I sugest you submit, or try submitting, to rigorous advanced portion control methodology control. :-)

A humorous way of stating to weigh all of everything one prepares and then eats. A visual impact of the mass of consumables is striking in its dimunition.

A mindset that one will (or even should) be hungry for most of the time is to be anticipated.

When consuming the food prepared, yes i know this is the difficult period, eat deliberately and methodically, slowly. Masticate, masticate, masticate.

And it is a fact that some types of food will "collect" at different points on the body. Curries and chutneys are advised here. hot, and consumed with no water.

I'm thinking of you from now on.

KF

Hi everyone,

I'm not quite at the *official* maintainer stage just yet, but I'm preparing myself for it. I just love reading all the 3FC Maintainer posts...you gals/guys are great!

Okay, here's my story. And it's gonna be a looong one. Sorry!

My mother was anorexic when I was growing up, and my father was a closet compulsive eater/binger. Mom weighed herself 3 times a day and scribbled it on a chart hanging in the bathroom; Dad hid bags + bags + bags of potato chips in his car. Mom taped a piece of paper to the fridge that said "1 orange = 30 calories = FAT, FAT, FAT!"; Dad secretly took me out to McDonalds and wolfed down 2 Big Macs while I inhaled my Happy Meal. Mom had 2 ounces of tofu for lunch every day; Dad ate whole 12-inch logs of pepperoni after dinner. Mom generally weighed between 90 - 100 lbs (at 5'8"); Dad usually weighed 200+ lbs (also at 5'8").

I think you get my point: I never had a healthy role model, and I never learned what was "normal" in terms of nutrition, portion size, or even BODY size. It took me decades to learn these things, but more about that later .

I've always felt fat. I felt fat even when I wasn't fat. One story that I've already posted somewhere on 3FC is about my pediatrician. When I was 11 yrs old, I was already full-grown height-wise -- 5'4". I went in for my annual check-up and weighed-in at 140 lbs. The doctor looked at me and said, "Kate, you need to lose 20 pounds." And that was it. Not nutrition advice, no tips on how to get started -- nothing, not even a lousy food pyramid to look at. And then I went home to the chaos described above. I remember on the drive home (probably as Dad and I waited in line at McDonalds) thinking: "How the heck am I going to lose TWENTY POUNDS? Oh, well. I guess I'll just be fat forever." This was in 1983, and that became the way I thought about myself for the next 19 years.

We never had food in the house -- Dad had plenty of food in his CAR (and in his dresser, his workroom, his toolshed, etc) -- but there was never anything in the kitchen. And when I say "there was never anything in the kitchen," I'm not exaggerating (much.) My parents used to go away all day on Saturdays to have "their time," so I spent a lot of time on my own (I'm an only child). There were days when my lunch was a slice of Wonder Bread with salt sprinkled on it. I remember drinking the liquid that was left over in an empty pickle jar. I used to eat lemons, and even nibbled at a cinnamon stick once. Mom wanted no food in the house, so there was no food in the house. My "complaints" about this situation got so bad that by the time I was a Junior in high school, my Dad was giving me $25 a week for allowance. WITH the understanding that the $25 was to FEED me as well as handle whatever little things I wanted/needed to buy for myself. So I started grocery shopping on my own. Having NO idea what was good and what was bad -- and seeing ALL these marvelous, wonderful-looking foods that I had only experienced at my friends' houses (or on TV commercials). So I think you can imagine what kind of garbage I brought home with me: Apple Jacks, Doritos, Coke, candy bars, frozen pizzas, etc. And -- perhaps not surprisingly -- I got into the habit in high school of going out for "dinner" with my friends right after school. This "dinner" being either pizza, ice cream, or Chinese food (we were teenagers, after all!)

I was pretty much a size 12 all through high school -- which I thought was fat. Looking back at those pictures now, though, I see that I actually looked pretty "normal." But I felt fat. Mom -- obviously -- had a lot to do with this seeing as how she was a size 0 and everything. But the most extreme example of how she influenced my sense of self happened in 1988. I went to visit my uncle in Spain. Within 24 hours I had contracted aomebic dysentery from some bad tapas. I was in bed (and in the bathroom) for 14 days, and lost somewhere in the area of 25 lbs. When I was finally well enough to fly home, I got off the plane and my mother was BESIDE herself. With joy. NOT because I was home, not because I was no longer sick, but because I was so thin. She took a picture of me that day, and it's still on her mantle to this day -- despite the fact that she is a "recovering" anorexic and about 130 lbs. She's told me hundreds of times over the years that it is her favorite picture of me. And I look like I have a terminal illness in that photo. Literally.

So, moving on now to my adult life. I went to college in another state and managed to put on somewhere around 30 lbs in my 4 years there. This was due to a lot of things, but mostly (and most OBVIOUSLY) due to the fact that I didn't know how to eat. Some days I would eat practically nothing -- maybe a Coke and a bag of pretzels. Other days, I would eat a whole large pizza by myself, followed by a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a liter of Pepsi.

When I left college, I also ended things with my boyfriend (of 4 years). We had both gained a lot of weight, and as part of my "new single life," I wanted to lose it. And I did. I walked, I bought a NordicTrak, and I watched my fats. I probably lost 20 - 30 pounds. And then I started teaching and over the next 8 years or so, food became my stress relief. Thursday nights were always "Pizza Night" for me. And low and behold, I was *suddenly* 189 pounds.

For my 30th birthday (8/29/02), I gave myself the gift of a personal trainer. She is my guru, my savior, and (now) one of my closest friends. She has filled in all the blanks for me...everything I should have learned about nutrition as a kid, she has taught me as an adult. I can't say enough about her. She has literally saved my life.

So I began this journey on August 29th, 2002. In one year, I lost about 25 lbs through weight training, good nutrition, and (due to my laziness and hatred of it) limited cardio. In August of 2003, I moved to England and went off track -- not very FAR off track, but off track nonetheless. I returned to the States a size 14 (having left the States a size 12). I got right back on board with my beloved trainer, added regular cardio to the plan, and...well, here I am now.

My name is Kate, by the way. I'm (nearly) 33, single, with 2 dogs + 3 cats.

Thanks for *listening.*

Kate - what a wonderful story of success despite the odds -- of taking charge of your own destiny and triumphing over some terribly flawed relationships with food. Your stories would be funny if they weren't so tragic -- there's got to be a book in there somewhere!

We're so happy that you've joined us here in Maintainers! You've written some fabulous posts and we look forward to hearing lots more from you.

Thanks, Meg . It helped a lot just to WRITE all that, if that makes sense. You've already been so nice to me with responses on a few of my other posts, so I look forward to getting to know you better -- and hearing more of your wisdom!

Hello everyone!

Well, I posted in this thread almost exactly one year ago, hoping to be a real maintainer someday and now I am! All of my excess pounds are gone and now I am at a normal weight AND I have visible muscles too from my frequent sessions at the gym!

So, about me then.. My name is Ann-Charlotte, I'm Swedish, 27 years old (for another month) and I live in Gothenburg on the Swedish west coast. I work as an IT-technician at a web hosting company. Quite nerdy.

I've battled with my weight for almost 10 years now, I became overweight when I moved away from home after I finished high school. That's when I developed my binge eating disorder as well. Since then my weight has fluctuated wildly over the years and I haven't been at a normal weight for longer than a total of a year in the past decade. I've tried a gazillion different diets, I've read every self-help book there is (or at least that's how it feels) but I never quite made it, the "click" that I wanted never came and I mostly felt miserable. I moved around a lot, between different cities and different countries, never feeling quite satisfied with anything in my life and constantly looking for something new, although exactly what I don't know.

This past year has been a very good one though, I'm in a stable relationship with a lovely man (we celebrate 4 years together this Christmas), I bought a cozy flat together with said lovely man, I have a steady job with a decent income.. And I suppose I needed this stability to dare tackle my weight proper. No more running away, just facing the facts: To reach a normal weight I need to take care of myself, eat good food that I actually *like* and I need to exercise. I never wanted to exercise before, I always hoped that I could lose all my extra weight without having to exercise. But for some reason or other I was ready to give exercise a go, so I ponied up for yet another gym membership but the difference this time was that I didn't stop going after 2 months. I'm still at it, exactly one year later, much longer than I've ever stuck to any exercise before. And I accepted that change was necessary and that I had to make an effort to get results.

And results I have gotten, for sure! I'm now a total of almost 60 pounds lighter, I am fitter than I've ever been in my entire life! I'm now happy at a weight of 154 lbs to my 5.8" height, I don't care if other people my height aim for much lower weights because I'm happy with the shape of my body. I can finally buy clothes in normal shops and things fit AND look good when I try them on, now that I'm the equivalent of a US size 10. People around me have been very positive and are happy for me, I haven't had one single negative comment regarding my weight loss, it's been 100% supportive. My BED is almost non-existent now (it will never go away, I see myself as a sober alcoholic sees herself) and my relationship to food is so much better and healthier now, and it's constantly improving. And if I have a relapse I recover quicker now and don't beat myself up so much. So many good things have come from my decision to finally allow myself to succeed!

So that's me! I've been reading the Maintainers forum for over a year and I even posted a little every now and then but I felt that I wanted to be a real, proper Maintainer when I started posting more frequently. I've read so many inspirational and wise things from all you people here that I can't wait to participate myself.

Here's to finally succeeding. And thank you for reading this far!

Hugs from a happy Ann-Charlotte

Hi everyone! I figured it's been a couple weeks since I hit my goal weight, so here I am! I'm going to answer the questions first, then at the bottom is my sort of life story (copied and pasted from my post on the success stories board, I hope that's okay).

• Is this the first time or one of many times that you've tried to lose weight? - This is the second time I have actually tried to lose weight, but I have wanted to lose weight as far back as I can remember. The first time I tried to lose I went about it all wrong, and gained it all back plus more! This time it is for life.
• Are you where you want to be? - Yes and no. I am at the goal I set for myself, but I still kind of feel fat when I look in the mirror. My body will never be perfect, but I think it could be a lot better. But I think this has more to do with exercise and strengthening than weight loss at this point.
• How has life changed for you since you've lost the weight? - The weirdest thing is that people I meet don't know I used to be fat. It is SO WEIRD to have people say things like "oh, you don't need to worry about your weight" and stuff like that. But the good things: I am the healthiest I've ever been in my life, I can do all sorts of physical activities I never could do before, shopping isn't depressing anymore (I love shopping, and I did at my high weight too, but I used to spend more time shopping for shampoo than for clothes!), and most importantly I am comfortable with myself and my self-confidence has finally arrived.
• If you're maintaining, what's that like for you? - I'm still trying to figure out this maintenance thing . . . I feel like I'm eating for maintenance, but I'm still losing weight. I don't want to start eating more because I'm afraid of a backslide!
• Do you exercise regularly? - Yes, at least three times a week, but once finals are over I'm hoping to get back to five days a week.
• Now that you're near or at your goal, what are your concerns? - Obviously my main concern is that I'll gain it all back, and then some. It's scary to think of how careful I'll have to be for the rest of my life (which is a long time, I'm still young!). I'm also afraid of getting lazy, slacking off at the gym, and eating too much junk. In terms of what I'm still working toward, I know I have a long way to go with strengthening and toning my body. Due to some wrist problems I've had to lay off the weight lifting, but I'm hoping to get back to it in a couple months.

So, here is my story. I'm happy to be here on the maintenance forum with you wonderful ladies!

I was raised eating at restaurants a lot, and eating a lot of fried and fatty foods. Outdoor activities and exercise of any kind were never really encouraged in my family. My parents are both overweight, my dad much more so than my mom -- every so often my mom would decide she wanted to lose weight and we would do a Jane Fonda or Richard Simmons workout tape for a day or two, but it never lasted. We always had some kind of sweets/dessert around the house, with the only rule being that we (my sister and I) had to eat fruit before we were allowed to eat dessert. Actually, when I was little my mom cooked at home most of the time and we didn't go out very much, but she started working full time when I started high school, and after that there were a lot more fast food and diner meals.

I started getting chubby right before puberty, but as usually happens my growth spurt counteracted it. However, I never really exercised outside of gym class at school, so I was never physically fit at all. In high school this meant that I would see all the flabby skin I had (and I grew up in LA, where there are like five million supermodel-looking girls all over) and think I was fat, even when I weighed 115 lbs my freshman year. In fact, I don't remember ever not thinking I was fat, because most of my friends were always skinnier than me. In gym class they would have us run twice a week, and I was always at the back of the pack, and couldn't run a single lap around the track (1/4 mile) without having to stop and walk and feeling like I was dying. I hated that feeling and I hated being last, so I just told myself "well, I am just not good at running," and I celebrated when I finished the required two years of PE classes.

Basically in high school I gained about 10 lbs/year. By the time I graduated I was around 150 (I'm 5'4"), having started around 115. As I gained weight in high school, my dad started to point out that I was "getting a belly" (he started making these comments when I was around 128 or so). This became a huge point of contention because he would always make comments about my weight, then when I started crying he would yell at me that I was being too sensitive. Keep in mind that my dad is about 5'5" and somewhere around 230 (no, it's not muscle). Eventually he said he was telling me I was fat because he didn't want me to end up like him. Maybe that makes sense in some twisted way, but I really don't think a very overweight man telling a teenage girl she is fat (when she's at a healthy weight) is going to convince her to lose weight. In any case, I just became more convinced I was fat, fat, fat, and since I am an emotional eater, that turned into eating more and more junk food.

Here is an idea of how I might have eaten on a typical day in high school: breakfast would probably be a frozen meal, like a toaster strudel or french toast sticks. At around 10am, I would probably have a muffin I bought at school. Lunchtime meant either Pizza Hut pizzas (which they sold at school) or candy bars from the vending machine. When I got home around 4:30, I would eat whatever dessert was around (ice cream sundae, a couple donuts, etc). If my dad cooked dinner, it would probably be some kind of deep fried Chinese chicken dish -- if my mom cooked it might be breaded and fried turkey breast with a side salad. If neither of them felt like cooking, it was TV dinners or a local diner. Around 8pm was usually snack time -- more of whatever I had been eating at 4:30!

Then it was off to college and all-you-can eat meals. To be honest, I have never had much self control when it comes to food -- if there is yummy food in front of me, I will eat until there is no more, whether or not I am hungry (this is something I've been working on a lot lately). All four years of college, I lived in a dorm and ate at the cafeteria. My last two years I ate cereal for breakfast in my room, but every lunch and every dinner was at the cafeteria.

Now, our cafeteria was pretty notorious for bad food. But the dessert was always pretty darn tasty -- their Mexican food was pretty good too. So I would end up eating huge amounts of fatty greasy food and then pile on the dessert afterward! Being an emotional eater like I said before, the stress of college led to even more junk food.

Here's an example of what I might have eaten on a typical Saturday in college: first would be a bowl of cereal in my room. A couple hours later, I would go to brunch, where I would probably have a couple pancakes, a couple pieces of sausage or bacon, some eggs with cheese, maybe a belgian waffle if I was really hungry (with strawberries and whipped cream, of course), and a couple bites of whatever "lunch" food they had (chicken strips or something). I would always have dessert afterwards too. Around mid-afternoon I would probably go to the coffeeshop and get hot cocoa or chai. Dinner would probably be a big plate full of spaghetti with the oily sauce they always had, five garlic breadsticks or so, and a piece of whatever kind of chicken or fish they had available. Plus at least one of the desserts from the spread (cake, cheesecake, pudding, pie, ice cream, etc). In the evening I would go to a party with my friends, have a couple drinks, then go buy ice cream or pizza when we got the "drunken munchies."

I have to say it is completely embarrassing to admit that I used to eat like that (I am really not exaggerating).

The summer after my sophomore year, I was moving into an apartment on my own for a summer job and I decided I was fed up and I wanted to lose weight. I didn't have a clue how to do it, so I did the only thing that looked easy -- SlimFast. I would have a small bowl of Special K for breakfast, a SlimFast meal bar for lunch, and a very low-calorie dinner. My goal that summer was to eat under 1000 calories each day (I really had no idea that that was an unhealthy amount to eat). In any case, I lost 30 lbs (without any exercise, also not good) and got down to 150 again. The following semester I developed some pretty intense stomach problems and had some kind of liver problem as well that went away before they could diagnose it. Suffice to say I was really sick and couldn't eat much more than green beans at the dining hall. Obviously that allowed me to maintain my weight for that semester, and into the next. The following year was back to the old habits, and I gained an amazing 35 pounds in one year to hit my all-time high of 185 at graduation.

After graduation, I moved across the country and moved in with my boyfriend. He has many of the same self-control problems as me, but has always been good about exercising. I thought to myself that Slim-Fast worked before, so I would give it a shot again. I would eat cereal for breakfast, a Slim-Fast bar for lunch, and a sensible dinner (no more super-low-cal). I also started going to a pilates class three times a week. After a couple months, I started to feel some of the stomach symptoms I had had the previous time (heartburn) and I cut out the Slim-Fast immediately. I figured it was probably responsible for the heartburn, so there must be a better way. I switched instead to Lean Cuisine for lunch, and in general tried to get around 1200 cals/day. After my pilates class ended, I made a new year's resolution (for 2005) that I would be able to run a mile, something I had never done before.

Soon after that I found 3FC. I learned SO MUCH from this website, I have to say a huge thank you to all the wonderful ladies on here. A couple months after that, I was able to run a mile. A couple months later, I could run two. In September this year I ran my first 5K race, and did not walk at all. I have since given up the Lean Cuisine deal and am sticking to healthy food made at home. Whole grains, fruits and veggies, low-fat dairy products, and lean meat. I still eat sweets every now and then, but moderately. I still go out to eat, but only once a week. I work out at least three days a week (during the summer I was doing 5-6).

For the past couple months, I have been eating at what I feel is a maintenance level (something I could continue with my whole life). Imagine my surprise that I continued to lose weight! Not only that, but after coming back from a week of indulgence for Thanksgiving, I actually lost the last two pounds and hit my goal weight of 130.

I went from 185 to 130, from a size 16 to a size 8 (I actually fit into some 6's now too). It took over a year to lose those 55 lbs, but I think that is just fine. Before, I lost weight rapidly, didn't learn how to eat right, and gained it all back. Now I have so much more knowledge and I have you wonderful ladies (and gentlemen) to thank for that. I am in the best shape of my life and I don't plan to slack off on that any time soon. If a few more pounds come off, that's okay, I wouldn't mind being 125. But I am going to be careful to stay at a healthy weight.

I plan to maintain this weight for the rest of my life, but especially I hope to maintain my fitness level so that I look great when I get married in fall of 2007!!

to Maintainers, Paperclippy! What an awesome story! It's amazing the way you've turned your eating habits around.

We hope you stick around with us and keep posting ... we've all got the same goal: to keep the weight off for life.

I've got to lose 25 pounds by bathing suit season."
"Thirty pounds by Christmas!"
"I've got to be in a size 12 by the wedding!"

These "gotta lose by" numbers and dates are markers for impatient losers. And impatient losers DON'T LOSE. If they DO manage to lose, they frequently don't maintain those losses. How come?

The idea isn't to lose pounds on the scale by a certain date. The idea is to change your relationship with food and exercise and establish behaviors and habits that support and maintain a healthy weight.

When a person grits their teeth and suffers through a "diet" to reach a goal defined by the number on the scale, then when that number is reached, the efforts stop. The person, who has not changed how they think about food and exercise, now goes back to the fat-promoting behaviors, and BOOM! Before ya know it, the prom/wedding dress/bathing suit doesn't fit anymore, and the fat is back
It's important to take the time to slowly establish new patterns of thought and behaviors that lead to habits that support health..[/B]

That's where I'm at. I've found that if I maintain a daily life style/pattern then my weight naturally falls off!! So I've found in the past month a daily pattern/lifestyle that I'm happy with, that I can maintain comfortably for the rest of my life and the weight is falling off!!

and the best news!! Since lurking here I've discovered that my definition of 'normal' doesn't apply to me!! I have to redefine what normal eating/exercising is for me and my life because my patterns don't fit the 'shoulds' of the dieting world. I 'should' be able to control cookies. Well I can't so I'll probably never have a cookie again in my life, the flip side is: I won't have to fight the cravings either. I won't have to fight the constant urge to binge and I live in peace with food.

So even though I still have 20 or so pounds to go I am maintaining a healthier lifestyle with daily exercise (and a lot of it) as well as a menu that keeps me happy and thinner. It's amazing that the # on the scale is only a by-product of my daily habits and not the focus of my life!!!

Maintaining and loving it!!!

Woo hoo, Miss 2006! You 'get it'! The whole business of losing weight is simply practice for maintenance. And you are so, so right that we all have to redefine 'normal' to what fits us, not someone else's idea of what we should or shouldn't do. Trust me, you'll get people telling you all the time that you're obsessed or eating too much or too little or the wrong foods or exercising too much ... just stick your fingers in your ears and say "I can't heeeeaaaar you!' It just cracks me up when people still tell me that I'm doing it 'wrong'! Hello?

Welcome to Maintainers! You bet you belong here!

Hello !
My name is Janice and I am 39 years old. I weighed from 150-160 from junior high through adulthood with a pre-delivery pregnancy weight of 220 two times. Both times I easily lost the weight and returned to 150 where I easily maintained. I have always been physically active and very fit. I wore a snug size 10-12.

In 2002 I hit 36 years of age & realized that I was in bondage to my weight. I really felt too heavy and that I wanted to make a change. I knew a lot about nutrition, calories, etc but needed a good, solid program to follow. I ordered the WW At Home Program and within hours of it being delivered to my door I was on my way. I set my initial goal weight at 142 because I really had no frame of reference on what I would look like/feel like at a certain weight. I followed the Program to the letter and continued my daily workouts. I believe the reason that the Program worked so well for me is that I was required to eat my minimum daily Points. The weight literally fell off each week that I weighed myself at home (I did not attend meetings) and I quickly understood that I had been undereating all of my life and that my metabolism was finally waking up and being 'stoked' with the small, frequent meals I was eating each day. I quickly passed my initial goal and continued to follow the Program for losing until I felt like my body was at its perfect weight. Today I weigh 111-113 and maintain without a problem. I realize that my weight is below the WW guidelines (I am 5'6") but my physician feels that 110-115 is perfect for me. I have been at goal for 3 years this month.

Losing this weight has been a fascinating experience. To had never been thin and now to be thin is hard for me to fathom at times. I love the way I feel and am finally comfortable in my own skin. I will journal the rest of my life, get my daily water in and follow the Points program. I am just two weeks away from turning 40 and I have never felt better.

Thanks for reading !
Janice

Janice! What a great story! I'm one who was never thin before either and I LOVE the way it feels! SO much better than any food!

We're so glad you found us here and look forwarding to seeing lots more of you.

How wonderful to meet someone right away who was never thin before either. That right there is great news! I look forward to reading through your posts and meeting others here.

Janice

Actually, I came out of lurkdom a couple of weeks ago, but I wanna introduce myself properly. I'm not sure I belong in here, but since I've been lurking and maintaining (albeit not at my goal weight) for years, well, maybe I do . Long story short: ten years ago I lost 37 lbs (from 169 to 132 - I'm 5'4") through cardio and a low-cal diet (1000-1200/day). I maintained that for 5 years (I never got heavier than 138, and I even got as low as 127 once...sigh...). Then in 2001 I gained 10-12 lbs. I've never lost them. No, not true, I've lost 5 or 6 lbs a billion times, only to regain them. The good news is I haven't regained any more either. I've been maintaining at 140-142 for a long time. It's very easy to maintain this weight, but it was not hard to maintain 132 either (I ate like a cow when I gained). For a while I was terrified of dieting and deprivation and couldn't stand the idea of trying to lose weight again, but now I think I'm mentally ready again. I need to be *really* patient, and that's the hard part for me. I'm in my healthy weight range, and I can't expect to lose more than 5 lbs a month. The problem is, I always think that's too slow (I know, I know!) and give up after losing 2 or 3. I'm also 35 now, so the weight does not come off as fast as it did when I was 165 lbs and in my 20's. But enough whining. You guys are the greatest inspiration and I hope to be a true maintainer again soon!

Oh yeah, I'd love to get to 125 lbs, but let me first try to get through today...

Welcome! I think that what you're describing is typical of 'maintenance' for many of us. Up and down, gain a few, lose a few, never quite where we want to be. We're glad you delurked and want to hear lots more from you!

Thanks for the welcome!

Yeah, I know what you mean, but this is way above my comfort zone...