Yeah it sucks at first. I sucked it up after a while. I can't hide the fact I am fat, so I am not hiding the fact I am trying to become healthy. Don't worry what anyone thinks. At least you are doing something about it. That's awesome!
It's funny what people think is ok to say or ask other people. For the longest time, when I was in my 20s and 30s people kept asking "when are you getting married? having kids?" I'd say when I meet the right guy, well, I was 39 when I got married, so that was quite a few years of that!
When I had lost the weight and then gained it back there was one guy at work who said a few times to me "I see you've put some of that weight back on" erg... Recently a guy said to me "It looks like you lost some weight, that's good, as long as you don't get crazy with it" I said "thanks, I'm staying healthy that's why it's taking so long".
But I think, I never say anything like that to anyone, why do some people feel the need to say out loud whatever's in their brain...
I do find that this time I don't feel like saying the exact number of lbs. I've lost is necessary, I guess I had to learn that just because someone asks you a question, you don't have to give them a specific answer. You'd think after 40+ years of reading Dear Abby and Miss Manners I'd have figured that out...
It's no secret that I'm fat. And it's no secret that I need to lose weight. Anyone who LOOKS at me knows that. So don't you think I know that TOO? I hate when someone, especially FAMILY MEMBERS (it's ALWAYS family I swear) tell you that you need to lose weight. It's like "NO ISH! Really? LAK OMG I DIDN'T KNOW!"
I have this one uncle, every Christmas, Thanksgiving, or other family event whenever I am getting my plate of food he is always like "What is this? Your second plate?" Or be like "No, no... you don't need all that!" Or some crap. It's HUMILIATING. He does it in front of EVERYONE. He's NATURALLY skinny. He'll probably NEVER be fat, even if he TRIED. Not everyone is like him, or his kids... not everyone can just "be skinny".
And what I hate when is when "skinny" people tell you that you need to exercise when THEY don't even exercise. If they're not motivated, what makes you think I should be? Practice what you preach. And just because you're not fat, it doesn't mean you're healthy.
So when I try to lose weight I hate telling people. I don't want anyone's comment, or advice. I rather them I think I don't care that I'm fat and that it doesn't bother me. Or just see me lose the weight. Even when people ask me if I have lost weight I just say "NO" and move on.
I definitely used to feel this way. I used to feel like letting other people know I was trying to lose weight was acknowledging I knew I had a flaw. I had a lot of trouble doing that. But I also failed at losing weight every time.
So this time, everyone I know knows I'm trying to lose weight. So I can share my struggles and victories with them. Plus, it makes me so much more accountable. I'm really happy I've been open about it this time.
Great thread -- and wow, can I relate to so much of what many of you have said!
I'm telling very few folks...and not going into any detail, either. My size is just a personal thing to me, however visible it is to the public. I don't want monitoring (except from hubby who isn't formally dieting, but is enjoying the "eating healthier" part -- he helps me when I'm waffling and weak) and I don't want to give progress reports. I'm trying to limit my "public" discussion to stuff around just needing to get in shape for work I've got planned for this year. I figure if I limit the conversation to "getting healthy," the issue of pounds/diets/fat should be side-stepped.
(Years ago, when I'd lost my post-baby weight, a colleague actually asked me if I'd been seriously ill -- as if I couldn't have worked hard to lose the weight! Sheesh, people can be so...off.)
My bottom line (hee-hee) is that my weight is nobody's business. And I'm only sharing my journey with people I trust!
I get embarrased when people start to notice that I'm shedding pounds. I want to be able to loose it without them knowing, which does'nt make sence really. I'm a big girl and sooner or later they are going to see the difference. Problem is once they do they are watiching you like a hawk and contantly asking how much I've lost. I should be happy that they care enough to ask but I've failed so many time in past efforts so somehow it's unwanted attention.
Funny, today so many people seemed to be noticing my WL, I wanted to just say "quit looking at me!" A few asked how many lbs. I lost, I still find m uncomfortable saying how much I lost. I feel like, this is me now, what does it matter about how much of the old me is missing. Does that make any sense?
I have no problem with telling them WW, but I feel funny saying how much, I said about 30, but I feel kind of on the spot when I have to come up with a number. And of course, got a couple of those "you're getting too skinny" funny, my bmi still says I'm overweight, I just got out of "obese" recently and now I'm too skinny??!!
When I was talking to my friend at lunch, I said "they don't know what's under my shirt" we were laughing about that.
DH says overweight has become the norm, so people don't know what normal size people are supposed to look like.
I just feel like all of sudden I'm under a microscope, like now I'm going to be anorexic, no chance of that thanks for letting me vent!!
I feel your pain! I work with a bunch of skinny people that say things like "it what you put in versus put out" "it's easy" it's not hard". I'm getting better at it not hurting as bad, but there are days! We all have to keep going and remember it is for US and our well-being, not there's!!! This is my turn to prove that I can do it!!!!
No one seems to get it's all about balance, not about deprivation.
This is what I would have posted. The thing people don't realize is that Weight Watchers is not really a diet, it's how you should really eat! Hubby saw me eating Frosted Flakes one night and said the "Should you be eating that" thing, and I explained to him that not only had I planned for this little treat before I went to bed, that Frosted Flakes have no fat, and the FF milk was a requirement. He was stunned.
Four years ago when I lost 25 pounds in six weeks without telling anyone I was on WW, a co-worker finally asked me if I was losing weight. I don't know why I was embarrassed, but I was! I guess it has to do with being embarrassed that I had to lose it in the first place.
I treat WW like I do the 12-step program I'm in. People who need to know, do, and others just don't need to know.
The worst offender is my MOTHER! I'm 56 years old and feel like 12 when she starts. "Maybe you should just eat less points." She just doesn't understand the concept. And I hate it when people know and they ask "How are you doing on your diet?" That's why I choose very carefully who I tell. Unfortunately, I told my mother and that's the first thing she says every time she calls me now.
A few years ago, I was at a picnic at my sister's, and her mother in law saw me with my plate and a diet soda. Now, this woman and her entire family have been morbidly obese their whole adult lives, have never made an attempt to lose it, and she says to me "Oh, I think it's really funny when people have a big plate of food and a diet soda." Well, first of all, it WASN'T "a big plate of food," and secondly, why add 200 calories to a meal if you don't have to? I really wanted to punch her.
There, that's out!
No, wait, there's one more thing. Know that commercial where the couple both lose weight by cutting out fries and eating salads instead and he loses weight all over and she only loses her boobs? That's me! Although I've only lost 12 pounds so far, I swear 6 of it was from my boobs! My husband can ANNOUNCE he's going to lose weight, and two weeks later he's ten pounds lighter!
Last edited by Phillygirl2; 02-18-2008 at 01:16 AM.
Why say, "Oh my god! You've lost SO MUCH weight!" to someone? Really. First of all, I've only lost 22#. Second of all, wouldn't it be more appropriate to simply say, "You look really good. Are you doing something different?"
This time around (postbaby) I'm really struggling and don't want people to know I'm dieting outside of my DH and one or two close friends. I think the reason I don't want to spread it around is because I'm really struggling, I keep gaining and losing the same 3 or 4 pounds. Committing and sticking to a diet has been really hard; I've been starting and restarting trying to lose this weight over the last few months. I'm embarassed because I don't want to seem like I'm "crying wolf", you know the girl who's constantly on a diet but never seems to lose weight.
I was coming to post that in many ways, I was the opposite of you. I have always had a weight problem, and I was SO ashamed of it for years. I finally lost a bunch of weight on my own about 7 years ago and maintained pretty well until I got married. I was still very ashamed about being overweight and didn't want to tell people when I was trying to lose weight.
Then I got pregnant. For the first time in my life, I was gaining weight and I was SUPPOSED to be. I was being weighed monthly and eventually weekly. I didn't like it, but I wasn't ashamed of it. Then I got pregnant again after my girl was born, and now I'm carrying the weight from two babies. So I don't really mind telling people I'm on WW. I guess I feel I can always default to "You know, to lose the baby weight."
And I come from an overweight family, so they're supportive. My sister has even been on and of of WW...I was excited to hear she joined around when I did (but she quit soon after). But a lot of people at work have been on WW, and I keep finding out more and more people I know are on it. And that's a really good thing...I am always looking for low-point snacks, so when someone knows I'm on WW, they can share what they learn with me.
Finally, I have to ask emiloots, have you had your thyroid tested? I experienced a lot of that gaining/losing the same few pounds and at a doctor's visit for another reason the doctor asked about that, and had my thyroid tested. It turned out to be okay, but it's very common for new mothers to have thyroid issues, and to have these masked by thinking you're just experiencing normal post-partum symptoms. Just something for you to consider if you're really making a strong effort and not seeing results.
The only reason I don't want people knowing that I'm trying to lose weight is because I don't want them to think I don't like my body AND I don't want them to confirm what I already know: that I do, in fact, need to lose weight. But the people I'm close with know about it, and that's okay, lol.
This is an interesting thread... it really made me think.
My problem with WW isn't so much the people I know - I tell some people and not others. Sometimes it makes me squirm a little, because some of those I choose to tell have known me through (many) other weight loss attempts, but my discomfort stems from my disappointment with myself, not because I think they're judging me.
The weirdest thing for me is that I hate the thought that a stranger(!) might see me walking into the WW building, or that I run into someone I barely know while there. What's that all about?
I know exactly what you mean. If it's obvious that I NEED to lose weight, then why is it embarassing to be doing something about it?
I think I am worried about failing again, and people knowing I was actually trying. Rather than just getting heavier and acting like I dont notice or care....
I've done it so many times. I dont want my husband to think, "Gee, we'll see how long it lasts this time."
thanks for letting me vent!!
