I honestly think it has a lot to do with perception and also the people involved. Some people are intimidated,mean to, and threatened by "attractive" people and others will go out of their way for them...The same can be said about "unattractive" people.

Also,some people cant accept a compliment unless they believe they deserve it.

For example:A bigger person receives a compliment. They don't believe it because "it can't possibly be true", but then lets say that person loses weight and receives the same compliment. They then believe its true and therefore it has to be because they are thin.

The mind is a powerful thing.

Originally Posted by mkendrick:
the third time I was there he actually gave me a once over and commented that I "must sure like those Christmas cookies" as he was ringing up my items (which included cookies for friends). And again, this was three separate days over a period of a few weeks.

Wow....I can't say I wouldn't have zinged those Christmas cookies right at old Willard's head...Excellent self-restraint on your part. :o

Did you call and report Willard? I hope so. That's completely unacceptable.

With regard to the original post, have you only seen the doctor twice, once when overweight and once when not? Because it is possible that the first appointment his poor treatment of you was not because of your weight, but because he had a bad day. He could have rushed you because he was behind or many other reasons. It's easy to attribute someone's change in behavior to changes in you, but honestly, if those are your only two experiences with him, the initial appointment could have been an aberration having nothing to do with your weight.

Rachel,
Yes, I saw him twice about 8 months apart. He did not even remember me. The first time the office was less busy. Both times my husband came with me and he noticed as well. This Dr. even moved me ahead of 2 patients to have a test done. It was very obvious!

trust me, it is not "in my head" when i tell you, i have lived fat, thin, fat, thin, and now fat again. my self esteem has NEVER been any better thin than when i was fat.
the last time i lost 160lbs, and COULD NOT handle the attention. people coming out of the woodwork, hubbies friends making comments, my friends husbands making comments, i hated it! at one point i looked at my husband and told him i was going to gain it all back, i couldnt handle it. and guess what? i did.

the comment about the doctors is absolutely correct. when i was 17, i got a tattoo without my mother's permission. ****WARNING VULGAR ALERT***** she was livid, and threatened to kick me out, if i didnt go with her to a plastic surgeon to have it removed. So off we went. He comes in the room, TRUE STORY (you cant make this crap up) takes one look at me and my tiny tattoo on my ankle and says, "she doesnt need this tatoo removed, she needs to lose weight. it's not like she has slippery when wet tattooed on her crotch or F*** tattooed across her knuckles" and then he turned and walked out. i seriously thought my hoity toity momma was gonna pass out right there. but more importantly......WTH ... what does tatoo removal have to do with weight loss? 21 years later, and i'm still shaking my head over this one.
it is harder to get a job when your heavy, IT IS THE LAST ACCEPTABLE SOCIAL DISCRIMINATION TOLERATED IN THIS COUNTRY. and ANYONE who doesnt believe that........well then you've never been heavy enough to understand.

sorry for the soapbox rant, but i've been through so much with this over the years.

edit:
one more thing, i would bet my house on this: if i would have walked into that surgeon at my lowest weight, i know he would have shook my hand, removed my tattoo, and that would have been the end of it. I HAVE LIVED LIFE BOTH WAYS. more than once.

At my highest weight, I was in the lower "obese" category. Now, I'm just barely "overweight". 25lbs gone on a 5'0" body is quite a bit.

Do I feel like I'm treated differently though? Honestly... Well, I'm not the most perceptive person, so I never catch those "little looks". I happily lived (and perhaps still do) in my Ignorance is Bliss bubble. No one ever really made comments about my weight, aside from my grandfather (though his remarks I've been able to brush off), and my grandmother (who was actually happy that I had a bit of extra weight because to her, an underweight old woman, I was very healthy and beautiful).

I feel like my boyfriend is more attracted to me though. But I can't tell if it's because we've overcome a lot together in this past year. My father picked me up the other day, something he hasn't done in a long time, but he isn't treating me any different. I was asked out by one guy and asked to model for another, which I've never really experienced before, but I've also put in more of an effort to make myself look pretty, so perhaps it was the confidence and not the weight.

Let's see if I find a notable change in how people treat me after the next 20lbs :)

I don't get told, upon walking into a non-plus size store, that they "don't have anything in your size, sorry" anymore, so that's nice haha. That happened on more than one occasion. Almost as soon as I walked into the store, too, I hadn't even asked them for my size or anything. The salespeople are definitely a lot friendlier and more helpful now.

I had an experience with a doctor treating me badly because of my weight, too, but I never went back to her, so I don't know if she'd treat me differently now.

Originally Posted by sisypheanme:
I confirm this to be true...I have read different studies and viewed news shows/articles on how overweight people get less promotions and are treated differently than their slimmer counterparts. I guess I shouldn't be too amazed that a Dr. I saw back in January (when I weighed 175) treated my so differently when I saw him recently (at 117 pounds). He was rude the first time--short and neglected to explain things. I felt like I was treated like a number or a farm animal. My recent visit he obviously didn't recognize me and looked back through his notes (as most Dr.'s do anyhow). He explained things, took extra time with me, and his manner was a complete about face. Now with that said, I have also noticed that people are more respectful of me...this leads me to believe that society places too high a value on beauty and thin people. Was I not a worthy person before I lost weight? I am STILL the same person and my weight loss was never intended for vanity. It happened due to a medical condition, stress, and then a need to eat clean to counteract the condition and stress. Has anyone else encountered this?
Demi

Having always been skinny growing up I never noticed until,I had 2 kids and due to pregency gain weight,when I was 200 lbs and now near my goal weight,I have seen people hate on me and I am not even at my goal weight YET! I guess,that some people can't stand you looking good if there NOT.

I can't eat much carbs since,I get bloated and I am eating clean and working out cleaning and using the wii and biking at home.I know what you mean,I have a overweight family and they were HAPPY when I was FAT and now that I am getting skinny it bothers them,not my issue,Just focus on your health and who gives a load of what are others concerns is there issue not yours.

Growing up skinny I was normal and did not have to work on being skinny,I guess,I was lucky and my daughter has the fat gene of my family I think and is getting upset too,since,I am losing weight (7mths since,had my babie) before my baby I was around the 105 lb weight.

:dizzy:

ive noticed this myself, people stop and talk to me.. stare at me and some people even make comments they should really keep to themselves.

But i do think its human nature to be attracted to people who have an "average" body type and size. I think it has to do with evolution and what we see as "healthy, child bearing and strong". We have been around at least 250,000 years and i imagine that it would be a hard habit to break when its what kept us alive and evolving.

Funny you posted this. I have noticed a HUGE difference. What I don't know is if it is the weight change only or if it is that I am happier with myself.

More people chat with me at various places. Even people who used to look past me a year ago seem "comfortable" to talk to me now (for instance while we wait for our kids to come out of dance). I just wish I knew if it was them judging my obesity or if it was the way a carried myself.

This is all so true... it seems like the "Beautiful People's Club" i very real. I haven't lost half of the weight I initially needed to lose, but people are treating me so different now that I'm not visibly obese. People are polite, greet me when I walk into stores, people hold doors for me, they make small talk in the elevator. It's weird! It's hard to get used to, all this attention, people actually looking at you in the eyes when you're talking to them...
I can't say I don't like being treated better, but it shows a serious problem with our beauty standards and how much they affect people in their everyday lives without them even noticing. when I was over 200 pounds I didn't even know there was such thing as someone offering you help in a store. Or barely (you know what I mean).
I find it very sad. :(

It's so true, i've had lots of people compliment me so much so it's sometimes embarrassing cos i would have prefered if they kept the compliments to themselves, i was at a barbeque party yesterday and the host was so excited about my weight loss that other guests at the party surrounded me and started asking me what i did to lose weight.
On the negative side, a colleague who had gained a lot of weight in recent time heard people complimenting my weight loss and said she fears i will lose weight and start falling off my feet! i really don't care what she feels, i like myself the way i am now

MaryOjo, I know what you're talking about with the compliments. I do my best to accept them with grace and try to switch the subject as quickly as possible. Especially from friends or family members who I haven't seen since my highest weight. The whole situation either goes two ways...1) the fact that I'm thin now is like an elephant in the room because it's so obvious but nobody will mention it or 2) they won't shush up about my weight and keep going on and on about how much I lost. The line between feeling complimented and feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable is very easy to cross. A simple "Megan, you look great" would be fine.

Also, when I was heavy and hanging out with a group where there was a skinny person and the subject of that person's thin-ness came up, it always frustrated me. People would say how skinny she was and compare her to beanpoles and twigs and stuff and she would sheepishly brush it off and say she wasn't THAT skinny. It always annoyed me because it felt like they were all just making her ego bigger. Well now that *I* am the thin one where people go around the room trying to come up with the best way to put in words how skinny I am. And yes, I get very tired of being compared to a pole, a stick, a twig, a lollipop, something that would blow away in the wind, etc.

It was once explained to me that "if they don't treat themselves well... why should i treat them well"; my response to this was what makes you think that they don't treat themselves well, maybe they don't know any better or maybe they have emotional issues and have yet to learn how to deal with it... that person didn't have much to say after that. smh

just to put my 4cents into the shopping cart comment. I didn't look at shopping carts until cashiers and patrons started to make comments.. like the kashi cereals or hold up vegetables and say what is this (let me warn you never laugh when someone says that just tell them what it is.. i learned the hard way) or all the 'greenway' products i must pick up (I'm addicted to this brand.) I only feel conscious of it if someone is like staring at what i have in my cart like i kinda stick out like "green" thumb lol.

I also saw that abc show and all i kept thinking was that it wasnt his job to save them. when people have to deal with weight and health the change has to come from within them and if anybody harasses someone to change they deserve a kick in the shin! hyy yah ~~kick~~ lolz ;)

Originally Posted by LastTrain2Para:
It was once explained to me that "if they don't treat themselves well... why should i treat them well"; my response to this was what makes you think that they don't treat themselves well, maybe they don't know any better or maybe they have emotional issues and have yet to learn how to deal with it... that person didn't have much to say after that. smh

just to put my 4cents into the shopping cart comment. I didn't look at shopping carts until cashiers and patrons started to make comments.. like the kashi cereals or hold up vegetables and say what is this (let me warn you never laugh when someone says that just tell them what it is.. i learned the hard way) or all the 'greenway' products i must pick up (I'm addicted to this brand.) I only feel conscious of it if someone is like staring at what i have in my cart like i kinda stick out like "green" thumb lol.

I also saw that abc show and all i kept thinking was that it wasnt his job to save them. when people have to deal with weight and health the change has to come from within them and if anybody harasses someone to change they deserve a kick in the shin! hyy yah ~~kick~~ lolz ;)

You are absolutely right change has to come from within. I put off losing weight for 8 years...and when I got really sick of it I lost the weight!