[luckymommy]

First off, I'd like to say that I am very proud of my accomplishment thus far. I'm excited and can't believe how far I've come!

That brings me to my question. I sometimes feel bad about my weight loss when I see an old friend who is still overweight and not able to do the same. They complement me like crazy to the point where I feel very embarrassed and I don't really know how to deal with that feeling.

They also ask me how I did it, as if there is some magical answer. I get that. I remember wanting the same magical pill that would make all the fat go away.

Any thoughts on this from anyone???

[nicollem]

The only thing you can do for them is give them the materials that helped you finally make that change.
For me it would by 3FC, jillian michaels' radio show, having a great food journal and watching the last few seasons of biggest loser. Those things together inspired me and showed me I can do this.
What got you through it? What wisdom can you pass on?

I noticed that I used to think I knew how to lose the weight.. That I just wasn't meant to lose the pounds.
But through those things.. I learned I was wrong. I didn't really know.
And the knowledge got my butt in gear.

[Gracie789]

Congrats on your success!

I know what you mean about a magical answer. I remember weighing 300lbs and wanting that easy answer that would make the weight go away. Unfortunately, there isn't any magic answer. I'm curious to read what others have to say on this topic because I've been dealing with trying to figure out what to say to people.

The thing with weight loss is that it's an intensely personal journey, it's not the same for everyone and there is no one-size fits all answer. For me when people ask, I explain that I made a lifestyle change that has me eating healthy and getting regular exercise. It's almost a non-answer, but unless I spend several hours explaining the mental barriers, it's the best response I've come up with, lol.

[tiffany0809]

Someone at work recently asked me "how I did it" like it was an easy answer. I told her I started eating a healthy diet and exercising every day. She kinda looked surprised. I guess she was expecting to hear that a genie finally granted my wish.

[luckymommy]

Thanks for the replies. I would love to tell them more about how I've been doing it and all the revelations I've had but it seems that once I start talking about it, they get that glossy look in their eyes...they don't wanna hear it! I think they look at me longingly and they wish they could make the change, but they really don't sit down with me to figure out how to go about it. Anyway, thanks so much!

[AR4life]

I think that most people who ask really don't want to hear the answer if it's not an easy fix. A magic pill if you like. Their eyes glaze over because they aren't ready to make changes in their lives yet.
Take the compliments and smile. If you can give them a genuine compliment back then it's even nicer!
Well done on your weight loss journey !!

[beautifulone]

Originally Posted by luckymommy

Thanks for the replies. I would love to tell them more about how I've been doing it and all the revelations I've had but it seems that once I start talking about it, they get that glossy look in their eyes...they don't wanna hear it! I think they look at me longingly and they wish they could make the change, but they really don't sit down with me to figure out how to go about it. Anyway, thanks so much!

I think so many of us have been in that place where we would give anything for a magic pill, or a magic tidbit of wisdom, ANYTHING to help us lose the weight. On some level, we all know that a healthy lifestyle is one way to lose and keep off weight, but something has to click internally, doesn't it. I remember when I lost my first 20 or something pounds, through healthy eating/exercise, and I felt like I HAD found that magic something! And I was so surprised!

I can understand how that situation might be difficult, and that's tough, but I also have a feeling that you might be an inspiration or role model to them. That somewhere, on some level, they're witness to your achievements, and if they choose, it is something they can use along their own journeys. You're proof to everyone around you that it IS possible, that's such a gift.

As for what to say to them? I've heard other people say keeping it short and simple is usually best, unless someone asks more questions and wants to know more. Good luck

[ALH289]

I'm in the same boat. When I actually tell someone (fat or thin) how much I've lost in the last few months they look at me wide eyed and ask "How'd YOU do it?" Then they stare at me in disbelief when I give the simple answer "eating healthy and exercise" and I can't help but feel that it's not that they don't believe it can't be accomplished with those two things....but instead they are shocked that I could do those two things. So I waffle between feeling guilty when overweight people ask me for the magic answer and I have none and being offended when thin people ask me and can't seem to believe I would have that kind of resolve.

[TamiL]

No need to be embarassed. You did it by hard work and motivation sweetie. Be proud of your accomplishment. If your friends wish to lose weight as well then be honest in what you are doing and tell them straight up that there is no magic one size fits all answer. We all have to find what works for us and stick with it.

[Thighs Be Gone]

Don't feel bad--use what you know to help others *IF* they ask for the advice. There is one friend I have that really does need some help. When she asked me last Spring about my specific methods I offered everything to her. I told her she was welcomed to flip through my food journals or look in my cupboards at my foods. I even offered to go to her house to help her get her house "dressed for success." Not only would it help HER but it keeps me on track too. Mind you I definitely would NOT offer this to just anyone--but a personal friend that I feel positive about discussing this issue with--yep, I did offer it.

I can identify with your feelings. As women we are taught to put ourselves last. When we clearly have a personal success or victory we sometimes berate ourselves for the accomplishment. Think about how you can turn those feelings around!