[Resolute]

So i was at the grocery store today and something strange and unexpected happened.

I was paying for my groceries and the very pretty woman running the till awkwardly began a conversation with me, needless to say at first i did not even know that she was addressing me, it's been so long since a woman has went out of their way to talk to me let alone instigate a conversation, it wasn't until she looked straight at me and smiled that i realized she was actually talking to me. I was pretty flustered, she was rambling on about work etc... and i had no clue on how to reciprocate, i babbled some nonsense...

On retrospect, that tiny exchange has totally reaffirmed my commitment and uplifted me , it's strange and a little sad, i can't even remember the last time a pretty girl has looked twice at me, i hope she didn't misconscrue my confusion and deer in headlights response as some kind of negative slight, i truly was caught off guard and had no idea how to engage in small talk.

It's strange how the smallest thing can mean so much. Looking back on my struggle this last year, i would do it all over again and more just for that minute.

If i could i would give her a big hug.

[darway]

When you were heavier, you probably projected an aura of glumness a desire for more "mental privacy" ... People can sense that invisible wall, and they don't step into your space.

She probably just saw you as someone "normal" that she can talk to for 60 seconds, like other customers, to break the monotony of a repetitive job.

Hey! Welcome to "normalcy!"

[Resolute]

Originally Posted by darway

When you were heavier, you probably projected an aura of glumness a desire for more "mental privacy" ... People can sense that invisible wall, and they don't step into your space.

She probably just saw you as someone "normal" that she can talk to for 60 seconds, like other customers, to break the monotony of a repetitive job.

Hey! Welcome to "normalcy!"

When you are extremely large women don't even give you a second look, they "see you" but don't really "look at you" if you know what i mean ???, it's a subtle difference and one i've missed over the years.

I didn't know if anyone would relate or not, but it was a wonderful moment to my day. I've missed the odd lady actually "looking at me" let alone trying to strike up conversation.

[BillBlueEyes]

Congrats on your major loss!!! How long have you been at it?

Wonderful story. This coming out of over weight seems to be a bit like coming of age - I can picture movies being made of the awkwardness of it all. The good news is that I believe that all women are used to men being awkward and probably just attribute it to being shy.

Go back out there with your shoulders back and begin to expect it; who knows what the next encounter will be.

[Resolute]

Originally Posted by BillBlueEyes

Congrats on your major loss!!! How long have you been at it?

Wonderful story. This coming out of over weight seems to be a bit like coming of age - I can picture movies being made of the awkwardness of it all. The good news is that I believe that all women are used to men being awkward and probably just attribute it to being shy.

Go back out there with your shoulders back and begin to expect it; who knows what the next encounter will be.

Hmm, you know i never really made a conscious effort at the start, what i did look at and wonder was why do i keep regaining weight and getting ever larger, to me it had begun to look like a mountain i could never climb, my hope was nearly lost, what i did do was decide to educate myself all i could about calories and what exactly a body needs and how to fuel myself properly, i dreamt it might eventually impact my weight but i did not agonize on that at all, just first i had to basically learn how to eat because what i was doing was all wrong.

I'd say around a year to get here although at first i was so resigned all i could do was concentrate on education, i decided to start waddling (LOL) yes this is basically how i got around... 2 blocks at first which were like excruciatingly difficult, i couldn't believe how far i had fallen, i walk 6 days a week, typically the last day i would offer myself a reward in the way of added distance, come the start of the next week i would tell myself if i could do it once i can do it every day, long story short it took months but i walk for 9 - 10 KM's daily now.

Most of my success has come in the last 6 - 8 months, it took me a long time to inch my way towards being able to work at losing weight physically

Basically it took everything i had and then some, maybe i'm just really emo, i'm 41 years old now so i don't think i have much more time to waste, it was now or never in my mind.

I will die before i let go of this, it is mine and mine alone.

Seriously. sorry for being so emotional, it's not very manly, it's just i'm almost starting to feel alive again, physically and mentally.

The women on this sight are wonderful BTW, so much inspiration.

[MissiBme]

Please excuse the intrusion, but I couldn't help responding! I guess I've never really realized that MEN could actually have the same problem and feelings about this as I do! As a personal preference, I am attracted to big teddy bear type fellas, so I guess I never gave it much thought. Kudos to all of you guys for your hard work and struggles!
Missi )

[Resolute]

Originally Posted by MissiBme

Please excuse the intrusion, but I couldn't help responding! I guess I've never really realized that MEN could actually have the same problem and feelings about this as I do! As a personal preference, I am attracted to big teddy bear type fellas, so I guess I never gave it much thought. Kudos to all of you guys for your hard work and struggles!
Missi )

Maybe i'm not the best representative of the average guy.

I fight with my emotions quite a bit, i'm pulling most of my strength from my heart and soul... as horribly cliche as that sounds.

I appreciate that anyone can relate

[Mudpie]

Suggestion (from a woman) - why don't you go back to the grocery store next week and look for the same woman to run your stuff through the till? Now you're ready and can respond.

Even if it's just small talk and she's not interested in anything beyond that it's good practice. All this social stuff takes practice too!

And congrats on the weight loss and on the progression in your walking!

Dagmar

[goldbergvariations]

Congratulations! Now, keep at it! And I like what Mudpie has to say

[chris250]

I'm about to sound like a teenager but that's sooooo COOL! What a neat thing to happen to keep you motiviated!

[Resolute]

Thanks peeps, it's a nice feeling knowing i don't repulse people that much anymore.

Mudpie, i could surely use some practice but i would feel creepy going in there just for that.

Kind of another nice moment a few days ago a couple of ladies of recent acquaintance asked me what my age was, in return i asked what they thought, the one took a good look at me and says , i don't know... 31, nope i say i am 41, they even disbelieved me, felt good.

[chickadee32]

If you'll allow me to be ultra-girly in the men's forum for just a moment... I just want to express that I think the original post in this thread is truly one of the most touching things I've read at this forum.

I'm sincerely so happy for you, Resolute, that you've had even more of those moments since your original post. I'm sure there are more to come.

[Resolute]

Originally Posted by chickadee32

If you'll allow me to be ultra-girly in the men's forum for just a moment... I just want to express that I think the original post in this thread is truly one of the most touching things I've read at this forum.

I'm sincerely so happy for you, Resolute, that you've had even more of those moments since your original post. I'm sure there are more to come.

I am speechless that my awkwardness could touch anyone.