Learning to live my new life now and not waiting until the goal is reached
I asked myself: Why not be better looking while I'm losing, instead of waiting for months and months? This will help prepare me mentally for my new self. People have posted about better makeup, a flattering hair style, mani-pedi, exfoliation, moisturizing, wearing contact lenses, whitening teeth, new perfume, and all of this adds does better one's perception of oneself.
But I'm also leaving behind old fat habits and forcing myself to make more eye contact and smiling more (in a natural way). Learning to be comfortable and light-hearted in large social situations.
I also need to leave behind the comfortable, functional shoes and get some moderate heels from brands that specialize in comfort. I've been out of high heels for so long, that I need to get a high pair and practice being graceful in them again. That's easier now that I've lost some weight.
I also keep a full set of clothes in the next size down and each weekend try on a top and pair of pants to see if I'm ready to move down. Zippers really do show progress. I find that Lee Rider pants, jeans and tapered shirts, polo tops allow me to have fitted work and casual wardrobes at any size. I dress up navy chinos and white shirt with a good blazer and a scarf. Buy decent blazers on sale at JCPenneys. (I've even bought the same blazer brands on ebay.) Hanes underwear and Playtex bras also have consistent sizing. Lee, Hanes, and Playtex are relatively inexpensive and occasionally go on sale at Kmart and Walmart. Buy lots of sizes when it's on sale. I also make sure I have workout clothes in a smaller size. The best thing: the days I can take my old clothes to Goodwill. I get them out of the house right away - no back sliding.
I have purchased all the accessories I will need when I have reached my goal as they are mostly sizeless (handbags, jewelry, scarves on eBay) . But, I have made a detailed list of my "perfect" wardrobe and I am ready to buy when I reach my goal.
I need to stop living like a fat person and start practicing for the new chapter in my life. I would be interested in your ideas, especially on replacing poor social skills that fat people adopt in order to cope.
I think this is a great idea! I am so worried that after I lose all my weight I'll just go back into my old habbits, but this seems like a way to steer clear of that. Thanks.
I know I'm alone on this, but heels are so bad for your feet and posture!
I've never been able to wear high heels, and have only done so a few times in my life.
It's not just you, I feel the same way. Plus, I've done everything right in terms of "practicing" frequently with high heels, and I still can't walk in a straight line. And... I'm over it. I worked a job over the summer where I had to wear (medium) heels, and I could never keep up with the men from the office when we all walked somewhere. I would just wait until they weren't paying attention anymore and then slip into the flats that I kept in my bag and run to catch up.
I have been making an effort to wear less frumpy shoes though; just because I'm not willing to wear heels doesn't mean I shouldn't look hot in my shoes. I have a collection of cute flats and what I call "barely-heels" that I'm trying to wear whenever I anticipate walking less than a mile (which, let's be honest, is not often).
I hear you! I really started working on my appearance too around the same spot in my journey too. It helped so much in terms of my self-confidence and I have absolutely no regrets.
One thing that helped me so much was understanding my body type. I have a large bust so I started researching proper bra fitting and clothes made specifically for a large bust. I also have a large butt so I've dealt with a lot of gapping in the back when it comes to jeans. I started buying Levi's Curve ID jeans, which also helped a lot with my confidence. Accepting my body type and starting to dress for it made a huge difference!
As for the heels I can't wear them due to having really crappy knees and I'm flat footed. I normally wear Dansko's+additional inserts so I at least can look semi-decent. Before I was wearing mostly tennis shoes and flip-flops so it's a big step up! I'd love to be able to wear heels but it's just not possible.
Oh, and make sure you're wearing the right size in your bras!!! Platex sells really comfortable bras but their sizing is off. You need to make sure that your underbust measurement = your band size. It will help a lot in terms of support and appearance! You'll probably have to go up in a cup size (or more) if you weren't wearing the right band size before.
I'm so happy to see this thread! Since I have dropped a few pounds, I have noticed that my belly is smaller, so my fashionista SIL ran me to the store and we bought an outfit that accentuates my "smaller" waistline. I felt AWESOME in it!
I have also taken time to take care of other things that I allowed to get crazy while i was fat. my skin (i have psoriasis and suborrheic dermatitis) was horrible and out of control and i have taken time to make it smooth and clear(er) again. I have also taken time to keep my hair done (im famous for wearing ponytails 99% of the time) and I have just generally taken time to take better care of myself. And I am happier because of it.
Heels are my next big feat. I never could walk in them, but I have a shoe fetish (strange, huh?) and I cant wait to buy them and wear them. I have always been self conscious about my fat feet (and they swell, so its a double whammy) so I never wore heels. I am buying myself a pair of heels for my birthday and I plan on wearing them everywhere lol
Its important that we start taking care of ourselves and doing things for ourselves that enhance our quality of life.
Good for you, Lisa! I've also started doing the same thing. Especially since my ex broke up with me (3 weeks ago, sigh). I went to the mall Saturday and just planned everything I am doing. I got my eyebrows threaded to start out. They look great now but holy crap, it hurt! Next I'm going to get my hair cut & colored. Just highlights, not dying all of it. But it feels so great to go out and do things like that! Especially now that I'm starting to be able to fit in regular sizes at clothing stores. That's something I've never experienced - everything that I try on actually FITS, and I can decide what to buy based on what I like most, and not on what I can squeeze into.
I bookmarked this last night to come back to this post, because I have been wanting to post something like it. I see so many ladies with "goal rewards" that involve starting to take care of themselves in some way.
I have never placed a high value on pursuits that I found "vain" in the past. I thought they were costly, and in the end, my body image was so poor that I didn't feel like it made any difference if I wore clothes that fit nicely, put on makeup, did my hair, etc.
Ladies, I have to tell you, it DOES make a difference. I am taking care of myself in a way that improves my overall self-confidence. Some things I love (my beautiful red hair with strawberry highlights), some things I do when I have an occasion (makeup), and other things are not for me (like waxing my lady bits - OUCH!). But I am investing in myself, which has made it that much easier to consider myself "worth" the effort of getting the weight off.
It will take me forever to lose the weight, as it took forever to put it on. But I will feel beautiful and love myself every day. I won't force myself to wait.
I totally agree Telorida, it makes a huge difference. As my son is less dependant on me (and my money lol) i have started to get my nails done and a pedicure every 2 - 3 weeks. At first i was too self concious about my often swollen feet and ankles, feeling as if i shouldn't be putting anyone though seeing them let alone touching my feet...how silly i was to think like that!
I have purchased a beautiful anklet with little bells on it for when i lose the weight (hopefully my ankles shrink with the rest of me ). But otherwise i am getting into the habit of thinking and CARING about me now, otherwise i will see a stranger looking back at me when i am slimmer. I get that feeling now as i no longer 'feel' like a fat person. I certainly don't wish to feel fat after the long journey i have embarked upon.
So ladies, treat yourself occassionally as you are worth it
I need to stop living like a fat person and start practicing for the new chapter in my life. I would be interested in your ideas, especially on replacing poor social skills that fat people adopt in order to cope.
Oh and Lisa, changing my mindset to overcome my extremely poor social skills has been, and still is, the hardest thing to do. Being obese i feel as if i don't deserve to be happy, therefore i find it very hard to talk to people and i have allowed myself to become quite insular. I know that is way wrong, but it is how i have felt for 21 years now (i will be 41 in feb).
How am i improving this?...friends. I have become quite close to an acquantance i have known from a distance for 10 years and have met another friend through her. They have not once treated me like a fat person, in fact they are constantly giving compliments, not something i have been comfortable with, but it has made a HUGE difference in how i see myself.
Best of luck
The way we relate to others is marked by many factors, one of them being how confident we are of our skills, our knowledge and... our appearance. I also went through a stage during which I thought that hairstyling, make up, mani-pedis and all that were signs of vanity, but then I realized that their effect on the way I perceive myself in front of others was enormous and worth the while, since my enhanced confidence made an impact on the way others treated my and on the way I asserted myself. Looking down at well pared and varnished nails is sooo nice!
Learning to live my new life now and not waiting until the goal is reached
Thanks.
Accepting my body type and starting to dress for it made a huge difference! 
I'd love to be able to wear heels but it's just not possible. 
You'll probably have to go up in a cup size (or more) if you weren't wearing the right band size before.
