling people I'm on WW or losing weight or what have you. The DH needs to know, of course, because I need to have him by my side on this. I told my sister because I asked her to make sure I went to my first WW meeting just after she got home from hers (I needed the kick in the butt). I told my close friend here in town because she eats terribly and in her company I've really put on weight -- so I had to tell her I can't go on like that anymore.
Otherwise, I haven't *chosen* to tell anyone. My sister told my stepmother... And her first question to me is, "have you tried Alli? I bet it's easier than WW." My coworkers don't know and I really don't know how I'm going to handle when people start noticing.
I think it's because I'm insecure about my weight/appearance to begin with, and when people know what I'm trying to do, it puts the focus on the very thing I'm trying to get out of the spotlight. I don't want people to think about the fact that I need to lose weight -- I think about that and that's enough. They're just there to work with me, not talk about my body.
I also agree with the not wanting to be "policed" -- Oh, looks like a salad again for Jaime, she's on a diet. (Hrm, what happens if I LIKE the salad I make? I love a good bed of spinach with some blueberries and walnuts on top, ya know.) Oh, Jaime, aren't you on a diet? Should you really eat that cookie? (This cookie is ACCOUNTED for, and it's the only thing that's going to keep me sane this afternoon.) Etc. I hate that. No one seems to get it's all about balance, not about deprivation.
Then there's also the valid point that's been brought up regarding failure -- I don't want to "spread the word" and then have it discovered that I haven't been successful, or I haven't met someone's definition of losing weight in a proper time frame, etc.
It's something that I generally like to keep to myself I choose who I let in on it, and those are usually the people who are there to unconditionally support me (family, best friends, etc). Everyone else... coworkers, acquaintances, passers-by... they can mind their own for now
I think it's because I'm insecure about my weight/appearance to begin with, and when people know what I'm trying to do, it puts the focus on the very thing I'm trying to get out of the spotlight. I don't want people to think about the fact that I need to lose weight -- I think about that and that's enough. They're just there to work with me, not talk about my body.
This is exactly the reason I don't like telling people. It does embarrass me a little. I have lost about 13 pounds and because it's not super noticeable, sometimes I think people might not believe me. I told one of my best friends the other day and she was really surprised (in a nice way) and then we had a discussion about the beloved mini-stepper, as after I glowed on about mine, she bought last year. If I fail (which I won't this time!!!) I don't want people to think that I wasn't able to do it or that I am destined to be a bit chunky and have no dedication. I am doing this for me and not for other people, so generally I don't tell them. My housemates know and just chuckle, in a light-hearted way, when I weigh my potato chips or eat a WW meal, but it's working and that's what counts.
There's just no hiding it for me...just this weekend we went to a family baby shower and he brought his digital scale with him when it was time to eat he yelled across the house asking me how many "points I wanted to spend"
OK, ChunkyDunker, this is just too hilarious. At least you've got a great support system and an excellent sense of humor!
I feel like the policing thing is probably the worst, and I didn't even mention it in my initial post. I couldn't tell you how many times (even as a child) people said to me "do you really think you should be eating that?" It's humiliating! And if I am having something that looks yummy, don't assume it's bad for me, and even if it is, I have allocated points for it that day, so just butt out! OK. Rant over.
But you all brought up another great point, as well. Eventually, it will become more and more obvious (here's hoping, right) that I'm losing. At that point, people may begin to ask me about it. What do you do then?
I don't advertise it. Just the very few close people who need to know so they don't think I'm crazy-go-nuts.
It comes down to it being a part of my life, but not my whole life. So I don't want to be "that fat chick on a diet". And, really, that many people can't care. If a co-worker came up to me and said "I'm on a diet", I'd say "That's nice, best of luck."
I haven't had ANYONE notice. This is both amusing & disappointing. I figure, another 50 lbs and someone's got to at least have noticed even if they don't say anything. If someone does ask, I may briefly tell them "eating less, exercising more."
Unfortunately, I've been through this a few times, so I've been through the not wanting anyone to know part and wanting to share my joy part. When someone would ask how did I lose the weight, I'd say "I'm sorry to tell you, I ate less and exercised more, there's no magic bullet"
This time we had the @work program and my new co-worker who was getting married talked me into joining and trying again. She was just so upfront about it to other people in the office when we went to meetings and started walking, I started thinking, what is the big deal. This is part of me, like Faerie says, it's not all of me, but it is part of me. It's my lifestyle.
I felt that insecurity, like I don't want to tell anyone in case I don't do it right, or quit again, but now I feel very secure that success is on the horizon, I have changed my lifestyle.
I'm not shouting on the rooftops that I'm a WeightWatcher, but if someone asks me how I'm doing it, I tell them WW. I figure they're looking for help and this is something that works. Maybe I might inspire them to live healthier, who knows. I'm getting older, too, and like my mother, the older I get the less I care what other people think about what I do.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with the journey, we each have to find what we're comfortable sharing with others. I've gotten where I take my slider out in the grocery store and figure out the points for some things when I'm deciding whether to buy or not. I used to feel funny about that, but there's alot of things other people do that has me wondering what the heck they're up to, so let them wonder what I'm doing!
I'm proud of you all! You're doing what you need to do for yourselves.
I agree with kellijpa. I don't want anyone to know because I don't want them to start looking at what I'm eating (whether healthy or unhealthy) and asking. I think it's a private issue/battle that I have with my weight. A few coworkers know because I joined at work but they don't ask any questions.
In a bizarre moment of openness, I told my parents and sister. Now, they ask about it all the time. I finally told them that I don't want it to be a topic of discussion. It's like when I quit smoking (both times) -- I'm a private person and it's a private thing.
You know, it's funny, I lost ~30 lbs doing Weight Watchers and kept it off for 2+ years prior to getting pregnant. Back then, I didn't mind if anyone knew I was dieting or watching what I ate. I really think the reason I wasn't embarassed was because I was very successful in a fairly short amount of time and maintained my slimmer self well.
This time around (postbaby) I'm really struggling and don't want people to know I'm dieting outside of my DH and one or two close friends. I think the reason I don't want to spread it around is because I'm really struggling, I keep gaining and losing the same 3 or 4 pounds. Committing and sticking to a diet has been really hard; I've been starting and restarting trying to lose this weight over the last few months. I'm embarassed because I don't want to seem like I'm "crying wolf", you know the girl who's constantly on a diet but never seems to lose weight.
I haven't felt so bad about telling people. If I don't know the person I get a little embarrassed, but usually I am okay with telling people all about WW and how it works. I get really excited over the whole points formula and calculating points that I have actually gotten other people to look at their nutritional information on foods they were eating and calculate how many points they were eating! Sometimes when I get ebarrassed I will tell people that I am a self proclaimed diet queen since I have tried every diet under the sun.
Just keep your eye on the prize and stay excited... that will show people that you have the confidence to diet without shame!
Oh man...I feel this topic! I am in the camp with those that have done this before and am back again. I am really embarrassed that I let myself get to this point. I was dating DH and he LOVED to eat and loved to take me out to eat...and well...after 3 years of what I call the non-stop-happy-party I am back up there!!! Ugh. I hope that I will look back at my wedding pictures with sort of a bitter sweet feeling...the most wonderful day, but I can't believe I was SO big!
Anyway...THIS time I have actually told a few people. I am annoyed that my mom monitors what I eat whenever she is around to see it, and obsesses about what she could or should fix food-wise if we come over to her house, she is a lifetime skinny person, but is married to my dad who IS not. My mom tries to be understanding and I know she means well, but lets face it, if someone has NEVER been obese, they really cannot understand what it is like.
WW did work for me before and I KNOW it will work this time. DH is supportive and has to eat WW meals with me at dinner so he is on board. My SIL has lost and maintained a loss of 70 lbs for over 7 years so she is good support. And I am posting honest, soul-bearing stuff on this board and the WW boards for the first time in my life. Having been a private person all my life I figure that might be part of my problem, I am too private...and I have been over-eating in private... so at least here, semi-anonymously, I am putting it out there! I have told one close girlfriend but I am absolutely closed mouthed at work. They saw me lose before and gain it all back...and I just want to do what I need to do with no comment.
When I looked dramatically different before (having lost 70 lbs) I did say...it is hard work..eating less, exercising more. No magic pill. I would not and will not tell people "how much" I have lost. For some reason people think that is an acceptable question to ask someone.
Anyway, good luck to all on your renewed determination to succeed!
Wow I can relate to all of these post. I was embarrassed at first and didn't tell anyone. It was after people kept pulling me aside and asking me if I was very ill because I was losing so much weight, I realized I would much rather tell them about my healthy new lifestyle than have them pray for me and my family and my new illness that I wouldn't disclose to anyone. It was hard to convince people I meant to lose weight. I know I was embarrassed in case I couldn't do it. I know that when I am struggling with losing weight, and people are trying to help me lose weight I think oh man why did I tell anyone.
I also find that people often tell me to buy Alli, and other weight loss products. I have to keep remembering that eating less, and moving more is and will continue to work for me.
Good luck to everyone.
I'll say I'm on WW, but won't say how much I've lost.
I learned a lesson from last time I lost, which was 85 pounds, 4 years ago. I saw an aunt at a funeral, and I hadn't seen her for years. When someone standing near us asked how much weight I'd lost, and I said 85 pounds, my aunt said, "Oh my God! How much did you weigh BEFORE!" I told her I don't give out that info, and left her standing there.
So, yes, if it comes up, I'll mention I'm on WW. In real life, I tell only those close to me how much I've lost. Here on the boards, it's different.
Wow. I just wanted to chime in and say I completely agree with what so many of you have said -- I share all these insecurities, worries about people wanting to get up in my business, etc. I totally feel embarrassment and even shame about letting my weight get to this point, and I agree with what a few of you have said about bringing up weight loss and having the thing you want most to hide/ignore be brought into the spotlight.
At the same time, it's a weird conflict, because I think most people would be really supportive of my weight-loss efforts and would be happy to know about them, but I don't really feel inclined to share. Interesting!!!
Are you embarrassed?
when it was time to eat he yelled across the house asking me how many "points I wanted to spend" (gawd love him was getting me a plate so I could avoid the buffet!)
and I think it bothers me a little for a few reasons.
My coworkers don't know and I really don't know how I'm going to handle when people start noticing.
OK. Rant over. 
