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Old 05-19-2006, 12:15 PM   #1  
Meg
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Default Frances Kuffel/Passing For Thin

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Old 05-19-2006, 01:01 PM   #2  
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Oh NO! I really enjoyed that book and related to many of her experiences (though I found her self-deprecation to be a bit much at times!). I will go check out the blog. I am so sad for her.

Thanks for the heads-up!

Jamie
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Old 05-19-2006, 01:46 PM   #3  
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Jamie, is this the book we read when we were in Montreal?

It is too bad if she regained her weight (obvsiously not unheard of), but came away with such a defeatist attitute. But, then again, as Jamie noted, the author wasn't known for her sunny disposition *LOL*

Thanks for the heads up. I too will be interested to check out her blog.

Pat
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Old 05-19-2006, 02:41 PM   #4  
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Hmm, both of your reactions to Passing To Thin are intriguing to me because I ended up not liking the book, especially the second half. I think it was primarily because of (what came across to me as) her nonstop, negative, defeatist attitude. She lost all that weight and found no joy in her life? Perhaps that's just her basic personality? Could it be linked to why she regained?? I really need to sit down and read her whole blog!
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Old 05-19-2006, 05:09 PM   #5  
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Peeking in.. Hi all.

I read her book and was saddened. It wasn't just her negativity but as I recall the way she lost the weight that worried me. I keep most of the books I've read as I like to read certain ones over and over again or lend them to friends. Hers was one that I sent to the used bookstore for credit on another book. I knew I would not want to read it again.

I am saddened to hear that she has regained so much back. If her new message is that it just can't be done it will do a lot of damage as so many people read Passing for Thin. The only way to combat it, is to keep plugging along and sharing stories of long term success.

And the more diverse our success the better. I mean people who have different weight histories, lost the weight different ways, etc etc. Being able to relate to someone else's success is an important influence.
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Old 05-19-2006, 09:17 PM   #6  
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I never read the original book. How did she lose the weight that it was worrisome? Off to browse at Amazon....

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Old 05-19-2006, 09:56 PM   #7  
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I'd have to go back and read it, Mel to tell you exactly what I was thinking as I read it. It was quite a long time ago. What I remember besides her talking about her pain, her relationship with her brother, and her quest to find support in her weightloss was her constant torture of herself and a lifestyle and eating plan that seemed to be void of pleasure. After becoming more familiar with her support system, I was glad so many people were there for her, but wishing desperately that she would find a better way. I felt a lot of her pain coming through the pages, but I remember saying to myself that her plan was not something I could ever follow or would want to encourage anyone I knew to follow. I wish I had the book now so I could reread a little and give you a more detailed reply.
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Old 05-20-2006, 01:09 AM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mel
I never read the original book. How did she lose the weight that it was worrisome? Off to browse at Amazon....

Mel
Yes, you did, silly! It was in the box of books that I send you for your surgery recovery ... you and I even discussed it with MrsJim after you read it. Methinks you must have been a tad drugged up not to remember ...

BTW, you didn't like it at all.
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Old 05-22-2006, 02:29 PM   #9  
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Mel, she joined Overeaters Anonymous. She had a sponsor who told her exactly what to eat, and from Day 1, she ate only what she was told. In the book, she claimed she never deviated from the plan a single time and the weight poured off all at once. A tad unrealistic (and hard to believe, too).

Being near her age and dealing with dating for the first time after losing the weight was one thing I related to. I had dated a bit after college, but not much, because of my weight. After the loss, though, I dated a lot. I had many, many setups from friends (and, oddly, many of the guys were fat, even though I was quite thin at that point - I think my friends must have still viewed me as a fat person or thought I wouldn't mind dating a fat guy because I used to be fat). Hmm. Anyway, I had some of the same fears about dating and body image that she had.

But I agree - her negative attitude and obvious self-hatred were probably what did her in. She never loved herself or her body and when she went off the wagon, it was obviously with a vengeance.

Pat, that is the book you gave me in Montreal!

Jamie
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Old 05-22-2006, 10:01 PM   #10  
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There are a lot of things I don't remember.....

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Old 05-26-2006, 07:44 AM   #11  
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I found this photo on her web site, dated April 2006 and captioned that she's down ten pounds. From the looks of the photo, she's regained substantial weight but isn't anywhere near her top weight, which was close to or over 300 pounds, I think?



I'm still skimming through her blog, trying to piece together what happened.
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:19 AM   #12  
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If you can gleen anything from her blog.. please let us know. I couldn't make heads or tails of anything... I got dizzy the more I read.
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Old 05-27-2006, 07:10 AM   #13  
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Okey dokey, I've been reading more of her blog and here's what I think is going on.

Frances Kuffel was never able to maintain her weight loss, not even for a minute. Apparently she hit her low of size 6/8 at 148 pounds sometime before the book was published and then she immediately started regaining. By the time she went on her seven-month book tour and appeared on Oprah, she writes that she was back to size 16 (this was in 2003/2004). She kept gaining until the spring of 2006 and now she's trying to lose again.

I don't know about you guys, but I feel a little cheated that I read a book about a supposed weight loss of half a person that wasn't even true when the book was published.

Anyway, Frances is currently trying to sell a proposal for a book about weight regain and reloss and is actively looking for people who have lost weight and regained at least 40 pounds. So that's going to be the topic of her new book.

If you've read Passing For Thin, I think it gives you some clues about why Frances failed so miserably at maintenance. She's wasn't a happy person before she lost the weight and weight loss didn't change that. Food was her best friend and she hated giving it up. She never seemed to find any joy in her new life - she just seemed resentful and bitter to me. Exercise didn't figure much in her plan. Overall, it definitely seemed like a 'diet' to me and not something that she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

I plan to keep reading her blog for insights into regain - it's not often that someone so publicly and spectacularly fails at weight loss and I give her a ton of credit for having the courage to write about it. She seems to take refuge in the idea that she's a 'food addict' so of course she regained ... it's all very instructional.

I'd love to hear what you guys think.
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Old 05-27-2006, 08:17 AM   #14  
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Wow, I had no idea that she started regaining even before her book was published. I don't feel cheated reading it under such pretenses because for me it wasn't a book about how to successfully lose weight but more the struggles, demons, and pain someone faced while trying to get control of her weight. I think a note in the book jacket or something like that about her regaining would have been appropriate, however.

I am concerned about her writing a book about regaining. Will it be negative or balanced? Will it also include people who have not regained.. or who have eventually after gaining and losing been able to control their weight in maintenance? I really doubt it will.

I agree that she failed because of her attitude and that she didn't exercise. But I also really wonder about the "way" she lost. I find it unreasonable to think that most people could live their lives eating only what they are told. I find it unreasonable that for the rest of someone's life there will be someone at the end of a phone line 24/7 when we need to make a food decision. I would hope that her sponsors would have educated her so that she could begin to take the reins herself.

Then again, this is coming from someone like me who has to hold the reins from day one. I decide what when how and where. I couldn't imagine having a diet plan or support group tell me what I can and can't eat.


All that being said, there are some really good points in her book. One of my eye openers was on page 89 (yes, you all made me go back to the used bookstore and buy a copy.. I wonder if it is the one I sold them!)

Anyway... p. 89 "'Pick up a twenty-pound bag of potatoes and imagine you're carrying that,' I'd been told a million times in my obesity. It was a fallacy. My 170 pounds had not been a hump on my back, it had been distributed evenly over my frame, like a suit."

I had always marveled at the analogy of carrying bricks for every extra 5 pounds... until reading this.
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Old 05-27-2006, 09:18 AM   #15  
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Jayde, I think you really hit the nail on the head with your observation about HOW she lost the weight. I guess it never sunk in to me that she was being told what to eat - I'm not familiar with OA and it's system of support. How could she possibly be equipped for maintenance if she never had to make choices about what, when, and how much to eat? Like you, I can't imagine having the decisions about food being made for me. That would last for about three minutes (could that be why I failed at so many 'diets'?)

Now I'm going to have to go back and re-read - it should be especially interesting with the hindsight of knowing about the weight regain.
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